This Week
Ya'll I am constantly putting a lot of pressure on myself. Even here in this space where all I am doing is sharing about my life. I am putting pressure on myself to have more to say/share. Pressure to not sound negative or down about life.
But I find that I am often down about life because I am putting super high expectations on myself that I can't meet - it's a vicious cycle.
And I am going to try not to do that now.
So here's what has been going on this week -
Not much. I haven't been sleeping well at all which is normal. I normally sleep well in the early morning but I have been waking up a lot and that has been making me grouchy.
However I must be doing good at containing my grouchiness because I feel like more people - students and staff - have been approaching me this week with questions or to just talk. As a librarian I love that people trust that I will find them what they are looking for. As someone who often finds herself lonely in a new place I love that people are sharing more of their lives with me even if it is just about a movie they liked. That brief moment of connection brings some extra light into my days.
I haven't been feeling the best and it has been six weeks with these enlarged glands on my tongue. All of that freaks me out a little because I like working and want to work but I sometimes worry that I can't handle my stress and worry well enough to not constantly get sick while working. Which of course only often makes me worry more. Again - it's a vicious cycle.
So mostly it's a lot of trying to sleep and then just trying to rest. And a lot of reminding myself to not freak out about things that I can't change while lying in bed at 2:00am. And then a lot of reminding myself to calm down at work because I am good at my job. Followed by reminding myself of every little accomplishment from the day so far.
If you are on spring break - Happy Spring Break! Enjoy it! If you are not - Spring is here! Easter is coming! May both of those thoughts bring hope and lift your soul like they do mine.
But I find that I am often down about life because I am putting super high expectations on myself that I can't meet - it's a vicious cycle.
And I am going to try not to do that now.
So here's what has been going on this week -
Not much. I haven't been sleeping well at all which is normal. I normally sleep well in the early morning but I have been waking up a lot and that has been making me grouchy.
However I must be doing good at containing my grouchiness because I feel like more people - students and staff - have been approaching me this week with questions or to just talk. As a librarian I love that people trust that I will find them what they are looking for. As someone who often finds herself lonely in a new place I love that people are sharing more of their lives with me even if it is just about a movie they liked. That brief moment of connection brings some extra light into my days.
I haven't been feeling the best and it has been six weeks with these enlarged glands on my tongue. All of that freaks me out a little because I like working and want to work but I sometimes worry that I can't handle my stress and worry well enough to not constantly get sick while working. Which of course only often makes me worry more. Again - it's a vicious cycle.
So mostly it's a lot of trying to sleep and then just trying to rest. And a lot of reminding myself to not freak out about things that I can't change while lying in bed at 2:00am. And then a lot of reminding myself to calm down at work because I am good at my job. Followed by reminding myself of every little accomplishment from the day so far.
If you are on spring break - Happy Spring Break! Enjoy it! If you are not - Spring is here! Easter is coming! May both of those thoughts bring hope and lift your soul like they do mine.
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