stories of a real life wonder woman

Let's talk health first so I can get that out of the way...I have been feeling a little weird lately...the past two days when I stand up I feel dizzy and a little like I am going to black out...so that's no fun...I don't want what that's all about...mom is wondering if my hemoglobin is low since my eyes look dark....and I have dark circles around my eyes...so we will see how that all pans out I guess...I have to do a hemoglobin check this week so we will find out if it is that or not...I will not be happy if it is that because we thought we finally had this hemoglobin thing solved and I am on a higher dose of epo...I would be very frustrated and confused if it was my hemoglobin dropping rapidly... Even with that going on today I had a good day...people kept telling me how good I looked in my new dress which is always nice...and I had so much fun at my aunt and uncle's flying kites...I told my parents I should be a professional kite flyer...I'm not really that

I was driving to a praise and worship service thing tonight to hear my brother play...this is one of my brothers who plays drums...I seem to have a lot of those...maybe because I used to play drums and we all have the same type of temperament... I went to support him and hear him play...and let me just say he really is great on the drums...being in this band doesn't even really highlight his talent...and yet people still talk about how good he is...even if I practiced I still wouldn't be half the drummer that he is because he loves to play...you can see it in his movement and the way he gets lost in his own world when he is playing...he's one of those people who can play for hours and think only a few minutes has passed...which is a side note to what I want to talk about... Another side note is that I was talking to someone at this church that I met tonight and she told me who she was and that she was related to someone else in the band...and I naturally said that I was

I guess maybe I should say something about my doctor appointment before I get to far into this...there isn't much to tell though...he lowered my dry weight again because my blood pressure is still high and I am at the max on some of my blood pressure meds...and then he gave me a higher dose on my shot because my blood count has been low-ish recently...but the shot makes my bp go up...so that all doesn't make sense to me...and I am still on hold on the transplant list...maybe by the end of this month I'll be back active...that's frustrating...have I mentioned that I am horrible at waiting...right now I feel like I am waiting to wait...anyway I also told my doctor I have been feeling sick but they had no explanation for it...didn't know what to have me do besides call the GI doctor...I keep forgetting to do that...so that's my fault...but I just sort of feel like I am just going to have to deal with being sick...I should have that figured out by now...that a fact

Today is Wonder Woman's birthday and I thought it only appropriate to say a few words about her...(yes I'm that big of a nerd)... First off I have to say what I great early birthday present Wonder Woman got from MSN Nerdcore this past weekend by naming her sexiest comic book character...but I mean really...like there was ever any other choice or any doubt in anyone's mind about that... Now on to the other things I want to say about WW...I feel like I have learned a lot of life lessons from WW and I just want to acknowledge them and say thank you... She taught me at a young age that just because your girl doesn't mean you can't also be the hero of your own story...being a lady and a princess doesn't mean you have to sit around embroidering waiting for princes charming to save you from the tower...that's a lot of dang embroidering and sounds a bit boring...it's ok if you have other things to do...and it's ok if you want to fight.... Which lead

I keep hearing how I am part of these groups and that we are the so called "cool kids"...just to clear everything up...I don't try to exclude anyone nor do I try to be overly cool...I just do what I want and if that makes me cool then ok... Also know that if I am not talking to you it's most likely not because I don't like you...it's more because I am a lot more shy than people think I am...so many people seem to think I am this great people person...but I'm not...I feel like I never know what to say to people...so I just let them talk...and I am not usually the type of person to introduce myself to someone new...I get really uncomfortable with that... I know that sometimes on here I sound like I am great with words and shouldn't have a problem talking to anyone...but with my computer I can pretend I am typing up something that no one will ever read...and I don't have to see anyone's first reactions...I don't actually have to do any hum

I haven't been feeling the best this week...tired all the time but not really sleeping...back to the not falling asleep at night until maybe 1 in the morning...and then waking up a lot...recently it's been from bad dreams...which makes me not want to fall back asleep...and then I've been waking up early...like six...even when I don't have anything to do until later...I just love that kidney failure does that to you... And I have been sick to my stomach...usually in the morning after I take my meds...makes it so I don't want to eat breakfast...I think my body is just sick of all the chemicals I have to put in it to keep it alive and working...but drinking Sprite seems to help...so that's what I have been doing... Besides that I am ok...we have slowly been working on getting the house ready to sell so we can move to a one story house...we've lived in this house for over 20 years so we have a lot to sort through deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.

