stories of a real life wonder woman

Hey there, It's been a while. I thought about writing more than a few times about soaking up summer sun about fear about who our real enemy is (not each other) but then I would decide to spend more of my day relaxing or working in my yard or whatever instead of writing. But I have been thinking recently I should write again about illness in particular write about how even when I look healthy my body is still sick. Even when I look healthy my body still would not function without the carefully monitored concoction of medications that I ingest twice a day. Say I miss one dose - I will be ok but I will feel the side effects. If I miss a full day I will feel like shit. If I miss two or three days of those pills then a hospital stay is likely. I just say that to try to make it fully known how sick my body is. And the importance of those medications. Even though they make it so things like a common cold knock me out for days they also keep me alive. And any change of dosage wrecks

My mom mentioned this weekend that every morning when she gets into work and gets her computer going she plays this version of this song. Every morning - and the students that walk into the office in the morning hear this. I love that this song because of all that has come our way has become an anthem for my mom. This has been a bit of a stressful, nerve-wrecking week for her and many others. But from what I have seen and heard so far the people of my hometown continues to choose love and to stand strong together. And I just gotta say that makes me pretty dang proud. Another thing that makes me proud is that I got to celebrate some of the people that I deeply love with some of my favorite people. Friday we celebrated mom's birthday with a group of friends that we also celebrated with on Saturday when that bunch plus more went to a wedding. One of my camp brothers got married and gosh it fills my heart with such joy to see my brothers happy and loving and living for Jesus. My h

Hey there, So it's been a bit longer between posts recently and today I thought "Why not post this week?" So here we are. This past month my mom has been posting on facebook different things about dealing with kidney disease. It's been at times a painful walk down memory lane but I think also a good eye opener for people (even those who have known us for years) that I still deal with my health issues on a daily basis even if I am not in the hospital right now. Some cool things have come from her posts and I am glad she can advocate for not just me but others dealing with kidney failure issues. Also it's always great to hear your mom say good things about you. Last week while my mom was posting she was actually at my house part of the time during her spring break. Basically she's the best on many levels. Not only does she encourage me from afar and speak words of life on social media but she also takes time to come see me and take care of me and my house.

Hey guys, So last Sunday I was worn out and thought "Whatever I can post later." Then Friday I thought "Whoops, I completely forgot to post at all." Ha! That happens sometimes. What also happens sometimes is me not knowing at all what to post about. I have been trying to think of things to post about that pertain to my health. Things that I deal with regularly that I don't really think about but that not everyone has to deal with. Sometimes though I can't think of anything. I think in part because sometimes I am so used to thinking about those things that I forget others don't. Things like watching how much time I spend in the sun because I am more susceptible to skin cancer because of the meds that are keeping me alive. Though lately that hasn't been something I have to think about because of the grey end of winter days. I am coming to terms with the fact that it's ok that I might not always have anything much to share in this setting but

Hey, So last Sunday I couldn't think of anything to write. Then during the week all I could think to write was that Tuesday's change of weather here was fantastic for my spirit. Nothing lifts the cloud of depression that hangs over you in the gloominess of winter like the first day of bright blue, sunny skies reminding you that spring is coming. I didn't feel like that was enough for one post so I decided to just skip for the week. This week's post is a little early because I have been trying to think of things related to my health to post about that I don't talk about. But I've been having a hard time thinking of things. During the week I thought I could post about how because of everything my body has under gone I am in constant pain. And how sometimes that drains the life out of me and other times I can get busy and mostly ignore it. But constant pain from your body being put through a lot of surgeries, even more medicine, and stress beyond belief is not

Hi there, I got to see my parents today and that makes me so happy. I mean I am a little sad now that they are gone. But I know that being here and making this place home is the right thing. And I know I live close enough that they can come down for the day and that is huge. But it is still hard sometimes to not live just down the street from them. Still hard to say goodbye even after spending most of the day laughing with them. This week I have been thinking a lot about redemption and forgiveness. When I look at the world I see a lot of people upset and demanding justice. Now justice is not a bad thing but recently I have noticed that some groups in their quest for justice have been digging up the past even at times when amends have already been made. And I think, "What about forgiveness?" Then I think about how I have been guilty of this as well. Thinking that whoever has wronged me should get what I think they deserve then somehow things will be right. But I have a

Hey there, I'm not going to say it was great and that my body loved it but I shoveled something like 6 times this week. That's a pretty big accomplishment. My body hated that but I did it. And still managed to do things like go to work. Which is also a big deal. And being able to see that I can do that is a pretty big confidence booster. I mean my body is hurting a lot more than normal right now. And it hurt even more during the week to the point where I was having trouble sleeping - my regular sick body pain plus major physical activity pain is not a fun combo. But I still accomplished that. Since I am trying hard to focus on the positives I would say shoveling and not missing work because of the pain I was in is a big deal. This week something happened that has happened in the past and it always takes me back a little but mostly it makes me think. What happened was that I had sighed and a friend at work said something like, "What's up?" Since I wasn't fe

