Nerves
I have been feeling like a ball of nerves.
I'm hitting that period before camp when I start to get really nervous and feel like I am not ready. I feel like my mind has been completely emptied of all knowledge I had at one time of what a counselor does at camp. This happens every summer around this time.
Add on to those nerves the nerves I have been feeling about getting a job. I have been job hunting and haven't applied to many places yet because even with having my master's by the end of the summer I am feeling under qualified. And feeling like "what have I been doing with my life."
Which I know to some of you sounds ridiculous because it's only been one year and ten days post transplant. Which also means I have only been off of dialysis that long as well. So I had a reason to not be doing much.
And its not like I need a job by tomorrow but it does weigh on my mind.
And though I know people mean well hearing others opinions about what I should and shouldn't do can be difficult.
So here's what I propose - If you want me to stay in the area pray that something would open up that I would be perfect for that would meet my needs. Also I know you mean well when you say that you want me to stay here. It does make me feel loved so thank you for that.
Also pray that I would be able to find something in IL so I can keep my doctor since I have been getting anxious about that.
Pray that I would be able to find something that I qualify for with my lack of experience. I have been volunteering in the public high school library but I would have to get another degree to work in the public schools of IL.
But above all pray that I would be calm and sure of myself. I have been lacking in that department lately.
And pray for camp and the campers. We are always grateful for the prayers for us coming from our home churches.
I'm hitting that period before camp when I start to get really nervous and feel like I am not ready. I feel like my mind has been completely emptied of all knowledge I had at one time of what a counselor does at camp. This happens every summer around this time.
Add on to those nerves the nerves I have been feeling about getting a job. I have been job hunting and haven't applied to many places yet because even with having my master's by the end of the summer I am feeling under qualified. And feeling like "what have I been doing with my life."
Which I know to some of you sounds ridiculous because it's only been one year and ten days post transplant. Which also means I have only been off of dialysis that long as well. So I had a reason to not be doing much.
And its not like I need a job by tomorrow but it does weigh on my mind.
And though I know people mean well hearing others opinions about what I should and shouldn't do can be difficult.
So here's what I propose - If you want me to stay in the area pray that something would open up that I would be perfect for that would meet my needs. Also I know you mean well when you say that you want me to stay here. It does make me feel loved so thank you for that.
Also pray that I would be able to find something in IL so I can keep my doctor since I have been getting anxious about that.
Pray that I would be able to find something that I qualify for with my lack of experience. I have been volunteering in the public high school library but I would have to get another degree to work in the public schools of IL.
But above all pray that I would be calm and sure of myself. I have been lacking in that department lately.
And pray for camp and the campers. We are always grateful for the prayers for us coming from our home churches.
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