How shall I put this

Yesterday was interesting...

I had a really good day and I wasn't about to let anything ruin it...not even the fact that I found out my sister isn't a good match to be a donor...

So begins the process of testing other family members to see if they would be a good match...the next choices are some of my cousins...

I'm not really upset...I sort of just feel like "ok no big deal moving on"...I think I am used to my plans not matching up with gods plans and I know that His plans end up better than my own...so obviously He has some sort of sweet trick up His sleeve...plus I don't feel like getting upset would help me any right now...I don't feel like I need that release that comes with crying...it's weird I get upset about things that don't matter that much but then I don't get upset about things that are a bigger deal...I keep thinking that the reality of the situation right now will sink in and I will start to get anger or frustrated but that still hasn't happened so maybe it won't...

I wish I could tell you exactly what happens next but I don't know...mom and I contacted one of my cousins that said he wanted to donate so we just wait and see how that goes...besides that I don't know what to tell you...it really is just a waiting game right now...I don't know what that means for dialysis or time frame or anything...I just know that now as pretty much always...we wait...

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