The good the bad and the mundane
So during the week sometimes I make little notes to myself of things to talk about in my note...sometimes I have a lot of notes with cool thought and observances...other times...like this week...I don't have many notes and they aren't really that thought provoking...and though I titled this the good the bad and the mundane...I don't know for sure if there really was a bad...but we will get there...and since I like to go in order we will start with the good...
This is something I meant to mention last week but I forgot about it...that's what happens when I don't make a note of things...anywho I am really excited because I am going to be in Arizona for a week early in May for my graduation...I am pretty stoked about that and getting to see my friends there...and obviously about graduating on time...whenever people hear that despite me being sick I am still going to graduate from college in four years...I think their minds are a little blown...I am even sort of looking at maybe going on to get my masters...but that will come later...anywho...at first we were just going to go for the weekend and be in Arizona for maybe three full days...but then my graduation time was different then we thought...we thought it was a Saturday...but it's really a Thursday morning...so to make that work and still get the cheep flight we have to fly out at a different time...but that should be ok because then we can enjoy more time with family there...and not have to try and cramp everything I want to do into three days...I am finding more and more that I miss Arizona...especially my friends...but I still would hate being away from my friends and family here...and that would only be intensified by how sick I am...no one like to be away from home when they are sick...so we are rejoices about that and about how well I am doing in my Shakespeare class this semester...my teacher keeps giving me this unbelievable outstanding remarks about how good I am doing...she even said that I make analysing Shakespeare look easy so that made me feel pretty incredible...and we have for sure been celebrating those things...
I guess if I had to say a bad it would be that I had two super long days in a row this week...Tuesday I was at KSB which is my local hospital...for 6 hours I think to get a blood transfusion...then had to come home and do dialysis for another 2 and 1/2 hours...so that wasn't fun...and then Wednesday I had surgery for my fistula...mom and I left the house around 9 in the morning...and didn't get back to Dixon until like 6 or something and yet again had to do dialysis for 2 and 1/2 hours...so that sucked...
While I'm on the subject I should talk about my surgery...I had been a little nervous the days leading up to it...but then on Wednesday I thought why am I getting nervous this is no big deal...and in pre op I was joking and laughing with everyone that came in to see me...the nurses and doctors and whoever else...I was even laughing as they put my IV in which they didn't get on the first two tries but did get in on the third try...so I got to get poked extra...even as I was laying on the operating table and they were cleaning up my arm and giving me the meds to put me under I was cracking jokes and laughing with everyone...its just what I do...the funny thing about me is that I was nervous after the surgery...there were two things I woke up wanting to know... first how long did the surgery take...knowing if they went under or over the time they originally told you can give you a hint to if there were problems during surgery or not...and second did I have to stay over night...cause I really didn't want to and would have been super pissed if I would have had too...but I was in post op and they were talking about taking me to stage 2 soon which is were you sit up and eat a little and get your IV out and get dressed and then go home...so I was a happy camper...and my surgery lasted pretty much in the range of time that they said so that was comforting as well...
This is something I meant to mention last week but I forgot about it...that's what happens when I don't make a note of things...anywho I am really excited because I am going to be in Arizona for a week early in May for my graduation...I am pretty stoked about that and getting to see my friends there...and obviously about graduating on time...whenever people hear that despite me being sick I am still going to graduate from college in four years...I think their minds are a little blown...I am even sort of looking at maybe going on to get my masters...but that will come later...anywho...at first we were just going to go for the weekend and be in Arizona for maybe three full days...but then my graduation time was different then we thought...we thought it was a Saturday...but it's really a Thursday morning...so to make that work and still get the cheep flight we have to fly out at a different time...but that should be ok because then we can enjoy more time with family there...and not have to try and cramp everything I want to do into three days...I am finding more and more that I miss Arizona...especially my friends...but I still would hate being away from my friends and family here...and that would only be intensified by how sick I am...no one like to be away from home when they are sick...so we are rejoices about that and about how well I am doing in my Shakespeare class this semester...my teacher keeps giving me this unbelievable outstanding remarks about how good I am doing...she even said that I make analysing Shakespeare look easy so that made me feel pretty incredible...and we have for sure been celebrating those things...