I tend to haphazardly make notes of things that I want to talk about in the future on this blog...but then sometimes I forget what those notes are about...or I am unsure of how to work them into a blog...so here are some of those thoughts... 1 - At my job one of the ladies I work with asks me a lot of questions about my health and dialysis and other things...and she is always saying "just tell me if I am being rude or too nosy"...and I often find myself telling her that I don't mind...because I really don't...I actually like it a lot when people ask me questions...I am never sure what to tell people about my health...but when people come to me with sincerity and ask me their questions I loved that...I know how to answer a lot of those questions...it always makes me feel to like you are taking the time to try to better understand my health situation...and that means a lot to me...so I actually wish more people would take the time to do that... 2 - When I had my s

Sometimes I get scared that I am going to run out of things to say and I won't be able to write anymore...and all my half written stories will stay half written stories that I never get published... But I am pretty sure today is not the day that I am going to run out of things to say... Also sorry that this is late...we got back to the hotel late-ish Sunday night...but it was worth it because we had a big family dinner at cheesecake factory... So I guess first I should tell you that I did retain a lot of fluid like I thought I would (almost 8 pounds worth)...which means I started to feel really gross today and got grouchy/moody...my stomach was the worst...feel sick to my stomach almost all day today just from needing dialysis...it made me not want to eat...but I am getting really hungry now after being on dialysis for about 3 hours...I still have an hour to go...that's about the only health thing to report... I did have a really great time though...Nicole kept telling

On Friday I'm heading to Arizona for the weekend with my bestie Nicole for a much needed vacation...this means that if I do my normal weekend post it will be from Arizona and might be a bit later since they will soon be two hours behind Illinois time..I'm excited and nervous all at the same time... I'm excited for many reasons...I'm going to get to spend some time with Nicole which will be great since we  haven't been able to see each other much recently...I'm excited to spend some time with our brother Danny...I'm excited to show Nicole some different things in Arizona like the mountains (that we will be driving past not climbing) or my school...and have her meet more of my family...I'm excited to be going to Arizona since I miss it and because after all these snow storms my body is craving the heat... I'm nervous too though...I'm nervous that my favorite places won't live up to the hype I've given them and Nicole will be disappointe

I'm having one of those days when everything I think to write about sounds dumb to me... So I guess I will start out with saying that the past few days after my surgery I haven't been feeling the best...I was feeling good earlier today...but as the day has gone on I have been feeling worse and worse...no abdominal pain today...just sick to my stomach...which is a step up from where I have been...so even though it sounds bad...it's actually good... But I don't really want to talk about how I have been feeling because that's kind of depressing...and I get tired of talking about depressing things... But I have tried to write this post about three different times now...and every time I start crying and it ends up being a bit sad...so I guess it's going in that direction anyway... The thing is I am still learning how to handle my life being messy and how to trust God through my mess of a life with this jacked up body...and that's a bit of a downer...not t

I had to go to Peoria yesterday...when I went in December to get part of the mass in my stomach removed Dr. Al-Rashdan said he would have me come back in about a month to get the rest removed...so I called a few days after the first surgery and scheduled another one...then I was told by Dr. Sader who saw Rashdan in the hall at the hospital that they were just going in to look and see how my stomach was doing...and that's what Rashdan's office said too...so I thought yesterday I was going in for a scope with maybe a biopsy... But then when I got there surprise of surprises it was a surgery...and I was pretty happy about that because we needed to get this thing taken care of before we can do anything transplant wise...so he took 90% out of what was left which means I only have about 1% of the original mass/polyp in my stomach...which makes me happy...but since it was closer to the lining on my stomach this time...and I didn't throw up any blood last night to get the blood f