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Showing posts from May, 2011

Sexy Man of God

Something I have been thinking about a lot lately oddly enough for me is having someone to take care of me...and I don't mean like my mom...not that she isn't great because she is the best...but I mean like someone to hold me and let me cry or hold my hand when I am scared but don't want to admit it or talk about it... I like to think I can take care of myself and I think I really can to an extent...but I cannot deny a few things...like that it would be nice to have someone take care of me...or that there is nothing more attractive to me than a man who is secure in his love for Jesus...that is the type of person I want to look after me...to help remind me how good God is and how much he and God love me when life gets overwhelming... Mind you I know it wouldn't make anything perfect or solve any of my problems...I'm not naive...I will still have a million and one health problems the rest of my life no matter if I end up getting married or not... And I also know

Another week of doing nothing

I'm a little unsure about this post because I know I can be overly blunt even abrassive...I also know that I have been worse than normal about that lately because I haven't been feeling good and as a result my self worth has not been the best...so if something I said caught you off guard in a bad way and I offended you I am sorry... When you can't do much because you are sick you spend a lot of time sitting around thinking...and it gets really hard to not feel sorry for yourself...just in case anyone was wondering...that is something I have been struggling a lot with this week...I want to be postive and upbeat but when I get so tired so fast after doing so little it gets really hard to stay upbeat...for example the other day I went out to the Kerr house and I didn't really do anything out there...I tried to take a nap and watched TV that was pretty much it and yet the next day I felt like I had been hit by a truck because I had so little energy...I can not even begin

I want you forever...

Forever and always through the good and the bad and the ugly we'll grow old together forever and always - Parachute - Forever and Always...this to me is just another one of of those cute love songs that I ahve had stuck in my head all week...I like to think about how God sings stuff liek that to us and he always follows through on those things...I love this song because unlike too many songs that make it seem like life will be great for us once we are together we will have no problems this song says that things will be bad but I still want to be with your through that...I like that a lot... I feel like I should still stay on the light side of things and then finish with some of my more serious thoughts...and I think I will continue with talking about God's love...I read this book a couple years agao and others of you probably have to and in the book they talk about how God sends us kisses...things that are perfect and just for us and make us feel amazing...some of my friends

after the day and night I've had...

I feel the need to write... Not that my day was bad but it has gotten me thinking about a lot of different things... first it has me thinking about friendships...I was the type of girl that when I left high school I could have cared less if I ever talked to most of those people again even the ones I called friends because I began to see how I really didn't want to spend time with them...I know it sounds bad but I found a lot of the friendships to be medicore...some of them I have kept in contact with but for the most part I said goodbye and that was it...no real loss or regret...leaving them was not hard...tonight however I went to a bonfire with some of my real friends...people that constantly want to know what's going on in my life...people that know how much I hate ot cry but have seen me cry and have even cried with me in times of pain and struggle...when we get together we all fall into this easy repore with the usual jokes and laughter but also with the heart hitting

I finally gave in

for a couple months now I have been debating with myself about starting an actual blog...I already write once a week on facebook on sundays so writing a blog would really be nothing new...yet for some reason starting a blog has sort of scared me and made me nervous... maybe it's the fact that more than just my facebook friends can read what I write and I can be very blunt...maybe it's the fact that I take writing even a blog kind of seriously because I want to write for the rest of my life... whatever the case maybe or was I finally gave in knowing the only thing that was holding me back was myself...others were telling me to start a blog...people would tell me how they loved reading my notes encouraging me to continue to write...so I'm giving in... it also helps that people want to know what's going on with my health and not all of them have facbook and this is an easy way to tell them what's going on...plus when I moved back to Illinios from Arizona my frien