Arizona for the Weekend

On Friday I'm heading to Arizona for the weekend with my bestie Nicole for a much needed vacation...this means that if I do my normal weekend post it will be from Arizona and might be a bit later since they will soon be two hours behind Illinois time..I'm excited and nervous all at the same time...

I'm excited for many reasons...I'm going to get to spend some time with Nicole which will be great since we  haven't been able to see each other much recently...I'm excited to spend some time with our brother Danny...I'm excited to show Nicole some different things in Arizona like the mountains (that we will be driving past not climbing) or my school...and have her meet more of my family...I'm excited to be going to Arizona since I miss it and because after all these snow storms my body is craving the heat...

I'm nervous too though...I'm nervous that my favorite places won't live up to the hype I've given them and Nicole will be disappointed...I'm nervous that it won't be warm enough for us to lay at the pool...mostly I'm nervous about going three days without dialysis...I'm nervous that I will feel too sick by the end of the trip to want to do anything and that will be disappointing for both me and Nicole...

I am already thinking about how I do want to do a few thing besides lay around but wonder what that will do about the fluid that likes to collect around my ankles...and the food I should and shouldn't eat to help that not to get too bad...

I want to go and be able to enjoy myself without thinking about these things but I can't afford not to...thinking about these types of things are what keep me alive everyday...which kind of stinks sometimes...it's like I never really get a vacation because I still have to think about all my health stuff...

Maybe we will have to go on vacation again after I have a transplant so I don't have to worry about dialysis or extra toxic fluid on my body...

Maybe I'll start dreaming now of where we will go next...

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