stories of a real life wonder woman

I am warning you now. This might make some people who read this cry. I was thinking tonight that I might post a few videos. This first one I have seen a couple times in the last few days and I am so inspired by it. Strong women have always inspired me my whole life. This video inspires me to keep fighting and being brave, even if I still think Bing will never happen. I'm posting this next one just because I think the kidney story is cool. Think of how that third person felt when they got the call. I can imagine it and my heart leaps for joy for them.   And now comes the part that could bring tears. I came across this video on youtube the other day and well I cried. I learned so much from this man while he was here on Earth with us. His words of taking care of all God's children and flinging the seeds of love still ring in my ears. (For those of you who don't know who this is. This is Bill Waters. He was a dear friend who died in 2004. His

So Christmas at our house was pretty dang great. Mom, Dad, and I all got sick because Matthew and Jeremiah were sick but it still was an enjoyable day. Watching little kids open presents is a lot of fun. They get so easily excited about everything. After Jeremiah opened one of his presents he wanted to put it together but had to be reminded he still had more to open. Some of the best parts of the day for me had to do with those two crazy kids. If you haven't seen the family Christmas picture you are missing out. First when I was setting up the camera Jeremiah kept mooning me and the camera. So of course I have pictures of that. Then when we had the whole family in the picture we took 15 photos. Only three of them ended up being serious. The rest are all silly. Matthew's face in some of them are pretty great. He's a riot. I know this is the time of year when people begin to reflect on the previous year. I might post about that next week or during the week. I'm on big o

First I will say I am watching the original Sound of Music with Julie Andrews on TV right now so if things don't always make sense I can guarantee that it is because I am distracted by how lovely Julie Andrews is. I have been thinking about family a lot recently and not just because it is the holiday season. Though it did all start at Thanksgiving. We always celebrate Thanksgiving out at my Aunt and Uncle's house with as much of the family that can come. My cousin who lives in Chicago comes with his wife. In the past years she and I have both been sick and haven't really gotten a chance to talk to one another. This year both of us were feeling much better so we actually got to talk a little and I loved it. When she was talking to my mom I heard her talking about how with all her health problems she never thought she would get married. And then along came my cousin Chris. He took all her health problems in stride and acts like all the hospital visits and the meds and such

This semester is over for me and I am realizing how tired I really am. The last few days of the semester were no fun either. A lot of unnecessary drama and stress because of group projects. But I am glad it's over. I am that much closer to being done with school. I am already at the halfway point so that feels pretty dang good. I've been trying to rest and relax now that classes are done. I've not always the best at that but I have been sleeping a little better. for the past few days my nightmares haven't been as bad so that's nice. I went to my sister's church today. I have been wanting to spend more time with her. Some of the reactions from people were funny. We tend to get a lot of people thinking we were twins but that was not the case today. Either people knew me and were happy to see me or it took them some prompting to catch on to who I was. This one kid that is friends with both of us did say, "Why is Abby here?" since he knows I have my own

I thought maybe I would post some little known facts about me this week because some of these things go with some things that have been happening in the world. I tend of have a lot of bad dreams. I have a lot of dreams about death that I don't consider those bad because they end up being about who shows up to my funeral and mostly I wake up from those dreams thinking why was so in so there? Those are more confusing but definitely normal. My bad dreams usually have to do with me getting attacked and or murdered. There have been quite a few dreams that I have woken up from screaming or crying. You know how sometimes in books and movies characters do that? Well it happens in real life. And it is one of the reasons I have a hard time sleeping. I have this problem where for weeks at a time I will listen to one song on repeat all the time. And it sometimes drive my friends crazy. My current song on repeat is actually a song that my mom wanted me to download for her. It is more than w

Before I get into what I really want to talk about I have a few health updates. I have been off my acid blocker since Friday and it's killing me. Friday night and Saturday night I slept maybe two hours both nights. I am nauseous all the time and have bad acid re-flux at night. But I have to do this for a blood test Monday morning. My doctor wants to see if I produce too much acid. I'm no expert but with what I am feeling I would say yes. And dealing with it right now is no fun. Now on to other things.  Those of us who grew up in church know the verse Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithful, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law." Now I believe that when the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in us we automatically get those things. They are like a package deal because the Holy Spirit has those things. But because we are also human we tend to suck at putting those things into

