Shingles again
I have shingles again. That makes three times. This time on my tongue. It doesn't really hurt so that is a positive. Mostly it just feels like something is stuck in my throat which is annoying. Also I have had them for three weeks. Yeah the blister type bumps on my tongue that I have been talking about - those are shingles.
Though it doesn't hurt I still find myself getting upset because shingles again, really? Shingles once was upsetting enough but shingles three times - I don't even know how to describe how upset I am when that thought hits me at different times. Also I have been getting upset with myself. Upset that I didn't realize that that's what I have again even though the signs are there. Upset that obviously I am still not good at handling stress. Upset that I let myself get so stressed out to the point that my body fights itself.
But having shingles and being so emotional means that I cannot deny how stressed out I am.
I know I am not the first person to move away from home, to start a new job, and to have to try and make new friends in a new place. But I also cannot deny how much it sucks to do nor deny how freaking hard it is. Add to that that I am such a homebody and that I don't make friends easy - that leads to a lot of days where I wonder what I am doing here.
Yes I love my job - but that does not always cover how hard all this is. Sometimes it makes it harder because I love my job but I am also still learning at my job which guess what is also stressful.
Right now I don't have a positive way to end this.
I know someday I will look back and see how I got through all of this and became stronger or whatever.
But right now I have shingles on my tongue and that sucks.
Though it doesn't hurt I still find myself getting upset because shingles again, really? Shingles once was upsetting enough but shingles three times - I don't even know how to describe how upset I am when that thought hits me at different times. Also I have been getting upset with myself. Upset that I didn't realize that that's what I have again even though the signs are there. Upset that obviously I am still not good at handling stress. Upset that I let myself get so stressed out to the point that my body fights itself.
But having shingles and being so emotional means that I cannot deny how stressed out I am.
I know I am not the first person to move away from home, to start a new job, and to have to try and make new friends in a new place. But I also cannot deny how much it sucks to do nor deny how freaking hard it is. Add to that that I am such a homebody and that I don't make friends easy - that leads to a lot of days where I wonder what I am doing here.
Yes I love my job - but that does not always cover how hard all this is. Sometimes it makes it harder because I love my job but I am also still learning at my job which guess what is also stressful.
Right now I don't have a positive way to end this.
I know someday I will look back and see how I got through all of this and became stronger or whatever.
But right now I have shingles on my tongue and that sucks.
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