Sunday night

Before I get to anything else I will say I have an appointment tomorrow to see my kidney doctor...I have been feeling ok for the most part...my meds have been making me sick occasionally but that's pretty normal for me...but I will be sharing that with my doctor and hopefully getting something fixed there...sometimes I think my body takes more of a beating from the meds than from being sick...but that's not really the truth since I would be dead without the meds...so I just have to deal with the side effects...

Also before anything else...I want to thank everyone who commented on my picture I posted the other day...this one...


You all know how to make a girl feel good...but let me say this...I don't want to be a model...I don't look good in everything I just don't buy or wear things I don't look good in...and I am glad I have finally become comfortable with my body because that was not always the case...

I'm not really sure what I am supposed to write about tonight...I had a few ideas but as soon as I started writing them I started to feel like they were the wrong thing to post about...and not just in a this doesn't make sense why am I writing way...but almost like a feeling that I need to address something else...I try my best to let God guide my words on here...but just like in life sometimes it's hard to hear him...even when I am drawing close to him...

I don't know about you but more often than not I can be pretty deaf when it comes to hearing what God is trying to tell me...I get my own ideas of what I think I am learning (which tends to end up not being the lesson God is teaching me) or what I should be doing that I forget I should be resting in the presence of the Lord as he reveals things to me...

It's those things that I really want to share with you...which can be hard because as I mentioned I am not the best at hearing from or waiting on God...and it also means I be completely open and honest...but when I do that I am letting God lead instead of my emotions or opinions...sure emotions and opinions are in there...but so is God...he's present and takes the glory for what I say instead of my pride or hurt feelings...

But since I haven't been turning my ear to him like I should...or leaning into him to hear from him like I really want to hear what he has to say...this short nonsensical post will have to do for now...

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