stories of a real life wonder woman

Since the end of 2014 is upon us I thought I would reflect on my year. At first I thought that it was maybe not my best year. But then I was updating the photos in one of my frames that a friend wrote one of my favorite verse on and I realized how good this year has truly been. Psalm 27:13 "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." With that in mind here is a bit of my year in review told through pictures because big things happened that are worth remembering. Such as counseling these girls with Anna!   And spending time with this precious little girl! Then there was the time I stood up again with one of my favorite couples  as they renewed theirs vows at this fun party!   (Photo taken by Jon Larson of Jon Larson Photography) Or Mom and Dad finding this house and it already looking so different! How could I forget about this! I finished school and got my diploma in the

Some updates on the week - Different people have been in and out of the house again this week taking out the old furnace, putting in plumbing, and wiring the place up along with Dad, Kenny, and Mike being there. Insulation is installed in part of the house so we are a step closer to the drywall going up. I have part of my current project at the society done and I got to see 25 binders go on the shelf that were scrapbooks from a town historian. I moved the scrapbooks into the binders since a lot of the folders and binders that they were in were ripped, moldy, and generally in a bad condition. It felt really good to see them with new covers and then go on a shelf. The plan is for this to be my last week of advice from a sick person but if anyone has questions I can post answers. Because I am forgetful I figured I would try do a recap of what I already posted about. First was finding a support group as we are not meant to go through life alone. That was followed by how the emotional sta

I haven't been feeling that great this week. Stomach pain and nausea are not my friend. Work still continues at the house as it gets wired and such before the walls go up. And that is pretty much all I've got by way of updates. I've got this weeks post and next weeks planned for the advice from a sick person blog posts. If I haven't answered questions you may have feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer. This week I want to talk about what might be described as how I personally dealt with things. As I have mentioned I am not the best at dealing with things. I feel like a lot of my life I have simply survived without processing what was happening and that has not been the best. But I will get to that. Something I had to constantly remind myself was that it was ok to be emotional. Sometimes all you can do is ride out the emotional days and let the tears come. I feel like this is something I still have to remind myself of because even though there are times

If you didn't read my last post please check it out. I am not often proud of my own work but I am proud of that one. I am excited to write to my donor family again. And this time I can write without worrying about anything being edited out by transplant/donor services. I am so looking forward to sharing more of myself with them and learning more about them from them. I will say that I am still very emotional about the whole thing. It does not escape my mind for one moment that Alex's death gave me life. Since getting the letter I find myself wanting to say Alex's name over and over again. In other news the roof is mostly shingled at the house and now work inside can move ahead full speed. We can start getting guys in the do plumbing, electricity, heating and more. We are getting there slowly but surely. Thanks again to everyone who came out this weekend and all the others times. We are only as far as we are on the work because of you. And now this week in the sort of se

I got a letter today from the donor family. It was a bit unexpected. I figured they weren't going to write to me. I thought I was opening some note about my next appointment or extra blood work Dr. Sader wanted me to do. Instead I got one of the best shocks of my life. And that letter sent me into librarian mode of trying to find the family since they want to talk to me. I big part of me wants to talk about everything that I found and yet another part of me wants to keep this to myself. Well my mom, my dad, and myself since they were there when I was searching. But I have this feeling that as I write I will want to write more. Here's what I know I want to say - His name was Alex. He was 25. He was brilliant and adventurous. And he was so well loved. And now he is enjoying the best party in Heaven with Jesus and I can't wait to meet him.  When I say that Alex was brilliant I feel like that is an understatement. Alex was easy to find because he was a big deal becau

Work on the house continues. I am not there as often as I am not sure that I will be of any help. But work continues in the cold. I don't really have any updates there except to say Kenny is hoping to get it all closed up with the roof finished in the near future. Then he can have better protection from the elements and some of the other things inside can be done. I did post briefly about Thanksgiving so if you want to check out that blog you can. Besides that I have been a little sick this week and that is no fun. I have become a big baby when sick so I get grouchy and that is no fun for anyone. Now back to advice from a sick person. I talked a little about phases/stages of being sick. This week I want to talk about the "why me?" phase. The why me phases is when you ask questions like - Why do bad things keep happening to me? Why am I sick? What did I do? Often followed by - I don't deserve this. This isn't fair. This can be a tough phase to be in and g

