stories of a real life wonder woman

Overwhelming deep sadness can overcome you at anytime without warning...that happened to me today...I have had a great week...and today was a great end to the week...I got to see some camp people because we had a staff meeting...and I went to the Saunders Ranch and watched the Oscar's with Nicole, Betty, mom, and Tom (part of the time)...quick side story to that we had to fill out ballots before hand of who we thought/wanted to win and then during the awards keep track of who did win to see who got the most right...and I won with 12...so that feels kind of good...but I have been in this odd funk since this afternoon...I wish I could describe it to you but I don't know how too...all I know it that it feels almost like something I can't shake...it's almost like I need a restart to the day or to just sleep not walking up till it's a new day to feel better and that seems to be the only thing that really helps... Also this week on Tuesday I have a scope I am not lookin...

But I am thinking I was wrong because after I wrote down my last idea I have been conflicted thinking maybe I should talk about something else...but before I get to that I will do a quick update about my doctors appointment this week for those of you who didn't see my mom's update... My albumin which is related to my protein is up which is good...I no longer have to drink this nasty juice additive thing that is super gross...plus that's something that they look at to make sure it is above 4 so that you can be active on the transplant list...mine is above 4...woowho...but my hemoglobin still needs some work...my epo is causing me to have high blood pressure a little again but not as bad as before yet...but it is helping my hemoglobin levels stablize a little...also I have no food restrictions so that's really great...and Dr. Sader said my fistula was healing good...when he saw it he even said "he (refering to Dr. O'Connor) even made it look pretty"...now ...

This week is sort of one of those weeks...not because I feel like I have nothing on my mind or nothing going on but because I have so much on my mind its hard to sort through all of it to bring out something that's actually worth saying... So I guess I will start with a health update...not much has gone on in that department this week...I'm just in a lot of pain still from the fistula operation...have been really trying not to take any pains meds but every now and then I have to take something anyways...I have stopped taking the strong stuff and Tylenol barely helps but that's all I can take so I guess I'll take it...especially if it helps me sleep sometimes...the worse part is that my perm cath has been hurting a lot this week...since you saw a picture of my gross arm last week here is a picture of my perm cath... You can see the tube going straight up under my skin...the whole thing has been irritated along with the skin around it since my skin hates tape with a ...

So during the week sometimes I make little notes to myself of things to talk about in my note...sometimes I have a lot of notes with cool thought and observances...other times...like this week...I don't have many notes and they aren't really that thought provoking...and though I titled this the good the bad and the mundane...I don't know for sure if there really was a bad...but we will get there...and since I like to go in order we will start with the good... This is something I meant to mention last week but I forgot about it...that's what happens when I don't make a note of things...anywho I am really excited because I am going to be in Arizona for a week early in May for my graduation...I am pretty stoked about that and getting to see my friends there...and obviously about graduating on time...whenever people hear that despite me being sick I am still going to graduate from college in four years...I think their minds are a little blown...I am even sort of looki...