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I had my blog almost finished and then everything somehow got deleted. I had written how cranky I have been and that just made me that much more cranky.
See I haven't been feeling good and I have either been at the doctors office or been on the phone with the doctors office everyday this week. I am sick of it. I don't feel good and that is making me cranky. I've had a lot of abdominal cramps which have been making the rest of my body hurt. Along with that I have been nauseous 90% of the time. The other day my mouth tasted like throw up all day too so that was fun. So you can understand why I am cranky, irritable, frustrated, and hiding out from the world more than a Hermit Crab does. A lot of time has been spent in my sweat pants in bed because I am still so upset about the news of my stomach. So there's that.
Added to my stomach problems this week is that I might be put on birth control. I went and saw my gynecologist for a check up and mentioned some problems I have been having. She thinks they could be medicine related but they could also be from other things. And so I had a pelvic ultrasound to check out everything. Now birth control has been known to make my mom sick. I tend to react to meds the same way my mom does. So though birth control could fix the problems I have been having it could also cause a lot more. Which is obviously shitty and I am tired of crappy side effects.
As I am sure you can assume I am sick of everything. I still have about a month till surgery to get the polyps removed and frankly I don't want to fight with my body and deal with the pain for another month. I want to be done and that's that.
Other than that I have been thinking a lot about names. Admittedly I already think about them a lot because I think names say a lot about a person. I think the same about nicknames. When creating a character I like to make their name match their personality because I feel like that is true in life.
I have been thinking about names because I got thinking about Simon from the Bible who became Peter. See I have been taught most of my life that God gives us new names.This is mentioned in the Bible; one of those places is in Revelation. Anyway I got thinking about how I feel like a lot of what I have been taught or understood about getting a new name is that those names are usually adjectives. An example would be something like instead of being named inconsistent I'm named faithful. But when I look at people like Simon he isn't called rock or cornerstone but instead Peter. And I wonder what my new name would be. What name God would give me that he knows fits me perfectly.
Know I am not saying I don't like my name because I do. I think it's fun that my parents don't have any other reason behind naming me but that they like the name. I like that I am Abby not Abigail. I like the meaning of my name. And more than that I like the story of Abigail from the Bible in 1 Samuel 25. I love that she is giving and generous in wanting to help David and his men. I like that she is brave and does what is right to save herself and those around her. I love that she is humble before David. I love that she acts, even in secrecy, and in that way stands up to her husband. I love that she has faith in the promises and trust in her God. And I love that even the Abby in the Bible has a "I do what I want" attitude. That makes me proud to hold her name.
I like all those things that are held within my name. And I tend to think it fits me well. And yet I still see my own failures that I hold in my name. And so I wonder what my father in Heaven would call me. And I think about how he has erased the negatives that are encompassed in my name.
And it is when I am cranky and fed up with life that I need to listen to him calling softy for me. Speaking the truth of both my birth name and the name he has given me.
See I haven't been feeling good and I have either been at the doctors office or been on the phone with the doctors office everyday this week. I am sick of it. I don't feel good and that is making me cranky. I've had a lot of abdominal cramps which have been making the rest of my body hurt. Along with that I have been nauseous 90% of the time. The other day my mouth tasted like throw up all day too so that was fun. So you can understand why I am cranky, irritable, frustrated, and hiding out from the world more than a Hermit Crab does. A lot of time has been spent in my sweat pants in bed because I am still so upset about the news of my stomach. So there's that.
Added to my stomach problems this week is that I might be put on birth control. I went and saw my gynecologist for a check up and mentioned some problems I have been having. She thinks they could be medicine related but they could also be from other things. And so I had a pelvic ultrasound to check out everything. Now birth control has been known to make my mom sick. I tend to react to meds the same way my mom does. So though birth control could fix the problems I have been having it could also cause a lot more. Which is obviously shitty and I am tired of crappy side effects.
As I am sure you can assume I am sick of everything. I still have about a month till surgery to get the polyps removed and frankly I don't want to fight with my body and deal with the pain for another month. I want to be done and that's that.
Other than that I have been thinking a lot about names. Admittedly I already think about them a lot because I think names say a lot about a person. I think the same about nicknames. When creating a character I like to make their name match their personality because I feel like that is true in life.
I have been thinking about names because I got thinking about Simon from the Bible who became Peter. See I have been taught most of my life that God gives us new names.This is mentioned in the Bible; one of those places is in Revelation. Anyway I got thinking about how I feel like a lot of what I have been taught or understood about getting a new name is that those names are usually adjectives. An example would be something like instead of being named inconsistent I'm named faithful. But when I look at people like Simon he isn't called rock or cornerstone but instead Peter. And I wonder what my new name would be. What name God would give me that he knows fits me perfectly.
Know I am not saying I don't like my name because I do. I think it's fun that my parents don't have any other reason behind naming me but that they like the name. I like that I am Abby not Abigail. I like the meaning of my name. And more than that I like the story of Abigail from the Bible in 1 Samuel 25. I love that she is giving and generous in wanting to help David and his men. I like that she is brave and does what is right to save herself and those around her. I love that she is humble before David. I love that she acts, even in secrecy, and in that way stands up to her husband. I love that she has faith in the promises and trust in her God. And I love that even the Abby in the Bible has a "I do what I want" attitude. That makes me proud to hold her name.
I like all those things that are held within my name. And I tend to think it fits me well. And yet I still see my own failures that I hold in my name. And so I wonder what my father in Heaven would call me. And I think about how he has erased the negatives that are encompassed in my name.
And it is when I am cranky and fed up with life that I need to listen to him calling softy for me. Speaking the truth of both my birth name and the name he has given me.
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