A few quick fun facts about me: I love Thanksgiving especially the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I will go to New York and see it in person some day. I am the worst to watch a movie with or to take to the theater. I can't stop talking during movies. I don't often notice how much I am talking. It's a problem. I suck at human interaction. I have had a lot of practice with health issues. I understand that world to an extent. Relationships are a whole other story. I am utterly clueless and end up being an a-hole the majority of the time. As you can imagine I am looking forward to Thanksgiving. I am one of those people who wakes up early not to cook but to make sure I get to see the whole parade. Seriously I love every second of it. Even all the singers that lip sync the whole entire time. My sister and I used to judge how good people were at lip syncing during the parade. I mentioned the second thing because I went to see Catching Fire in theaters. I hardly ever go

At camp a couple years ago a friend of mine did that camp video for the year and he had some of the staff and camper record a little thing titled dear future self. Mostly it was things we wanted to remember. I thought maybe I should do another and although this one is longer, here it is. Dear Future Self, First, I want to restate what I said before, expect good things. It has become so easy to see the bad in life, so I urge you to see the good in all things. An innumerable number of good things has happened to you and will keep happening to you. Expect those things to happen. Expect God to blow your mind. Stop dwelling on the negative things people have said about you. They don't know you nor do they know what they are talking about. Don't let the devil use those words to tear you down. Instead remember the good things people have said about you. Those are the words of love that God want you to remember. Those are the words of love and encouragement that God has sent to y

I said quite some time ago that I would post a picture of my newest scar...and then I forgot...when I remembered I thought why not just do a post about my scars...I know people who have tattoos and show those off...but I don't have those instead my story is etched on my body in a different way...so here it is...and in some of them I tried to circle scars that I thought were hard to see but it may end up being easier to see them without my attempt at helping... So these first two are obviously of my stomach...the scar with the one by it is hard to see but that scar is over 20 inches long...it wraps around my left side...you can see the end of it in the picture below...that is from my first transplant from when I was 8...the scar with the 2 by it is from my most recent transplant...which as you can tell is much smaller and is still a little red because it's still healing...the three scars circled under my belly button in the bright blue are from dialysis when I was 21 mon

As many people know I moved out...which means my parents have an empty nest...but they have had an empty nest before when I lived in Arizona...and it's really no big deal to them...it seems like a lot of people think it's a big deal...they ask my parents what it's like having me moved out and they say quieter...and that's it...and they will tell people "this is what we raised our kids for, to move out and be on their own"...if we weren't out of the house I think they would be more upset...which in a way means as they have been raising us to move out they have been preparing themselves for the time when we wouldn't be there...which also means they still take the time for themselves and for each other...their world has never revolved around us...and I am thankful for that... A lot of people have also been asking me what it's like to have my own place...and I love it...I have been wanting this since I had to move back in with my parents...see I did

It would seem that people see that it says on facebook that I am married to Nicole...when I am really not...she's my best friend...we are both into dudes...a couple years ago Nicole left her facebook page open when some of our friends were around and they thought it would be funny to say we are married...and we went along with it...and we still play it up sometimes calling each other wife...but since people keep asking about it I am not married... With that said I awkwardly got some e-mails from Christian Mingle this week...made more awkward by the fact that I am not on Christian Mingle...not that Christian Mingle is bad...I have friends who have met their husband or wife on Christian Mingle and they are really happy...but when it comes to me and signing up for Christian Mingle...well...never would I ever...I feel like people who sign up for dating sites are really husband or wife hunting and that will never be me...I have never had a desire to get married or to be a wife...it

I didn't post sooner because I was feeling dead-ish...with moving into a new place last weekend and unpacking boxes during the week...then going to BOND this weekend...my body last night and today is all like "I know you are feeling better but calm down ya cray cray"...along with that I keep getting these massive headaches from my medicine (and yes I know the difference between a medicine headache and a normal one)... I also didn't post because I am not sure what to post about...I have a lot of ideas but nothing really stands out... First I should say...I love being in my own apartment...it's the best...I got internet and TV set up on Tuesday and even with all the problems with my heat (the heating guy came three times and my landlords wife came twice to try and get it to work...it works now) I really am enjoying having my own space...I missed this a lot...people keep asking me when I wanted to move out and I tend to tell them since I moved back in after getti

"But God will, He will finish what he started. No thread will be left unwoven. Nothing will be left undone. Every plan and every purpose that He has will be accomplished. And God will finish what's He's begun." ~Steven Curtis Chapman 'Finish What He Started' First I would just like to say I have been listening to Steven Curtis Chapman since I was really young...I love the truth that can be found in his lyrics...I feel like he writes these words that speak right to the very core of me and what I am dealing with... Second...I am moving into a new apartment this weekend so I probably won't be able to post my normal Sunday post...I most likely will not have internet until later during the week...so I am posting this now...because it's been on my mind... So on to what's been on my mind... I feel like I am relearning how to live...what I mean by that is I have spent so many years of my life with death as my next door neighbor that

