Librarian
Three year appointment on Friday went well. I took the whole day off for it since it was in the middle of the day and I usually have to wait a long time at that office. I did not have to wait as long Friday which was nice and everything went well. I met another new doctor and liked this one a lot. He said something like "I can't believe I am meeting you just to say goodbye" since three years is the last follow up I have to do in that office. And then later he said "I don't want to see you again. I hope you know what I mean" and I did. The only way they would see me in that office again was if I was to the point of needing a transplant again. So that was all good nothing really to report.
Then I got to relax the rest of the day which was much needed because I have been stressing out and getting frustrated again. Maybe one day I won't be so hard on myself but today is not that day. And even though I really do like my church I have still being feeling like "what am I doing in this town?" But I think that comes along with being frustrated - at least for me.
I had some visitors this week. Mom and Annette stopped by on Wednesday and stayed the night. They also got to talk to one of the guys from my church because we ran into him at the store. And then today Krystle and Carter went to church with me and then Mom, Dad, and my dad's best friend, Kenny, stopped by on their way back home. It was nice to see everyone today and this week but I am still not good at goodbyes. And I still cry sometimes after them.
This week because I have been so frustrated yet again I have needed encouragement again but I feel weird asking for it. Thankfully God knows when I need that because on the day when I thought about going in and talking to my boss to tell her that I felt like "What am I even doing? Am I helpful at all?" she and our librarian ended up saying to me without any prompting "What would we do without you?" That felt really good to hear.
Plus it has been good to hear people at my church here say "Oh my gosh I have young kids so we love the library." or "I home school so we are at the library all the time." when I tell them I work in the library. It feels good to be a part of that. To be a part of something that brings so much joy to people. That I am part of something that people love and have fond memories of.
Sometimes I make light of that and forget how important that is. I tend to think I don't do anything important at my job. I forget that I am part of something and some place where people can escape and go on adventures or find the information they are looking for to try to understand their world or feel excepted and safe.
And in this crazy, scary, harsh world that is important.
Then I got to relax the rest of the day which was much needed because I have been stressing out and getting frustrated again. Maybe one day I won't be so hard on myself but today is not that day. And even though I really do like my church I have still being feeling like "what am I doing in this town?" But I think that comes along with being frustrated - at least for me.
I had some visitors this week. Mom and Annette stopped by on Wednesday and stayed the night. They also got to talk to one of the guys from my church because we ran into him at the store. And then today Krystle and Carter went to church with me and then Mom, Dad, and my dad's best friend, Kenny, stopped by on their way back home. It was nice to see everyone today and this week but I am still not good at goodbyes. And I still cry sometimes after them.
This week because I have been so frustrated yet again I have needed encouragement again but I feel weird asking for it. Thankfully God knows when I need that because on the day when I thought about going in and talking to my boss to tell her that I felt like "What am I even doing? Am I helpful at all?" she and our librarian ended up saying to me without any prompting "What would we do without you?" That felt really good to hear.
Plus it has been good to hear people at my church here say "Oh my gosh I have young kids so we love the library." or "I home school so we are at the library all the time." when I tell them I work in the library. It feels good to be a part of that. To be a part of something that brings so much joy to people. That I am part of something that people love and have fond memories of.
Sometimes I make light of that and forget how important that is. I tend to think I don't do anything important at my job. I forget that I am part of something and some place where people can escape and go on adventures or find the information they are looking for to try to understand their world or feel excepted and safe.
And in this crazy, scary, harsh world that is important.
Comments
Post a Comment