Thanksgiving is and has been for some time my favorite holiday. It's a day when eating carbs on carbs is expected and I love that. As you know, if you know me or read my blog, you also know how much I love parades and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is one of my favorites. And though TV shows and movies tend to make it seem like spending time with your family is the worst - I enjoy that I have family to celebrate with. Sometimes I have to remind myself I can't get too annoyed with them since they put up with how annoying I can be. Since I so often in the past have posted about all the bad days I thought it would be nice to have an extra post of celebration. (The regular scheduled program of advice from a sick person will continue again on Sunday.) So lets get the obvious out of the way first - I am thankful to be feeling better than ever. It's still a strange feeling to me to feel so good - strange in a good way. And I am and forever will be so thankful to the do

Work is slowly progressing on the house still. The work has been a bit slower recently because of the weather. Mom is praying that we can get the roof finished soon since it's Illinois and the weather is getting crazier. Also be praying for Mikey, Kenny, and Dad as they work at the house in some of this weather - they do stay at home when it's too cold but a lot of work needs to be done that they want to get done. This week in my advice about a life of sickness I wanted to talk about the stages/phases you go through emotionally while dealing with a life of sickness. Now I will say people who get sick later in life most likely experience these phases differently than I did because mine didn't occur when I got sick but as I grew up and began noticing the realities of my life. Now I don't know that I could name each phase or the order they will come in but they often resemble the stages of grieving. I tend to think this is because you may be grieving the loss of the

We've still been making progress on the house but it is a lot of work. Anyone will tell you that. So thank you to everyone who has been helping. We are so grateful that you are still coming out to help us even in the cold. We also love having Kenny back in town not just to help us with the house but because we love being with him. It's nice seeing my dad with his best friend. Now as promised some sort of words of wisdom for this week. (Side note - my notes for this keep growing so it should be a multiple week thing. Also feel free to ask questions whenever you have them.) First -  because I am known to come with my own personal disclaimer I do want to say I am no expert. I don't have a degree when it comes to anything medical or anything to do with counseling. I don't always have the right ideas or words. I have not always dealt with the things in my life in the best of ways. My coping mechanisms can be found lacking. I only know what has and hasn't worked for

This week I have been called "the best" a lot and I want to say thank you. I don't know what I am doing to be thought of so highly but I am grateful for your love. I am trying my best to take it all in and consciously notice how loved I am. Thank you for that love. Work on the house is still going on. Kenny is there most days during the day. This week he was working on the addition putting up walls. The house is almost ready for the new trusses which is super exciting. We are very thankful for all the help in getting the house to this point and for those praying for this whole process. I have been to the society again this week and I am still enjoying it. I knew I would but I had to build up some courage to go there at first. I find that I am often the cowardly lion constantly praying for courage. I try not to make it evident but quite a few things make me nervous. But like helping at the society most of them turn out great. The only other news I have is that I am t

Exciting new from this week - I have started volunteering at the Lee County Historical and Genealogical Society this week. Though I feel like I may not be the best person for this work I am loving it. I get to see the coolest stuff and they are so excited to have me. They have me on a pretty big project. I am in the process of trying to categorize the contents of three large boxes from an old town historian. I have come across pictures of buildings downtown being built, the arch being built and what it originally said, years worth of pictures of paper boys for the telegraph, pictures and descriptions of what used to be a sort of trading post, and so much more. And I haven't even really looked at what they already have at the society. It is an incredible opportunity for me and I am excited to learn from all the people that volunteer there.  This could also be a great experience and aid in me getting a job in the Public Library in the coming months. So be praying for me because I

