How I Tried to Deal
I haven't been feeling that great this week. Stomach pain and nausea are not my friend. Work still continues at the house as it gets wired and such before the walls go up. And that is pretty much all I've got by way of updates.
I've got this weeks post and next weeks planned for the advice from a sick person blog posts. If I haven't answered questions you may have feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer.
This week I want to talk about what might be described as how I personally dealt with things. As I have mentioned I am not the best at dealing with things. I feel like a lot of my life I have simply survived without processing what was happening and that has not been the best. But I will get to that.
Something I had to constantly remind myself was that it was ok to be emotional. Sometimes all you can do is ride out the emotional days and let the tears come. I feel like this is something I still have to remind myself of because even though there are times when I can't seem to stop crying, I don't like crying. I have had a lot of time to learn this lesson throughout my life because there have been a lot of days where it felt like all I did was cry.
I have also found that for me it helps to be open about what is going on in life. I think that openness is key in all of life. The people that care about you will appreciate your openness. When you openly speak about the struggles you are going through people know how to help you and can effectively pray for you. I also found that what I spoke about was something I could control when there was nothing else I could control. Living in lies is never healthy or helpful.
Since I mentioned prayer I would say this - pray, pray, and pray some more. I did not always get an answer but knowing God is listening is a powerful thing.
Oftentimes I also had to remember that my life is not mine. My time of death is not my choice but the choice of my father, God. So I will endure on Earth through sufferings if that is the call he has for me and my life. And I continually have to come to terms with that. That's another one of those things that I need to be reminded of.
As I stated a couple months ago something important to do is seek help and don't be ashamed too. When you need it or want it seek it out. I didn't become part of a support group but I had help from incredible people around me and my family who did what they knew how to do to encourage us. Their role was so important to me being here today.
Now since I didn't handle things the best I did experience some PTSD type symptoms. Pushing through everyday despite whatever is going on can cause some leftover trauma because life can be traumatic. That led to a lot of crying which lead to remembering that being emotional is not bad it's human. I had to learn not to fight the emotions but let myself cry or be angry when those waves of emotion came. Every time I tried to fight the emotions they got worse.
Though I don't cry like I did I will say I still have some lingering fear and worry. Like when my blood pressure is high or I have bad headaches or when my eyes don't adjust to the lights being off I start to worry again about seizures. I have to remind myself that those things were an everyday thing for months before I had the seizures. Along with that, I still have horrible nightmares that wake me up in a panic. And I know that it is hard for some members of my family to hear helicopters over head because that sound brings with it bad memories.
I can't say if those things will ever go away. Living life with all it's challenges is hard. But that doesn't mean we should stop living.
Sometimes we just need to find some time to regroup before heading back into battle.
I've got this weeks post and next weeks planned for the advice from a sick person blog posts. If I haven't answered questions you may have feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer.
This week I want to talk about what might be described as how I personally dealt with things. As I have mentioned I am not the best at dealing with things. I feel like a lot of my life I have simply survived without processing what was happening and that has not been the best. But I will get to that.
Something I had to constantly remind myself was that it was ok to be emotional. Sometimes all you can do is ride out the emotional days and let the tears come. I feel like this is something I still have to remind myself of because even though there are times when I can't seem to stop crying, I don't like crying. I have had a lot of time to learn this lesson throughout my life because there have been a lot of days where it felt like all I did was cry.
I have also found that for me it helps to be open about what is going on in life. I think that openness is key in all of life. The people that care about you will appreciate your openness. When you openly speak about the struggles you are going through people know how to help you and can effectively pray for you. I also found that what I spoke about was something I could control when there was nothing else I could control. Living in lies is never healthy or helpful.
Since I mentioned prayer I would say this - pray, pray, and pray some more. I did not always get an answer but knowing God is listening is a powerful thing.
Oftentimes I also had to remember that my life is not mine. My time of death is not my choice but the choice of my father, God. So I will endure on Earth through sufferings if that is the call he has for me and my life. And I continually have to come to terms with that. That's another one of those things that I need to be reminded of.
As I stated a couple months ago something important to do is seek help and don't be ashamed too. When you need it or want it seek it out. I didn't become part of a support group but I had help from incredible people around me and my family who did what they knew how to do to encourage us. Their role was so important to me being here today.
Now since I didn't handle things the best I did experience some PTSD type symptoms. Pushing through everyday despite whatever is going on can cause some leftover trauma because life can be traumatic. That led to a lot of crying which lead to remembering that being emotional is not bad it's human. I had to learn not to fight the emotions but let myself cry or be angry when those waves of emotion came. Every time I tried to fight the emotions they got worse.
Though I don't cry like I did I will say I still have some lingering fear and worry. Like when my blood pressure is high or I have bad headaches or when my eyes don't adjust to the lights being off I start to worry again about seizures. I have to remind myself that those things were an everyday thing for months before I had the seizures. Along with that, I still have horrible nightmares that wake me up in a panic. And I know that it is hard for some members of my family to hear helicopters over head because that sound brings with it bad memories.
I can't say if those things will ever go away. Living life with all it's challenges is hard. But that doesn't mean we should stop living.
Sometimes we just need to find some time to regroup before heading back into battle.
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