I thought I had something sorted out for this weeks blog...
But I am thinking I was wrong because after I wrote down my last idea I have been conflicted thinking maybe I should talk about something else...but before I get to that I will do a quick update about my doctors appointment this week for those of you who didn't see my mom's update...
My albumin which is related to my protein is up which is good...I no longer have to drink this nasty juice additive thing that is super gross...plus that's something that they look at to make sure it is above 4 so that you can be active on the transplant list...mine is above 4...woowho...but my hemoglobin still needs some work...my epo is causing me to have high blood pressure a little again but not as bad as before yet...but it is helping my hemoglobin levels stablize a little...also I have no food restrictions so that's really great...and Dr. Sader said my fistula was healing good...when he saw it he even said "he (refering to Dr. O'Connor) even made it look pretty"...now Dr Sader didn't know this but I needed that because I am still having a hard time with this scar on my arm...I think it looks super ugly and I am not quite used to it yet...so it meant a lot to me that he said that...him and Jessica (the dialysis nurse I see when Kathy isn't around) both went on and on about how good I am looking so that made me feel pretty darn good too...
Now comes the part were I am still even as I type this wondering what I am going to say...I just am not sure if I am going to be able to get my thoughts and my point across...so I guess we'll see what happens...
As you all probably know Whitney Houston died on Saturday and you may be thinking "BB why are you bringing this up"...and I have to say though I have never been a huge Whitney fan I am sad about her death...if you have ever heard her you know the power of her voice...the notes she hits are incredible...I am not saying you have to like her I am just saying that only a few people can sing all the notes that she can so clearly and hold the notes without even thinking twice about it...I am sad that we have lost such an incredible voice and a woman who paved the way for so many performing artist today...I am also sad because she was a daughter, sister, friend, and mother...I don't know what it is like to bury a child...I don't know what it's like to be a child burying your mother...to me that would have to be so sad...it is odd to me that people have been getting upset that her death has been getting so much press but when someones life gets a lot of press then of course so would their death and when a person has so many fans that love them then they are all mourning over that persons death as well...she was so loved because she loved her fans so much and gave so much of herself to them...she tried to entertain them through the rough times of her life always wanting others to be happy...
Something else that is also interesting to me is how people are bashing her for being addicted to drugs and and alcohol while saying she loves the Lord...first off think about the things you are saying about a human being...like I already said she was someones child...someones mother...someones sister and friend...if you had a drug addicted person in your family it hurts you when people say something about them...when people talk about how she would say she loved the Lord people have been talking like they believe that our salvation depends on our actions when the Bible says that our salvation is "not by works but by faith"...did she do drugs...yes she admitted that...you can see her in interviews talking about she is her own downfall and her own worst enemy...was she the best example...no she made a lot of poor decisions but she knew that...and we all do dumb things...Whitney was not the first to do drugs and do dumb things in public...but did she love the Lord...I believe yes...all her friends talked about how she was grounded in the Lord...her Bible was tattered and had a lot of passages on every page highlighted...that wouldn't be the case if she wasn't reading the word...she talked openly about her faith in Jesus Christ her savior...did she have demons she was battling...yes but that doesn't mean she wasn't trying...her faith was not based on her works but her belief that she needed a savior...this is the foundation of the Christian faith and that is what we should be focusing on when looking at other believers...but we get so caught up in judging one another and trying to look better than someone trying to "out righteous" our neighbor that we miss that God is saying you are nothing without me...you are dirty period rags and your actions can't do anything for you...it's all about me...
I think Tyler Perry said it well at Whitney's funeral when he said that when he first met Whitney she would get sad during their conversation but then would say "but the Lord" or "but Jesus my Savior" and then her mood would turn around because she believed strongly in the Bible where it says "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the furture, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord" Romans 8:38-39...she knew she had problems and sinned and had demons to battle but she also knew her salvation depended on her Lord who would never leave her...nothing she did could seperate her from God's love and her held on to that in her darkest times as she tried time and time to overcome her addictions..
Sorry that this is long and sorry if it doesn't really make any sense as I rambled from one point to the next...I just get so tired of the judgements that we all pass on eachother...again including myself...we seem to tend to be more like the pharisee in Luke 18:9-14 then like the tax collector...we turn our nose up and say look at me loke at how much better I am than that guy...or than Whitney Houston who ruined her life on drugs...instead of saying Father I am so sorry that I have messed up and sinned against you hurting you time after time...when we admit our failures and show our humility is when we are able to love on others and show them the kind of unexpected compassionate graceful love that God gives to us...and I think that when we do that we start to understand God's love for use just a little bit more...