Two days before BOND Gary sent me the two new songs we were going to do over the weekend. Though I gave him grief for that, I am often amazed at how the new songs we do fit my life and what I need to be reminded of. Sitting here listening to "Love is War" by Hillsong find myself captured by how true the words are not just with the words in my Bible but with the song of my heart. Here's a link to the super long acoustic video that you might need to look up the lyrics for - Singing/leading this song at camp was a highlight for me. As always spending time with my camp family was a highlight. As many of you know, possibly because you are part of this family, these people have helped hold me up in some of my toughest battles and I know they will continue to do so. I cannot help but feel how loved I am at camp by them and by the great God who gave me them. Another highlight was that my girls wanted to have lady lessons again and talked about how some of the things I

For the past couple weeks I have been watching a show called Red Band Society. This show has been getting a lot of acclaim and people have been talking about how realistic it is. Which makes me wonder if they have ever spent anytime at all in a hospital. All along I have had problems with this show and after this weeks episode I am done. While talking to my mom about my frustrations with the show she told me I should post about it to give a better picture of what hospital life is like since the show does not do it justice. And since I don't have anything else to post about I figured why not. Since the beginning of the show I have been annoyed that they show all patients walking around without IVs. If you aren't on an IV you really have no reason to be in the hospital. They hook you up to an IV for everything. Most of the characters on the show would actually be outpatients and would only be in the hospital for doctors appointments. Also patients with all kinds of dise

It has been another week of me not doing much. I stopped into the high school library a few days this week but they don't really need me. So I've just been chillin at home. Not doing a lot leaves me a lot of time to think about life - which is good and bad. It is easy for me to think about all the mistakes I have made in my life. And so I have to remember that 1) Those things are over and I cannot change them. 2) The other people involved probably don't remember what happened. And 3) To take every thought captive. Inactivity in my life leaves easy openings for the Devil to creep in and tell me I suck at life. And so I fight to remind myself that he is trying to play a crappy game with me. On the positive side of all this thinking about life I feel like recently I have been running into a lot of reason why I want to stay in this area for a job. I don't know that that will happen. But there are many things I enjoy about living here. The main one probably being that my

I'm gonna be honest. I have felt like my last few blog post have been punts. Sort of like a I have to write something but I have no idea to write - so I post the first thing that comes to mind. And I don't like that - but yet again this week I find myself clueless as what to post here. Which means I have to remind myself that it's ok to not have a lot to say. To not have any wise words or exciting adventures going on in life right now. Because I enjoy carrying on a quiet existence. Sure that doesn't always leave me with a lot to write about but I am at peace in my life. And that to me is more important than fancy words or crazy adventures. Now - though things have been pretty quiet around here, I also have not been feeling the best. Which means I have been keeping to myself more than normal. When I say that I have not been feeling the best this time around I mean I have been having a lot of headaches, nauseous every now and then, and have been dizzy usually

I guess I should start with a few little updates. I had a last minute Doctor's appointment with my GI this week because I have been having some nausea and discomfort after eating. Though it started as an everyday thing it has become less frequent which is nice but it is still no fun. I went in and my doctor is not really worried. He thinks it might be some sort of stomach bug that is going around but as a precaution he did have me do a gallbladder ultrasound. I am now thinking it could also be stress related since stress can cause a lot of stomach issues and I have been having some weird dreams that also point to me being stressed. Other than that it has been mostly a good week. I got to see some friends that I love spending time with. And we did get some work done on the house. I finished my quilt this week as well. I feel good about that since I said I wanted to have it done by BOND and I have it done before then. I cut most of the t-shirts for the quilt up around 4 years a

Ya'll I am at such a loss of what to write about this week. It's been such a great week - that I cannot deny. With all the work we have been doing on the house it's also been a tiring week. And I am spent. I enjoyed being able to do absolutely nothing on my birthday. And then going over to mom and dad's (the house they live in - not the project) for homemade pizza followed by watching The Fault in our Stars . I loved seeing Kenny on Saturday. Mom told me she had a surprise for me and though I didn't say it out loud I was hoping the surprise was that Kenny was coming. I loved laughing and getting loud with my family at Angelo's - though I'm not sure everyone else there loved it. :) I enjoyed being able to take pictures of people working on the house since I wasn't able to work as much. But I did work a bit - and I even enjoy how my muscles ache from doing that. I love that my quilt is a few steps away from being done. It will for sure be d

