Grateful for Alex
Hi all, I decided to post early because I have an idea that I like so I wanted to write it out before I forgot it.
First - having a break from the freeze your face off cold weather for a few days of blissful sunshine was much needed. Not that I have not still been frustrated and upset during those days but the sun and the warmth were rather uplifting for my spirit. I hope it had been for you as well.
Second - with some of those frustrations comes questions of if I should stay where I am at or try something different. I feel like I am trying to figure out if I am living the life I want to be living or on the right track to it. And right now I don't know in part because I am unsure of what I want. So if you think about it would you shoot up a prayer or two or me about that.
While I was recently praying about the path of my life I started to do something that I tend to do a lot. I start thinking about the gift of life I have been given by Alex and his family. And as the father of lies likes to do - doubts started creeping in about if I am doing enough to honor his life and to truly show how thankful I am for this beautiful, precious gift. See it is often easy for me to think I am not doing big enough things. What I mean by that is I am not out curing diseases or climbing mountains or any other giant out loud things that may pop into my head at those moments. But I got thinking about how just like God wants me to be me and true to who he made me to be Alex probably would want that too.
And I think that Alex would love that because of him I have gotten to do incredible things in my life that for a while I didn't think would happen. I've gotten to celebrate millstones with friends - weddings (I love dancing at weddings), engagements (I can't wait to party at Gar's wedding I am so freaking excited!!!), graduate with different degrees (high school, bachelors, masters), and so many more breathtaking moments. I've gotten to spend more time with my nephews watching them grow, play games with them, and chase them around the house and the yard again. I've gotten to see my sister get married, now be pregnant, and I will most likely know that kiddo. I've gotten to continue to watch my brother be a great dad to his boys and make me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants, as only he can do. I've gotten to see and help my parents rebuild, move into, and settle into their new place where they can grow old without worrying about some of the things that can easily plague our minds and it's a bonus that it is a place that oddly seems more like home than a place we lived in for 25 years. At least I think that - not dissing on the place I grew up in the new place just seems to be a perfect combination of everything mom and dad have ever dreamed of.
Sometimes the small daily things that are important to us as a singular soul are the most important things when trying to live a full life. And I am thankful beyond words that because of Alex I get to be here to live each one.
First - having a break from the freeze your face off cold weather for a few days of blissful sunshine was much needed. Not that I have not still been frustrated and upset during those days but the sun and the warmth were rather uplifting for my spirit. I hope it had been for you as well.
Second - with some of those frustrations comes questions of if I should stay where I am at or try something different. I feel like I am trying to figure out if I am living the life I want to be living or on the right track to it. And right now I don't know in part because I am unsure of what I want. So if you think about it would you shoot up a prayer or two or me about that.
While I was recently praying about the path of my life I started to do something that I tend to do a lot. I start thinking about the gift of life I have been given by Alex and his family. And as the father of lies likes to do - doubts started creeping in about if I am doing enough to honor his life and to truly show how thankful I am for this beautiful, precious gift. See it is often easy for me to think I am not doing big enough things. What I mean by that is I am not out curing diseases or climbing mountains or any other giant out loud things that may pop into my head at those moments. But I got thinking about how just like God wants me to be me and true to who he made me to be Alex probably would want that too.
And I think that Alex would love that because of him I have gotten to do incredible things in my life that for a while I didn't think would happen. I've gotten to celebrate millstones with friends - weddings (I love dancing at weddings), engagements (I can't wait to party at Gar's wedding I am so freaking excited!!!), graduate with different degrees (high school, bachelors, masters), and so many more breathtaking moments. I've gotten to spend more time with my nephews watching them grow, play games with them, and chase them around the house and the yard again. I've gotten to see my sister get married, now be pregnant, and I will most likely know that kiddo. I've gotten to continue to watch my brother be a great dad to his boys and make me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants, as only he can do. I've gotten to see and help my parents rebuild, move into, and settle into their new place where they can grow old without worrying about some of the things that can easily plague our minds and it's a bonus that it is a place that oddly seems more like home than a place we lived in for 25 years. At least I think that - not dissing on the place I grew up in the new place just seems to be a perfect combination of everything mom and dad have ever dreamed of.
Sometimes the small daily things that are important to us as a singular soul are the most important things when trying to live a full life. And I am thankful beyond words that because of Alex I get to be here to live each one.
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