Some Updates of a Sort
Hey there,
It's been a while. I thought about writing more than a few times about soaking up summer sun about fear about who our real enemy is (not each other) but then I would decide to spend more of my day relaxing or working in my yard or whatever instead of writing.
But I have been thinking recently I should write again about illness in particular write about how even when I look healthy my body is still sick. Even when I look healthy my body still would not function without the carefully monitored concoction of medications that I ingest twice a day. Say I miss one dose - I will be ok but I will feel the side effects. If I miss a full day I will feel like shit. If I miss two or three days of those pills then a hospital stay is likely. I just say that to try to make it fully known how sick my body is. And the importance of those medications. Even though they make it so things like a common cold knock me out for days they also keep me alive.
And any change of dosage wrecks my body for a few days.
Currently I am trying to adjust to taking birth control continuously without the days where I bleed. I am doing this because my new gynecologist here is hoping that will lessen my symptoms that point to endometriosis. I started birth control years ago when my body bleed non-stop for more than 15 days. You're body is not supposed to do that and the only way mine stops bleeding is with the birth control. And I gotta say my body is not a fan of this change at all. Taking birth control continuously pushes the body into a type of early menopause. For me it has meant a lot of weakness, more muscle pain than normal, nausea that comes and goes, and dizziness.
On top of that I had a cold soon after starting the continuous cycle. Which basically led to multiple days of only moving around my house a little.
I continue to feel like something is not right with my body while knowing that it is largely in part due to the change in medication and being sick. And just when I was finally feeling like I might have gotten over the cold my glands started swelling and my throat started hurting again.
I do try most of the time to just grin and bare it. I understand fully that we do not live in a world where it is ok to call off sick everyday for what would be over a month at this point. So even though my body does not feel great or even like often doing things I deal with it. I think about what I can do at work at my desk to not wear myself out more. I try to make sure I have things in my desk drawer I might need - snacks, tylenol, tums, fiber pills, cough drops it's like a mini pharmacy at times.
And the past few weekends I have tried to do what I need to do in my house and yard early on in the weekend so the rest of the weekend I can crash on my couch. At times I have still overdone it because I want to get things done even when I feel like shit. And at times I give my best for the few hours that I can before laying my weary body back down. But mostly I try to keep things slow.
And it would be easy to just say everything is crap because my body is crap but everything isn't crap. Like have you guys had beautiful weather - man I have. It has been so beautiful here. Sunny with a breeze and perfect blue skies with the mix of fluffy clouds.
Guys being sick can be a real drag and it is very easy to be negative when you feel like shit. But I never want to live a life of negativity. I feel like that kills not only our own soul but can harm those around you as well. Instead I want to see the good around me and celebrate the positives. Like a positive for right now - my crappy internet has lasted this whole time and I should be able to post this with no problems. Win!
Look for the positives.
Look for the wins.
No matter how small.
It's been a while. I thought about writing more than a few times about soaking up summer sun about fear about who our real enemy is (not each other) but then I would decide to spend more of my day relaxing or working in my yard or whatever instead of writing.
But I have been thinking recently I should write again about illness in particular write about how even when I look healthy my body is still sick. Even when I look healthy my body still would not function without the carefully monitored concoction of medications that I ingest twice a day. Say I miss one dose - I will be ok but I will feel the side effects. If I miss a full day I will feel like shit. If I miss two or three days of those pills then a hospital stay is likely. I just say that to try to make it fully known how sick my body is. And the importance of those medications. Even though they make it so things like a common cold knock me out for days they also keep me alive.
And any change of dosage wrecks my body for a few days.
Currently I am trying to adjust to taking birth control continuously without the days where I bleed. I am doing this because my new gynecologist here is hoping that will lessen my symptoms that point to endometriosis. I started birth control years ago when my body bleed non-stop for more than 15 days. You're body is not supposed to do that and the only way mine stops bleeding is with the birth control. And I gotta say my body is not a fan of this change at all. Taking birth control continuously pushes the body into a type of early menopause. For me it has meant a lot of weakness, more muscle pain than normal, nausea that comes and goes, and dizziness.
On top of that I had a cold soon after starting the continuous cycle. Which basically led to multiple days of only moving around my house a little.
I continue to feel like something is not right with my body while knowing that it is largely in part due to the change in medication and being sick. And just when I was finally feeling like I might have gotten over the cold my glands started swelling and my throat started hurting again.
I do try most of the time to just grin and bare it. I understand fully that we do not live in a world where it is ok to call off sick everyday for what would be over a month at this point. So even though my body does not feel great or even like often doing things I deal with it. I think about what I can do at work at my desk to not wear myself out more. I try to make sure I have things in my desk drawer I might need - snacks, tylenol, tums, fiber pills, cough drops it's like a mini pharmacy at times.
And the past few weekends I have tried to do what I need to do in my house and yard early on in the weekend so the rest of the weekend I can crash on my couch. At times I have still overdone it because I want to get things done even when I feel like shit. And at times I give my best for the few hours that I can before laying my weary body back down. But mostly I try to keep things slow.
And it would be easy to just say everything is crap because my body is crap but everything isn't crap. Like have you guys had beautiful weather - man I have. It has been so beautiful here. Sunny with a breeze and perfect blue skies with the mix of fluffy clouds.
Guys being sick can be a real drag and it is very easy to be negative when you feel like shit. But I never want to live a life of negativity. I feel like that kills not only our own soul but can harm those around you as well. Instead I want to see the good around me and celebrate the positives. Like a positive for right now - my crappy internet has lasted this whole time and I should be able to post this with no problems. Win!
Look for the positives.
Look for the wins.
No matter how small.
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