As I am sure you have seen from the photos on Facebook some major demos have begun on mom and dad's new house. I thought I would answer some already commonly asked questions - except where its at - I'm not posting that on my blog. Yes it is a small house. They plan to add onto the back and put the bedrooms and bathrooms there. They are opening up almost all of the original house. Yes the built ins are all going. I know they were pretty. We kind of thought they were a bit pretty too but they took up way to much space. Mom and dad want an open concept, giant built ins don't help with that. Also dad needs to be able to get everywhere to a wheel chair since you know he is missing a foot. Yes they bought a crappy house for cheap. They bought it because it comes with an acre and 1/3. It's pretty much all wooded and drops down to a gulley. It's sort of like having a park in our backyard even though it can be a little tough to explore because of the drop off. Yes

It's been a long but a good weekend. Around Tuesday I got sick with the cold and tried to deny it. But by Thursday I couldn't stop blowing my nose and there was no way around it. Which was unfortunate because that means I was sick during my sisters wedding - that I was in. Thursday was full of finishing stuff for the wedding followed by rehearsal and dinner followed by the bachelorette party. Friday was the wedding madness. Saturday was the brunch for opening the gifts followed by sleeping for three hours and missing the second wedding of the weekend. My cousin got married not far from where my sister's wedding was the night before. And today - Sunday - we went over to mom and dad's new house to clean it up a bit since the people the lived in it died over four years ago and the family was taking care of the estate. Which in this case means the house was still full of stuff. I am on my fourth day of blowing my nose all the time so it's redder than red and it

Sorry I'm posting a bit later in the day - we had a wedding shower to go to today for my sister and brother-in-law. If you want to hear about them - I will talk about Ashley and Spencer next week after they are married.  I've unsuccessfully tried to post about this next thing before so here we go again. I am thankful for my home church. I get that we need to make changes and that we are not perfect. Sometimes we do things that make no sense to me but I have always figured all churches and churchgoers will have times like that. But there are a lot of people in my church that support me and my family that I am so grateful for. People that I am proud to have in my life that I look up to for guidance and support possibly more than they think. And without naming names I want to share sort of what they've done and/or who they are in my life because I think everyone needs these kinds of people in their lives. People like my other grandparents who love me as if I was one of t

It been a bit of a quiet week. Not much going on at my place. One of the things I have been doing is finally working on my t-shirt quilt that I started in maybe high school - which is when I first cut up the shirts for it. I already have a lot done and I am telling myself that I want to have it done by BOND. I am looking forward to the hand sewing because I do enjoy that even though it will take some time. But I feel like if I post something on here then I will be more likely to get it done cause I want to be able to celebrate finishing that on here. As you know I have been searching for a job and I think others may be more anxious about it than me. See I only start to worry about a job when I am around other people who are asking me a ton of things. Otherwise I am looking during the week and not seeing anything I want. Mainly because I don't want to be in Chicago and I need a full time job with benefits. Also because I get that I just finished school and most people don'

So as I am sure you've heard Robin Williams died this week. I felt I had to post a quick something because my brother, sister, and I watched Mrs. Doubtfire a million times when we were growing up. So I thought I would post this cause it made me laugh and cry like Robin did. If you don't understand what Jimmy does at the end I highly recommend watching the movie Dead Poets Society. It is one of my favorite movies. It is a movie that constantly reminds me how much I love the English language and the written word. The first time I watched it was during my year of remembering that I actually enjoyed writing. This movie along with a certain teacher played a big role in me writing again. It does have some parts that are not suitable for children and it is one of around five movies that make me cry. So it is sad - which is a forewarning that I forgot to give to my brother Gar when we were watching the movie during our Robin Williams marathon. Anyway this little snippet here is m