I guess if I had to say a bad it would be that I had two super long days in a row this week...Tuesday I was at KSB which is my local hospital...for 6 hours I think to get a blood transfusion...then had to come home and do dialysis for another 2 and 1/2 hours...so that wasn't fun...and then Wednesday I had surgery for my fistula...mom and I left the house around 9 in the morning...and didn't get back to Dixon until like 6 or something and yet again had to do dialysis for 2 and 1/2 hours...so that sucked...
While I'm on the subject I should talk about my surgery...I had been a little nervous the days leading up to it...but then on Wednesday I thought why am I getting nervous this is no big deal...and in pre op I was joking and laughing with everyone that came in to see me...the nurses and doctors and whoever else...I was even laughing as they put my IV in which they didn't get on the first two tries but did get in on the third try...so I got to get poked extra...even as I was laying on the operating table and they were cleaning up my arm and giving me the meds to put me under I was cracking jokes and laughing with everyone...its just what I do...the funny thing about me is that I was nervous after the surgery...there were two things I woke up wanting to know... first how long did the surgery take...knowing if they went under or over the time they originally told you can give you a hint to if there were problems during surgery or not...and second did I have to stay over night...cause I really didn't want to and would have been super pissed if I would have had too...but I was in post op and they were talking about taking me to stage 2 soon which is were you sit up and eat a little and get your IV out and get dressed and then go home...so I was a happy camper...and my surgery lasted pretty much in the range of time that they said so that was comforting as well...
I should say that I was wrong...I misunderstood the doctor the first time he talked to us about the fistula...they don't put anything inside of me they use what is already there...they cut a slit in an artery and connect a vein to that creating the fistula...then you have to do these exercises to grow it making it an easy access...this takes 6 to 8 weeks to heal before I can use it and has a small chance of not working...we are praying that mine works since my body has a habit of being in the small percentage that doesn't work because it likes to be difficult...I took the bandage off Friday and posted a picture of it on Facebook...if you didn't see that here it is...
(see those blue dots...I told my 6 year old nephew when he was looking at it that the doctors played connect the dots on my arm...he thought that was pretty funny)
Once it heals and I do the exercises you might be able to see it sticking up a little but it shouldn't be that big...since Friday I also took off those little strips of tape...at first when I saw it I was grossed out and freaked out...having a melt down/verge of a panic attack thing going on but now I am fine with it and I am willing to show it to anyone who asks...I should also say they put a vein and an artery together for dialysis because when you do dialysis the machine pulls dirty blood form an artery and then puts it back into your body through a vein...unless I have that switched but I think that right...so if they are connected like that then its easy access and easy to monitor...right now you can sort of feel the blood running in it...some people say it feels like a purr...like the purr of a cat...I think it feels more like an electric current...like the humming/buzzing of a power line or even an engine...but I don't like cats...but happen to enjoy car engines for the most part...
Anywho since my surgery my week has been pretty normal...sitting around trying to not over do it and let my arm heal up while still trying to do homework...typing a paper with one hand...even your dominate hand is hard...I have been having to tell myself that its ok to take pain pills...I always want to tell myself to suck it up and just deal with the pain...but this week I have been telling myself to not be a hero...just take the dang medicine so you can feel good at least for a while...that has been nice to not have to deal with a lot of the normal everyday pain that I have...and it hasn't been making me act too crazy...that I know of...but those will be gone soon so I better start toughening up again...the fact though that I have been able to wash it and take all the tape off of it is good...that and the fact that I can move my fingers again even if doing a lot of things with my arm and my hand still hurts...so I am making some improvements that I can see...cleaning off my arm today didn't hurt like it did Friday so that is a plus too...
Oh and one more thing that has been a major blessing...I have my car back...my sister has been using it since the end of October...she just got a car yesterday though so I am able to use my car again so I don't need to go hunting for I ride when I need to run to the hospital for a blood test or a transfusion...and if I want to run to the store or go get lunch I can...I am no longer super trapped in my house...that feels really good...and I can assure you I have been celebrating about that...
I've had a lot of things to rejoice about this week...even though I had some long tough days...and I have an ouchy on my arm...I have been able to rejoice in many other things...it has been nice this week to have those around me be able to experience not only mourning with me while I mourn but rejoicing with me as I rejoice as well...thanks for always rallying around me...it means a lot...God continues to show me his goodness in the things that he gives me (whether I see them as good or bad at the time I do believe he works all things out for his good we just have to be patient to see what he is doing) and through the number of people that support me and my family...
Comments
Post a Comment