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Showing posts from June, 2016

Rough but Good

Guys this week has been rough but also incredibly good. First rough because we have been sorting through 1000 books since Wednesday night as fast as we can. One of our locations closed and we thought we were going to get the books from there much sooner. Since we didn't we have only about a week to sort and re-catalog all of them. That may not sound like a lot but with all the places we have to check it is. Also at the moment only our librarian is doing the re-cataloging which is a lot of work for her. We are getting it done but I think it is wearing us all out. I know it is me. Also this week has been rough because my insomnia has been worse than normal. I try not to talk about it much because posting about how I am wake in bed at 2:00 am again won't change it. Also every one has reason why they are tired. But this week has had me feeling a bit like a zombie - unable to sleep and cranky. So normal things have made me more emotional cause I feel like my brain hasn't had

3 years

First - I love that Jason Gray just released an album titled "Where the Light gets in" and Switchfoot is soon releasing an album titled "Where the Light Shines Through." I think that's cool that the titles are so similar and they are about the same thing - that God works in our brokenness. Second - I had an in office appointment with my GI doc that was pretty uneventful and we set up a time for my yearly scope. Even though I know that I will have to go every year for probably the rest of my life that still can be a hard reality to swallow. I can tell I was having a hard time with it the other day because I kept stressing about scheduling the appointment and missing work and some of the unimportant things that really aren't the root of the problem. Anyway I have calmed down now and I work with people who are all very understanding so time off is really no problem which then reminds me that Jesus knew this job would be a good fit for me. Today I celebrate

Librarian

Three year appointment on Friday went well. I took the whole day off for it since it was in the middle of the day and I usually have to wait a long time at that office. I did not have to wait as long Friday which was nice and everything went well. I met another new doctor and liked this one a lot. He said something like "I can't believe I am meeting you just to say goodbye" since three years is the last follow up I have to do in that office. And then later he said "I don't want to see you again. I hope you know what I mean" and I did. The only way they would see me in that office again was if I was to the point of needing a transplant again. So that was all good nothing really to report. Then I got to relax the rest of the day which was much needed because I have been stressing out and getting frustrated again. Maybe one day I won't be so hard on myself but today is not that day. And even though I really do like my church I have still being feeling lik

Good Day

Oh my gosh - Today was so good. I have been here since August. I have tried 3 different churches including the one I tried today. I have felt ignored and a bit shamed for being sick. I have tried to make bad things work. I have cried thinking of how I didn't want to go to a church where I didn't feel I belonged. I have ducked out of service early. And yet I have put myself out there time and time again knowing that I need that connection only to feel unwanted. But today - guys today was so what I needed. Five people talked to be before the service including the pastor. So then for the first time since I have moved here I actually took communion. That felt like a big step. Then during church one of the ladies I had already talked to invited me to stay after since they were having pizza before a meeting. Then after church another lady invited me to stay as well. Then when I tried to leave since I don't actually know anyone (Who would I sit with?) the pastor kind of bl