Gosh ya'll I am so happy I am done - completely done - with my masters. All I have to do is wait for my diploma to come in the mail. It's a pretty great feeling to be done. And no I have not found a job yet. I am at the moment being very selective on purpose. I need a job that is full time with benefits and I am not moving out of town for anything less. Sure that limits me but I have to believe that God will provide. Also, I have to be patient. Patience has always been hard for me to learn. I have not mastered that fruit of the spirit. I've never been good at waiting.  Every now and then I write a blog titled Dear Future Self because I need to remind myself of truths I want to hold onto or ways I want to change cause sometimes I forget that growth takes time. As always I have to remind myself to expect good things. I start to get impatient, I doubt God's plan for me, and I forget all the good he has done for me. So I have to remind myself to wait because good things

First - I want to say that I am excited because I have one assignment and two classes left until I am done with my masters. So by Tuesday after 4 I will be done! Pretty exciting stuff. I am sure I will post a picture of my diploma when it comes in the mail. Though I am excited about being done I am also nervous about finding a job. I know there are jobs out there because the job lists I have looked at add around five jobs or more a day (just in the library field) and my friends in school with me are getting jobs. I just am a bit picky - like I don't want to be Chicago and I would kind of like to stay in IL so I can keep my doctor. That has been a bit nerve wracking for me. So if you think of it shoot up a prayer for me on my job search. My most recent dream in that department has been getting a job in a hospital library and being able to do different programs for the patients there - specifically a children's hospital because I understand how boring it can be to be in the hos

First I want to send a little shout out to my brother. My brother from the same womb. Cause today is his birthday. I used to tag along with him a lot and he tolerated it most of the time. I think all my time with my big brother while growing up is one of the reasons I have so many brothers today. And I am thankful that Mikey let me tag along and that he taught me some fun and useful things about being a sibling and a friend. On to other things. Last night was the celebration for Taylor and Cory's wedding that was a year ago. The original wedding was planned in less than a week and I loved it. And I loved yesterday as well. As we were getting ready to line up and hear from Rich what we had to do yesterday I found out that I was going to be standing next to Taylor. I was not expecting this. On the website and at the last ceremony there have always been people in front of me but her maid of honor couldn't make it and so I somewhere along the line I got the role. Which I was an

I always feel at a loss of what I am going to write about when getting back from camp. Not because I have nothing to write about but because I have too much to write about. Because God, as always, showed up in giant ways and I cannot contain his greatness or the things that he does in a few words. Nor can I tell all the stories about lives that were changed, hearts that were opened, wounds that are longing to be healed, or redemption being found. This week was a hard one for me personally. I usually go into camp knowing all my cabiners on some level, that was not the case this year. And then on Thursday the flood-gates opened and some of my cabiners revealed that they were dealing with some truly heartbreaking things. Things that have me still shaken to my core and hurting with them. Instead of ugly crying this year over my health, I ugly cried for the lives of my girls, for the trials of their young lives that are already weighing on them. And then there was the doubt that filled

Ok this Sunday I will be at camp so I am posting early. Be praying for us all. From what I hear we have quite a few first timers to RRBC this year and we hope that they have fun, make all kinds of new friends, and learn a lot. There are always things to be praying for with every camp and we really appreciate your prayers and support. As per usual - I have been getting a little nervous. It happens every year when I start to think I am under prepared and not any good at being a counselor. This year I have been reminding myself that if I was as bad as I sometimes think I am then the deans would not want me to keep coming back nor would they trust me to help train new senior camp counselors. Thinking about that has been very calming. It's nice to feel supported by the staff I am a part of and trusted by the deans. It's nice to feel wanted. As I have said before, I like me, or as Penelope says in the movie with her name as the title "I like myself the way I am." Bu

Look I know you all probably have things in your parades in other states that you think are the coolest things ever. But you will never convince me there there is anything cooler in a parade than either The South Shore Drill Team or The Jesse White Tumblers. I love when we get a taste of Chicago in the Petunia Fest Parade. Though I will say that those guys performing is not the only thing I like about parades. I like seeing people from the community that I know out supporting and advertising their cause/business/church and whatever else. And I love that in small town America we stand for almost every American flag that goes by and all the vets or currently serving military that we see. Which reminds me, one of my favorite parts of the day was seeing my brother at the head of his outfit holding their battalion's flag. Even though he can be such a pain he also makes me so proud. I guess that's part of what I love about parades. That the community can come out and come together