My albumin which is related to my protein is up which is good...I no longer have to drink this nasty juice additive thing that is super gross...plus that's something that they look at to make sure it is above 4 so that you can be active on the transplant list...mine is above 4...woowho...but my hemoglobin still needs some work...my epo is causing me to have high blood pressure a little again but not as bad as before yet...but it is helping my hemoglobin levels stablize a little...also I have no food restrictions so that's really great...and Dr. Sader said my fistula was healing good...when he saw it he even said "he (refering to Dr. O'Connor) even made it look pretty"...now Dr Sader didn't know this but I needed that because I am still having a hard time with this scar on my arm...I think it looks super ugly and I am not quite used to it yet...so it meant a lot to me that he said that...him and Jessica (the dialysis nurse I see when Kathy isn't around) both went on and on about how good I am looking so that made me feel pretty darn good too...
Now comes the part were I am still even as I type this wondering what I am going to say...I just am not sure if I am going to be able to get my thoughts and my point across...so I guess we'll see what happens...
As you all probably know Whitney Houston died on Saturday and you may be thinking "BB why are you bringing this up"...and I have to say though I have never been a huge Whitney fan I am sad about her death...if you have ever heard her you know the power of her voice...the notes she hits are incredible...I am not saying you have to like her I am just saying that only a few people can sing all the notes that she can so clearly and hold the notes without even thinking twice about it...I am sad that we have lost such an incredible voice and a woman who paved the way for so many performing artist today...I am also sad because she was a daughter, sister, friend, and mother...I don't know what it is like to bury a child...I don't know what it's like to be a child burying your mother...to me that would have to be so sad...it is odd to me that people have been getting upset that her death has been getting so much press but when someones life gets a lot of press then of course so would their death and when a person has so many fans that love them then they are all mourning over that persons death as well...she was so loved because she loved her fans so much and gave so much of herself to them...she tried to entertain them through the rough times of her life always wanting others to be happy...
Something else that is also interesting to me is how people are bashing her for being addicted to drugs and and alcohol while saying she loves the Lord...first off think about the things you are saying about a human being...like I already said she was someones child...someones mother...someones sister and friend...if you had a drug addicted person in your family it hurts you when people say something about them...when people talk about how she would say she loved the Lord people have been talking like they believe that our salvation depends on our actions when the Bible says that our salvation is "not by works but by faith"...did she do drugs...yes she admitted that...you can see her in interviews talking about she is her own downfall and her own worst enemy...was she the best example...no she made a lot of poor decisions but she knew that...and we all do dumb things...Whitney was not the first to do drugs and do dumb things in public...but did she love the Lord...I believe yes...all her friends talked about how she was grounded in the Lord...her Bible was tattered and had a lot of passages on every page highlighted...that wouldn't be the case if she wasn't reading the word...she talked openly about her faith in Jesus Christ her savior...did she have demons she was battling...yes but that doesn't mean she wasn't trying...her faith was not based on her works but her belief that she needed a savior...this is the foundation of the Christian faith and that is what we should be focusing on when looking at other believers...but we get so caught up in judging one another and trying to look better than someone trying to "out righteous" our neighbor that we miss that God is saying you are nothing without me...you are dirty period rags and your actions can't do anything for you...it's all about me...
I think Tyler Perry said it well at Whitney's funeral when he said that when he first met Whitney she would get sad during their conversation but then would say "but the Lord" or "but Jesus my Savior" and then her mood would turn around because she believed strongly in the Bible where it says "I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the furture, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ our Lord" Romans 8:38-39...she knew she had problems and sinned and had demons to battle but she also knew her salvation depended on her Lord who would never leave her...nothing she did could seperate her from God's love and her held on to that in her darkest times as she tried time and time to overcome her addictions..
Sorry that this is long and sorry if it doesn't really make any sense as I rambled from one point to the next...I just get so tired of the judgements that we all pass on eachother...again including myself...we seem to tend to be more like the pharisee in Luke 18:9-14 then like the tax collector...we turn our nose up and say look at me loke at how much better I am than that guy...or than Whitney Houston who ruined her life on drugs...instead of saying Father I am so sorry that I have messed up and sinned against you hurting you time after time...when we admit our failures and show our humility is when we are able to love on others and show them the kind of unexpected compassionate graceful love that God gives to us...and I think that when we do that we start to understand God's love for use just a little bit more...
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