Hey there, I don't have much to say this week but thought I should post something. I feel better today than I have in at least two weeks. Yesterday I ended up taking most of the day off because I felt disgusting and eating made it worse. I had been dealing with nausea for over two weeks and after that amount of time I wanted to throw in the towel. So for the day I did. And then last night around nine I remembered how one of my GI doctors said that the stomach med I am on again doesn't play well with others meaning that it can make things worse unless you take it at least 10 minutes before you take any of your other meds. So this morning I did that. I took my stomach med and it calmed down the little bit of nausea that I had and then I waited about half an hour and took my other meds and I was fine. I was even able to eat some breakfast which I have not been able to do for over two weeks. How I feel today verse how I have felt the past two weeks is almost a complete turn

Hey there, So last week I mentioned that I had been feeling sick to my stomach. I did call my kidney doctor's office and the gist of what they said was "your blood work looks good so call the GI office." And I did and because of my transplants that make my health history complicated they got me an appointment to see the doctor the next day. After telling him what was going on and him looking at my blood work he decided to put me back on a lower dosage of the stomach med I had been on before. He did this because of my health history which makes sense. Basically even though I have had a transplant and that helps some things my body still produces too much acid. And too much acid means things like nausea so that's always fun. Anyway I am now getting used to that adjustment to my medicine regimen. In other news this week on This Old House - I am learning a freaking lot. My joke has been "Today on This Old House another thing I have no idea how to fix." But i

Hey, So one of the many joys of being sick for 26 years is that my body sometimes does things that super suck. For example for the last few days I have been sick to my stomach at times to the point where I think I might actually throw up. This is kind of a big deal because normally I can tell if what it feels like is going on in my gut is going to come up or not - 99% of the time not. And I have at times willed myself to not throw up. So feeling like this has been zero fun. I haven't had any other symptoms of anything which is also fun - not. When this happens it is very easy for my mind to run crazy down extreme paths thinking maybe I am sick with some crazy virus I have gotten before and had to be hospitalized for or think it is something bigger like rejection. Again no other symptoms. But my mind does these things and I have to constantly tell it to stop. When worry and fear are so ingrained in your mind getting those thoughts to stop is often a constant second by second battl

Hey there, This weekend we celebrated Christmas for the second time. My oldest nephews came back from visiting their mom so we had a Christmas celebration with them. Nothing quite brings me the same joy as being an aunt. Gosh I love those little people - the spirits they have and the men they are growing into. Before we celebrated Christmas my one nephew had a swim meet. It was so cute to watch those little kids in the pool. And my nephew was cracking me up after each time he swam. He would come over to my brother (his dad) and tell him how he did. One time he said "I dropped five seconds. (Meaning he swam 5 seconds faster than the last time he did that race.) I'm not satisfied. I can do better than that." Ha. I guess he has only competed in a few meets - maybe a handful - so any improvement is great. But he in that moment wasn't feeling that way about it. While he competed his older brother was watching with us. It was fun to joke with him again. As his parents h

Hey there, So I haven't posted yet this week because I haven't been feeling great so I have been relaxing and just focusing on that. When I went to see the doctor before the new year my doctor increased the dosage of one of my immune-suppressing drugs. I go to see the doctor every four months just for check ups and he has been increasing that medicine pretty consistently because my blood levels (which are checked at least once a month) are showing too low on that level. I am glad he is checking those so closely and trying to make sure I am the healthiest I can be. The downside to that is that often dosage changes even in medications you have been on for long periods of time can still cause your body to react and feel the side effects as if you were just starting it. That has been me the last week. Pretty much every side effect of this medicine I have been feeling often at various points of the day. That is one of the main ways I know when it is medications and not getting s

Hey All, Happy New Year! So far my new year has been spent working on my homeowner skills. My furnace has been doing some weird things. I still have heat I just have had some problems with the furnace motor running without kicking out heat and with it getting the house up to the temp a have the thermostat set too. And of course that makes me worry. Then when the guy came to look at the furnace is was acting fine just a little slow. So he didn't actually get to experience the problem but since it is an old furnace and he has worked with this type before he was able to say what he could be. The part I need would be over $400 and since it is an old furnace he recommended looking into new ones. Since I am still under home warranty (that the previous homeowner had on the house) that means I could get that all done. I just need to talk to the home warranty company. Unfortunately they were not much help today since it is a holiday and is freezing cold out. The tech they normally