I think honesty is always the best policy...but I have learned over the years that not everyone wants the truth or even wants your opinion...not knowing that has gotten me in trouble... The other thing that has gotten me in trouble in the past is that I have had a lot of friends who have said they like how honest I am...they like that I am not afraid to speak my mind...they wish they could be as honest as me...they like that I am blunt and don't beat around the bush when it comes to sharing what I think or know to be true...the problem has come when they have asked me for my opinion or my thoughts on something they are doing...they have asked me to be honest but then haven't liked the things that I have said... In other words my big mouth has ruined friendships... But there is really more behind it than that...because in more recent years I have waited for people to ask me what I think...I have agonized over how to say the things I want to...wanting to be gentle and lovin

I kind of suck at this being on campus thing after not doing it for so long...though in my defense at GCU the majority of my classes were like two buildings away from my apartment...I would wake up like ten minutes before class so I could pee grab something to eat and head out the door...but U of I is a bit bigger than GCU...and there are a crap ton of people... So far for my on campus days I have had one good one and one not so good one...on Thursday I had fun in class we went all over using cars to see different cool special collections and the mass storage so that was fun...Friday we walked all over campus basically to see rooms that had once been libraries...so that felt a bit pointless... The high light of all of this has been the time that I have gotten to send with two of my best friends...my brother Garrett and my bestie Nicole...Gar showed me around U of I a bit and I went to part of a bible study with him...then CRU Thursday night...I also went to watch him play soccer in

But then I forgot to write them down...so I guess I will be writing about something else... I do want to post a few pictures... I get to see one of my brothers in this picture this week because I have classes on campus at U of I...I am not looking forward to the classes but I am looking forward to seeing him...I get to see Garrett...the one on my right...and yes Lance is wearing a shirt with kitties on it...the story behind this picture is that we were all outside getting ready to go in for the banquet and the guys escort the girls...Lance was escorting someone inside and he said he would come back out and get me because he wanted to escort me...so I was the last one out there waiting...and then he and Garrett came out of the dining hall at the same time and then raced to me...all the while Lance was yelling at Garrett and I was cracking up...they fake fought and then they both escorted me and Lance pretended to be mad...and I felt loved...also this was the only like three weeks af

After my post last week a lot of people have been asking me how my birthday went...and it was really good... I spent the majority of the week doing nothing...when I started feeling bad about that or started making that mental to-do list...I told myself to knock it off because I need to learn how to rest...so I did...I ate a lot of food...watched quite a few movies...and enjoyed the fact that I am alive... On my actual birthday I felt well loved...I spent time with my family...a few of my friends called me which always makes em smile...my brother from the same womb did his normal text me early to wake me up and end the day by farting on me...wouldn't have it any other way... The majority of the week was easy going and fun...but I did still have a doctor's appointment I had to go to...and even though my doctor the week before didn't want to change my anti-rejection drugs...my other doctors did...so the one was increases...the one that makes me sick...so I have had diarr

I must not be that good at explaining things or new people have come into my family...either way I am going to say something again that I have said many times...a kidney transplant is a treatment not a cure for kidney failure...yes I feel better than I have in a long time...but I will still always be on meds and going to the doctors office for check ups...and just like everyone else I will still have bad days...I have had some bad days this week...I can go quite a while feeling good but then I have a day or two where I don't feel good at all... because my body is still recovering...we are almost 3 months out from transplant...and although I am being called a star patient I still have healing to do...which means there will continue to be days where I don't feel good...days where I am in pain...and as always days where I don't want to get out of bed...but that could just be because I have a super comfortable bed and I hate mornings... I just had an appointment in Peoria wit

Before I get to anything else I will say I have an appointment tomorrow to see my kidney doctor...I have been feeling ok for the most part...my meds have been making me sick occasionally but that's pretty normal for me...but I will be sharing that with my doctor and hopefully getting something fixed there...sometimes I think my body takes more of a beating from the meds than from being sick...but that's not really the truth since I would be dead without the meds...so I just have to deal with the side effects... Also before anything else...I want to thank everyone who commented on my picture I posted the other day...this one... You all know how to make a girl feel good...but let me say this...I don't want to be a model...I don't look good in everything I just don't buy or wear things I don't look good in...and I am glad I have finally become comfortable with my body because that was not always the case... I'm not really sure what I am supposed to wri

