stories of a real life wonder woman

One of the first things I saw this morning was this -  First I think it's still really cool that my mom said this because she is the one who had to stick me which in my book makes her pretty tough.  Second I am glad that she encourages me and acknowledges this stuff for me because I often do not.  This also plays into some things I want to talk about.  I was at mom and dad's this weekend and some of the things we talked about made me think I need to post about that. One of those things is organ donation. We often find that there is a misconception about how you actually "sign up" for organ donation. Yes you mark the box on the back of your license or say "yes" at the DMV BUT that is not all you do. You also have to talk to your family about your wishes. When you die the doctors and nurses will be looking to your family to make the decision about what to do with you. They legally cannot do anything without your famly's consent...

What to say about this week...? We have out book sale in the library starting tomorrow. All week I have been withdrawing books from the catalog to get ready for the sale. Then Friday we set everything up. That had my muscles hurting quickly but it is nice to feel like I am gaining muscles. I feel like that has been a new thing since my transplant that with what I am doing I can see definition of muscles that I have never been able to see before. As for my tongue - I have zero idea what is going on there. I had been very carefully watching what I ate and my tongue always looked the same. Then Friday I ate what I wanted and my tongue looked better the next day. So as per usual I have no idea what my body is doing. Some days that is still frustrating other days it's whatever. Also this morning I woke up in a lot of pain and it hurts when I take deep breaths. I am not sure what that means. Some of the all over pains could be from everything I have done over the past few days but my...

Ya'll I really don't know what to write today. I still have thrush and I am trying to change my eating habits to try and get rid of that but it's hard and my body doesn't know how to fight anything off. And I am out of the med that is supposed to treat it which is ok because once I ran out my tongue looked and felt better which is weird. Work has been pretty much the same so still good and I am still learning and trying to form connections with people even if it is only someone I see five minutes or less a day. Skipped out on church again because I started crying a little when I thought about how I go but no one talks to me. That's really hard ya'll. So if you are in church and you see someone you have never seen before - introduce yourself. Maybe talk to them a little even if you find out they have been going there a while. I was always taught that a part of the church is being the body and fellowshipping with one another. Not having that makes me feel li...

I don't know if I have said this before or not - if I have here it is again - if not welcome to hearing it for the first time. For some dumb reason Sunday nights are the hardest for me here. Even after a good weekend like this one. Even after all the time with mom and dad. All the giggles while hunting eggs and playing apples to apples until we were out of cards. All the kisses and hugs. Even after all that Sunday night it still hard. Because Sunday night finds me feeling lonely and doubtful of all my life decisions. Sunday nights find he questioning why I am here. Tomorrow everything will be good. I will be back to work being productive at my job that I love and that I am good at. But Sunday night feels crushing and never ending. And being back at mom and dad's is great. But leaving has gotten harder instead of easier. Leaving finds me crying but trying not to cry too hard that I can't drive away. And so Sunday night finds me trying to distract myself and wear...

Ya'll I am constantly putting a lot of pressure on myself. Even here in this space where all I am doing is sharing about my life. I am putting pressure on myself to have more to say/share. Pressure to not sound negative or down about life. But I find that I am often down about life because I am putting super high expectations on myself that I can't meet - it's a vicious cycle. And I am going to try not to do that now. So here's what has been going on this week - Not much. I haven't been sleeping well at all which is normal. I normally sleep well in the early morning but I have been waking up a lot and that has been making me grouchy. However I must be doing good at containing my grouchiness because I feel like more people - students and staff - have been approaching me this week with questions or to just talk. As a librarian I love that people trust that I will find them what they are looking for. As someone who often finds herself lonely in a new place I ...

This week at work I helped my boss move furniture. We rearranged almost the library and still have some more things to move when more things get moved out. That wore me out most days but it felt good to be able to help with that stuff. This weekend I got to spend sometime with some of my favorite people and dearest friends - part of my camp family. Though we love the kids we minister to at camp it was nice to be able to have some time for us without the kids around. To be able to catch up on what is going on in each others lives and to pour into each other. Life pulls us all in so many different directions that it was a treat to be able to get together with part of the staff and encourage each other and enjoy a time of fellowship. Being around them is always a good reminder for me of how loved I am. Sometimes I forget that and start to think that sharing my life with them will be a burden which is ridiculous since I want them to share their lives with me. And just like I hurt for...

So the big news this week is that I don't have shingles on my tongue. I went to an ear, nose, and throat clinic this week about the bumps on my tongue. Neither the Physicians Assistant nor the doctor think I have shingles. They think i just have enlarged buds and have stayed enlarged for some explainable reason. The Physicians Assistant thinks I might have thrush while the doctor believes that I don't. They were shocked that I had campylobacter and the Physicians Assistant remarked that I was too young to have had shingles twice already (which is a comment I often get about a lot of my health problems). Also the doctor put this little scope thing down my nose to get a better look at my enlarged buds since they are so far back on my tongue. That was unpleasant. Not the worst thing I have ever had to do but still no fun. Anyway he ended up putting me on this liquid medicine that treats thrush. He said either it will help or it won't and the buds will go down on their own. A...