stories of a real life wonder woman

But there is something you should know before I talk about my fun week...no matter how good a day or week I am having the realities of my life are still under it all still making me feel overwhelmed at times...here's what I mean by the realities of my life...this is not my home heaven is and I will have a constant longing to be there no matter how good this life on Earth can be...something will always feel like it's missing or not right on this Earth because it's not my home...it's sort of like this song I am currently obsessed with by KT Tunstall called Throw me a Rope (if you look it up listen to the acoustic version)...it really is a love song but the beginning of it makes me think of how I feel about Jesus and being in heaven when she sings "I want you between me and the feeling I get when I miss you and everything here is telling me I should be fine"...the other reality that is the one that tends to be more overwhelming is that I will always be sick till

And I normally post on Sunday and I didn't...don't worry I'm not dead...I was at a friends house last night hanging out so that was nice but I was out there kind of late and then by the time I got home I didn't feel like posting...plus I sort of have been more moody than normal lately which makes me not really want to post cause when I am moody like this I never know what I will say and how much I will regret it later... You would think that since I am feeling a little bit better since getting my transfusion I would be in a better mood but that is not the case...I'm in a worst mood...it annoys me to no end that even though I feel good its only temporary and I still can't do the things I want to do...and I am also having no one of those times when I don't really want to talk about my health with anyone...I just get sick of talking about my health...there's more to me than that so sometimes I get in these moods where when people ask me about my health I

And didn't get home again until about 1:30 AM... I'm not really sure what all to tell you about the day...we were packed and prepared for whatever including the doctor to send us to Peoria (our appointment was in Princeton) first I got my blood drawn and my shot...the dose was really high since my hemoglobin was 5.9 the lowest it's ever been...needless to say it killed...I was trying so hard to relax but that didn't work so well...I like to think I am pretty tough and can handle pain well but my automatic response to the shot is to want to cry because it hurts so much...I don't really know how else to describe it but to say it feels like my arm is on fire...and then my arm feels numb for quite a while...then every litte bump or nugde brings back the orginal pain...after that we went and saw my kidney doctor... First we talked about my diarrhea and how much weight I lost...so he decided to change me back to the anti-rejection meds I was on before I came home from

Which means I am not sure where to begin...I wrote down a lot of different things I could talk about...I'm not sure if this post will end up being really long because it contains it all or if I will break it up and post multiple times this week talking about the past week...(I'm adding this after finishing...I put everything in one hopefully it's not too long...it took me forever to write I kept getting distracted or losing my train of thought...and now it's late and I don't want to proof read this so I'm not going to...enjoy all my spelling errors or typing mistakes) This week was long for multiple reasons...I was at camp and it always seems like so much happens in such a short period of time at camp...and I have still been sick with diarrhea and on the phone with my doctors office like everyday despite being at camp...plus I have come to a lot of realizations this week about many things and it's sort of got my slow moving mind spinning...so I'm not q

So I am heading out to Rock River Bible Camp tomorrow and will be there all week...that means this week instead of posting late I am posting early... On the health front I would ask that you would continue to keep me in your prayers...in 3 weeks I have lost about 16 pounds...so I have even less energy...I feel like maybe my diarrhea is finally passing but I have thought that a few times already so we will see what happens...I am going to camp though...I wouldn't miss it...I love seeing all the people and feeling like I can be useful...I will have a golf cart out at camp so that it will be easier for me to get around without losing too much energy... Besides that I don't really know what to say so I thought I would post this video of what I shared at Mountain of Praise a couple of weekends ago... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsE3mk1YOds I have this feeling when I get back from camp I will have a lot to tell you so the post might be long...unless I am super tired from b

And I normally post on Sunday...and I didn't yet again...but I've been super tired so yesterday I didn't feel like posting...plus I feel like I don't know what to write about... I still haven't been feeling to great so it's hard to be positive and I feel like no one wants to read my always negative nancy posts... It's offically been three weeks of diarrhea which is totally awesome...and my body is trying really hard to heal itself which isn't really working...the mix of being sick and taking meds to help with that and taking my normal meds and my body trying to heal itself makes me feel pretty gross all the time...so that's not always fun to deal with but I don't really ahve a choice... I have found though that I hate telling people about what has been going on with me because I hate seeing the reaction on people's faces when I tell them I don't feel good...seeing people get disappointed and worried and upset when I tell them that I

That's kind of a big deal for me...I haven't been having the best week...well couple of weeks...I have been pretty sick for about three weeks as the doctors have been changing my meds around and well other things...I am still feeling sick today as my insides still can't decide what to do...but today was still good...not quite sure why... I did get a great hair cut today which always makes me feel good...and I actually felt like spending time with my friends today when they came over so that was nice...It was also the first day in quite some time that I didn't nap at all today...and I even got up early...so that's kind of a big deal...feeling like I have some amount of energy is always a plus... I guess since I sort of mentioned that I have been pretty sick for about three weeks I should explain that a little more so that you really understand why today was so good...on the Monday I went in for my biopsy (the one that got moved back to Tuesday) almost 3 weeks ago