I can't seem to get my thoughts together this week to write a post... I keep writing...editing...deleting...rewriting...deleting again...editing some more...only to decide it is all crap and delete everything...I have deleted multiple post in their entirety thus far... The reason for all of that is because of something I have been dealing with a lot this week...and that's doubt... This week I have been thinking about how people tell me I'm a good writer...or that I have a life changing story to tell...or that God has incredible plans for me...but so much of me is doubting that... I'm feeling a little lost...and oh my gosh I have been crying a lot... It doesn't help that this week I started classes and well I am disappointed...last semester I passed with great grades and I barely tired...wrote papers at the last minute...didn't pay attention in class...the usual for me...and I hated it...I thought getting my master's was going to be a lot harder and

When I post about my week...and well I don't really know what to report...after my post on Tuesday my week had been pretty uneventful... I have been sleeping through the night and falling asleep easy...which hasn't happened in like five years...and I have been feeling really good again...so that's nice...what a difference a few little changes in my meds makes... I start online classes again tomorrow...not really looking forward to it since I didn't really like them last semester...but as I have said before I like the actual work so that makes up for the classes being boring... Mainly this week besides working I have been reading and writing...and I finally got back into a better routine of having quiet time...so that all has been great... I don't know about you but sometime I forget how much I love doing the things I feel I am gifted at...like writing...I have been writing what feels like non-stop this weekend...and I forgot how good it feels to create...

And this time I am not being sarcastic when I say that... Here's how my day played out... I left the house a little before 6 as per usual on a blood test day...so I can get to the hospital by or before 8 for blood test...I like to get there before 8 because after 8 it gets really busy and you have to wait like an hour...so I was sitting there waiting to get my blood drawn and had to run to the bathroom while waiting because my body decided today was the perfect day to have diarrhea...then after that unfortunate event I got my blood drawn and headed out to go to Target since I had about an hour and a half to kill before my appointment at ten... So I get to Target and look at pajama pants for mom because who doesn't love Target pajama pants...I picked out some and then started walking through the store because I was going to kill time there until 9 when a nearby book store opened...anyway I am walking around in there for maybe five minutes...and I am back in the back by the

I shouldn't have posted a blog earlier in the week...I used up my good ideas on it... So I have an appointment on Tuesday and I could use prayers for sure...I am thinking that because I seriously have been so out of it...sleeping my days away because I can't stay awake (mom said that I was maybe only awake for 4 hours Saturday)...I am planning on telling my doctor that I think I am over medicated on more than just my blood pressure medicine...since whenever I tell them how tired I am they say "I don't know what that's all about"...well I can tell you...I am a tiny little thing and all these meds are too much for my system...so I need courage to do that...I also I thinking I should tell them I am not leaving the office until they take me off some meds because I am not toughing it out for another week...which also requires courage...and well when I am at the doctor's office that is something I am lacking in...I get there and I start to think I shouldn'

First...Nicole went off to school...which stinks...and I miss her...but I am not going to do a special post all about her because I already talk about her a lot...and she knows how much she means to me and that's the important part... Second...I have still not been feeling that great...I called the doctor's office about it on Monday and when the nurse called me back after talking to Dr. Hsu she said that they have to wait for Dr. Sader because he's the one that knows what to do about meds...and he is out of the office all week...so just tough it out...which made me what to yell at them...I am so annoyed and frustrated...I want to know why I am seeing Dr. Hsu and not Dr. Sader if Hsu doesn't even know what to do with out him...and I have already been toughing it out for four weeks...ugh...but I didn't yell or anything because despite my frustrations I still really like my nurses and Dr. Hsu...and I really don't want to be a jerk or a difficult patient...so I

First I should say I keep having different problems...like not being able to stay awake after taking my morning meds (I'm not making this up...when I stay awake I start to feel like I am going to pass out...the other day I almost fell into my desk at home...can we say over medicated)...I've also been having some other problems that I have been bringing up to my nurses and doctors...but I am feeling like no one is listening to me...so that's always loads of fun...I am going to call them again tomorrow to talk to them...so pray for me that I would know what to say to get them to listen and that they would listen...I am kind of dreading calling because I am so frustrated already...and I don't want to be a moody jerk with them...I just want to be heard and fixed...because this is not normal...I'm pretty sure I only went into two days of work this week because the rest of the time I was either at the hospital for blood tests or a zombie who couldn't function...I seem