Classes and in center Dialysis
As many of you know I am at U of I right now taking a class to start off my master's program...and I am loving it...I really am...but I want to be home so bad...mainly just because I hate dialysis at in center...after dialysis on Friday morning I felt sick the whole rest of the day...like nauseous and light headed it just wasn't fun at all...and my arm hurt so bad...it felt bruised all over...not because the nurses did anything wrong I am just used to how we do things at home and how sensitive mom is with my arm because she knows I bruise easily...so that all makes me not like dialysis at in center...and I also don't like it because I am not feeling to good today either...my body can't handle the time in between the treatments...I'm not that swollen but I just feel gross...some of the same feelings I had after dialysis the other day joined with feeling so tired like my body has been trying to work to hard...that makes me glad I will have dialysis early Monday morning...but I am also not looking forward to feeling so gross afterwards...so it's a good thing I only have to go to in center one more day...now I understand why people hate going to in center...I feel like my whole day is shot after I go get dialysis because I feel like I can't function...I keep telling myself only one more time...
On another note sort of along the lines of my health I have actually gone to bed at decent times these past few nights...maybe it's because I can't nap during the day...and because I am walking a lot more than I normally do so it is making me tired...I know my hemoglobin was great when I left but now I am thinking it might be going down...just because I have been so tired...I am not sure if today I'm tired because of all the toxins in my body...I just know it's hard to keep my eyes open which is no fun...but I'm hoping it comes into play tonight so I can get some good sleep before dialysis in the morning...and then maybe I can sleep through dialysis too...that would be nice...
As for classes I'm enjoying them a lot...and I have been feeling like I am smart recently too...for example the TAs were telling just how to read for grad school...and I already do that...mainly because I don't want to spend my whole life reading articles...I have other things I need to do...so that made me feel good and made me feel smart...I have been skyping with mom at night and when I tell her that stuff she always tells me that I am smarter than I think I am...because truthfully I don't think that compared to most people I am that smart...maybe because I realize I still have a lot to learn...but don't they say that is the mark of a truly smart person...I don't know...whatever...I'm getting side tracked...
I am also pretty proud of myself because I am making friends...go me...I know people think I am super friendly and outgoing and whatever...but the truth is that I am horrible at making friends...I tend to be a bit of a hermit...ok maybe more than a bit...anywho I have been making friends with my class mates...most of them do pretty cool things or want to research coll topics...I think it help that everyone in the class is nerdy like me...so it's pretty easy to make friend when we all have common interests...and we had to do a group project so that has helped me get to know some people to...and I am actually enjoying this group work...which is a first for me...
Overall it has been a pretty good week...despite feeling like crap because of dialysis or lack thereof...I am just excited to see where all this goes in the future...and excited feeling like I know what I am doing with my life...it's good to have direction...
On another note sort of along the lines of my health I have actually gone to bed at decent times these past few nights...maybe it's because I can't nap during the day...and because I am walking a lot more than I normally do so it is making me tired...I know my hemoglobin was great when I left but now I am thinking it might be going down...just because I have been so tired...I am not sure if today I'm tired because of all the toxins in my body...I just know it's hard to keep my eyes open which is no fun...but I'm hoping it comes into play tonight so I can get some good sleep before dialysis in the morning...and then maybe I can sleep through dialysis too...that would be nice...
As for classes I'm enjoying them a lot...and I have been feeling like I am smart recently too...for example the TAs were telling just how to read for grad school...and I already do that...mainly because I don't want to spend my whole life reading articles...I have other things I need to do...so that made me feel good and made me feel smart...I have been skyping with mom at night and when I tell her that stuff she always tells me that I am smarter than I think I am...because truthfully I don't think that compared to most people I am that smart...maybe because I realize I still have a lot to learn...but don't they say that is the mark of a truly smart person...I don't know...whatever...I'm getting side tracked...
I am also pretty proud of myself because I am making friends...go me...I know people think I am super friendly and outgoing and whatever...but the truth is that I am horrible at making friends...I tend to be a bit of a hermit...ok maybe more than a bit...anywho I have been making friends with my class mates...most of them do pretty cool things or want to research coll topics...I think it help that everyone in the class is nerdy like me...so it's pretty easy to make friend when we all have common interests...and we had to do a group project so that has helped me get to know some people to...and I am actually enjoying this group work...which is a first for me...
Overall it has been a pretty good week...despite feeling like crap because of dialysis or lack thereof...I am just excited to see where all this goes in the future...and excited feeling like I know what I am doing with my life...it's good to have direction...
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