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I have no idea what to write today. You would think that after a few weeks off I would have a lot to write but instead I don't really have anything.
I have been staring at this open page for about 30 minutes trying to think of what to write or how to describe what has been happening. So far I really have nothing.
I guess I could start with health since talking about that has become easy since it is such a large part of my life. I am ok-ish health wise. Lately I have been sick to my stomach most of the time. It has been over a year since my last scope. Since I have to go yearly to get polyps cut out that obstruct the opening to my intestines going a little longer than a year has cause some sickness. I say some but some days it feel unmanageable. I had to take a day off of work recently because of feeling so sick to my stomach. So that is a bit depressing. I do have an appointment for a scope in a little less than a week so that's a positive I am trying to focus on. Other than that I am feeling fine.
I have been back and forth to mom and dad's house a lot recently. I like being back at their place and back in my hometown but leaving has yet to get easier. Actually it has probably gotten harder. I tend to spend a lot of the drive crying. And then a lot of time back at my house afterwards crying.
As I have said before I love my job and tomorrow I won't be so emotional cause I will be at a job where I have things to do and where I am valued.
I have always enjoyed time alone and needed time alone but there comes a point when having too much time alone can be suffocating. It becomes immensely easy to see only to negatives as any positives are clouded by an isolating loneliness.
Leaving mom and dad's and knowing that I am heading back into that battle can be frustrating and frightening.
Pray for me that I would know where to go and what to do when I am here so that I can make friends that are strong in the faith and who I can be in fellowship with here.
I have been staring at this open page for about 30 minutes trying to think of what to write or how to describe what has been happening. So far I really have nothing.
I guess I could start with health since talking about that has become easy since it is such a large part of my life. I am ok-ish health wise. Lately I have been sick to my stomach most of the time. It has been over a year since my last scope. Since I have to go yearly to get polyps cut out that obstruct the opening to my intestines going a little longer than a year has cause some sickness. I say some but some days it feel unmanageable. I had to take a day off of work recently because of feeling so sick to my stomach. So that is a bit depressing. I do have an appointment for a scope in a little less than a week so that's a positive I am trying to focus on. Other than that I am feeling fine.
I have been back and forth to mom and dad's house a lot recently. I like being back at their place and back in my hometown but leaving has yet to get easier. Actually it has probably gotten harder. I tend to spend a lot of the drive crying. And then a lot of time back at my house afterwards crying.
As I have said before I love my job and tomorrow I won't be so emotional cause I will be at a job where I have things to do and where I am valued.
I have always enjoyed time alone and needed time alone but there comes a point when having too much time alone can be suffocating. It becomes immensely easy to see only to negatives as any positives are clouded by an isolating loneliness.
Leaving mom and dad's and knowing that I am heading back into that battle can be frustrating and frightening.
Pray for me that I would know where to go and what to do when I am here so that I can make friends that are strong in the faith and who I can be in fellowship with here.
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