I have been feeling like a ball of nerves. I'm hitting that period before camp when I start to get really nervous and feel like I am not ready. I feel like my mind has been completely emptied of all knowledge I had at one time of what a counselor does at camp. This happens every summer around this time. Add on to those nerves the nerves I have been feeling about getting a job. I have been job hunting and haven't applied to many places yet because even with having my master's by the end of the summer I am feeling under qualified. And feeling like "what have I been doing with my life." Which I know to some of you sounds ridiculous because it's only been one year and ten days post transplant. Which also means I have only been off of dialysis that long as well. So I had a reason to not be doing much. And its not like I need a job by tomorrow but it does weigh on my mind. And though I know people mean well hearing others opinions about what I should and s

I forgot to mention last week that since it is summer my posts might be coming later in the day. Hopefully that will be because of days like today where I am out in the sun all day enjoying time with friends and family. On to other matters. This week I celebrated three anniversaries. One year post transplant on Thursday. Sixteen years post my first transplant today (Sunday). Twenty three years since first getting sick with what is known as HUS - Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome - celebrated today (Sunday).  It is fun to celebrate these days. To celebrate the extra life I have been given. To think about how I should have died years ago because of all the complications but instead I am live today. But it can also be bittersweet to celebrate. As I continually remembered this week as I did a year ago - someone else died. Someone else's family was left aching. While we were celebrating life another family was mourning death. That is always in the back of my mind. And celebrating

This will probably be a short post because I am not feeling good. I was supposed to go down to U of I yesterday for classes today and tomorrow but instead I have been feeling sick to my stomach and like I can't keep my eyes open. So I am at home trying to rest. So I don't have much to say. I am thankful that I don't feel this way all the time anymore. Being sick to my stomach yesterday and tired today made me wonder how I got anything done before when I felt like this all the time. Makes me wonder how I was able to finish so many classes. I know others used to wonder that too. It's odd looking back and seeing how in the right they were to wonder. Cause really who does homework from the ICU and while on dialysis. I got back from AZ on Friday. I did have fun with my family and it was a good trip. I got to spend a lot of time with my grandpa and I always enjoy that. I didn't get to spend as much time outside as I wanted but it was over 110 most of the time th

1st things 1st - When it's 100+ degrees outside I am a happy sunshine baby. I know most people want to be inside during this AZ summer heat but I adore it. I love feeling the heat and the sun on my skin. 2nd - I totally forgot to mention what happened at my doctors' appointments the last two weeks. Mom went with me to see Dr. Sader and joked afterwards that it is like I am so healthy he doesn't know what to do with me. And as some of my doctors have done in the past, he showed us a picture of his family at his oldest child's graduation from 8th grade. And I told him that part of me doesn't want to move from IL because I love having him as my doctor. And he started talking about jobs at the hospital library that I should apply for. I need to look into that more because I am not sure where to look but I think that would be so cool to work for OSF. Love that place! And then he took me off of two meds and told me to eat and drink more. Then at my 1 year post transplan

Sorry I am a little later than normal tonight. I have been out at the cabin again soaking up the sunshine and helping my sister with stuff for her wedding. First things first - I am going to AZ on Friday and will out of town because of that. So next weekend I will be posting possibly poolside. Then weekend after that I will be in Champaign-Urbana because of on campus days for my summer classes. Which means that weeks post might be later in the day too. So as you probably concluded from my mid-week post, I love Maya Angelou and was sadden to hear of her passing. But I have been glad to see so many beautiful post about her. She lived a life of honesty and integrity and I look up to her for that. She has, over the years, inspired me to write the truth with conviction. Thinking of that this week got me thinking about why I write my blog. See I often wonder if I should stop writing or if anyone even reads my blog. But even more than wondering if people are reading my blog I wonder i