Another Short Post
Last night I wrote a short very depressing post and then told myself to sleep on it before posting it. I figured that I was just feeling emotional like I do most weekends.
And then today I woke up wanting to cry. And went to work wanting to cry. And then briefly talked to my boss before starting to cry. I then had a panic attack at work and then came home for the day after working only two hours.
While I have been home one of the things I did was to write down some of my frustrations so I could talk to my boss about them instead of just barely mumbling out that I am overwhelmed before starting to cry while my mind went completely blank.
Here's the thing - some of you who know me know that I have a hard time not speaking my mind. And those of you that just know me on here know that I try to be as truthful as possible. But I am finding that I am not that way at work, at all. Because I think that if I ask for help or if I say that something is frustrating me that I am being a nuisance and hard to work with. I so don't want to be those things. But I also don't want to get burnt out to the point where I have a panic attack at work.
So here we are.
In the coming days I am going to try to talk to my boss about some of my frustrations with no expectation except wanting to feel heard. And I think that sometimes that is the most important thing of all.
If you think of it would you pray for me. That I would have courage. And that I would continue to learn how to be easier on myself.
And then today I woke up wanting to cry. And went to work wanting to cry. And then briefly talked to my boss before starting to cry. I then had a panic attack at work and then came home for the day after working only two hours.
While I have been home one of the things I did was to write down some of my frustrations so I could talk to my boss about them instead of just barely mumbling out that I am overwhelmed before starting to cry while my mind went completely blank.
Here's the thing - some of you who know me know that I have a hard time not speaking my mind. And those of you that just know me on here know that I try to be as truthful as possible. But I am finding that I am not that way at work, at all. Because I think that if I ask for help or if I say that something is frustrating me that I am being a nuisance and hard to work with. I so don't want to be those things. But I also don't want to get burnt out to the point where I have a panic attack at work.
So here we are.
In the coming days I am going to try to talk to my boss about some of my frustrations with no expectation except wanting to feel heard. And I think that sometimes that is the most important thing of all.
If you think of it would you pray for me. That I would have courage. And that I would continue to learn how to be easier on myself.
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