stories of a real life wonder woman

Before I say anything else I want to say that I suck at taking my own advice that I post on this blog...I mean for realsies super suck at it... And now I am not really sure what to say...that could be because I often feel like I have to dole out some sort of great wisdom...but sometimes all I got is talking about my hair... I told mom that I just want to talk about my hair cause I love it so much...I can't stop touching it...and I smile when I look in the mirror...I feel so beautiful and like my haircut fits who I am...and I just keep laughing thinking about how nervous I was to cut it...when I should have cut it like this sooner...one of my friends walked up to me today and looked at my hair and said something like "oh there you are? Where have you been?" and went on to tell me how much my hair suits me and looks great...definitely makes me feel good that other people see that my hair matches my personality...there is so much about my fresh cut that I love but I doub...

So I'm possibly about to super contradict myself all within one blog post... Before I do that I will tell you that my appointment today was fine...nothing much happened even though I left in a bad mood...mom is going to have to do more blood tests because they aren't happy with some of her numbers...she needs to be as close to perfect health as possibly...so I would love if you would keep that in mind when you are praying... Now on to contradicting myself... Sara Bareilles came out with the song "Brave" yesterday...and it's no secret that I love her...and this song is pretty legit...it's got all the things I love...a killer beat...heartfelt lyrics...a powerhouse of a voice...and when I listen to the song it hits me to my core... Here it is... Now I'm not really one who is known to hold my tongue but I do a lot more than I would like to...more often than not I just want to call Bullshit on anything and everything...or I want to get in peoples...

In case you were wondering I feel like I can't focus on anything the majority of the time right now...I keep thinking about how nice it will be to have a new to me working kidney in me relatively soon... Though I do need to stress a few things...first this doesn't change things for right now...I still have to do dialysis and it's been a little difficult recently with the needles not wanting to go in...and mom still has some testing to do to make sure she is healthy and able to give me a kidney...on a side note if you don't know why she hasn't tested before it's because she has had some heart problems so she thought she couldn't donate to me which she was really upset about...but then her heart doctor cleared her because she hasn't had any problems in a few years...though she matched me when I was little we weren't sure if she would be a match now because my blood has changed so much after all the transfusions I have had to have...which also makes t...

Mom texted me this morning to tell me that she's a match!!!!! I don't know when yet but I am going to be getting a kidney from her. And I have been listening to this song all morning...the second one that comes up... http://grooveshark.com/#!/search/song?q=Madison+Greene+Tribal+Call listen to the whole thing it's worth it...and not just because it's hippy music that makes me want to dance

It needs to be said that without Nicole this week would have been shitty... It started out with an appointment in Peoria to see my stomach doctor...the appointment wasn't bad...I got off one of my stomach meds and the other got a decrease...but then I left the hospital...almost caused an accident because of a misunderstanding...and then got a little lost...which left me flustered the rest of the day...and then I forgot that I had a blood draw and some other things to do...so I ended the day feeling like I couldn't do anything right and crying my eyes out... The rest of the week I was trying to do a lot everyday...with new to do lists everyday...running myself ragged...and pretty much making myself sick...but I had to get stuff done for many things...like for my class...or cleaning...or stuff for the family... My crowning moment however might have been Friday night when I spent some time yelling at God telling him how frustrated I am with life...this was all triggered beca...

Many of you know that yesterday I was having an off day... Many of you may also know the song "Nothing is Wasted" by Jason Gray...if you don't here's a video of it... I happen to be friends with Jason but even if I wasn't I would still listen to his music and rave about it because I find so much truth in it... I think it's pretty obvious why I bring up my bad day and this song but that doesn't mean I'm not going to talk about it... Sometimes I get rally frustrated with myself that I have off days or that I feel often like I can't just enjoy life...I can quickly get wrapped up in how sick I am....or many other things that bring my day and my mood down... But I got thinking about this song...and how God uses even the messiest hardest things to shape us...if he can use our hot mess mistakes...I'm pretty sure that means he can use our average bad days to change...grow...and teach us as well... You see I know that he holds me and all t...

I know it's Saturday and I usually post on Sunday...don't worry I will post one tomorrow too... I feel like I am having what you might call an off day...some people might say waking up on the wrong side of the bed...but no side to me is the wrong side...so I say off day...what I mean by that is that it seems like every little stupid thing is upsetting and frustrating to me... Sometimes my off days and frustrations are really a guise for how annoyed I am with being sick...like I could say everything is upsetting me because I am tired of being sick...sick of dialysis...or today tired of my back hurting on and off all week still even after multiple trips to the chiropractor... But it's really none of that...I am just frustrated and moody...and it happens...it makes me feel like I should have a shirt or hoodie on today that says "WARNING I'm pissy today. Stay back!"... This weird mood I am in today has made me realize even more how often I am silently tell...