How it went and then some...
Gosh - were to start with this week...
Well if you didn't read last weeks please go back and read that or some of this next stuff might not make sense.
So as mentioned in my last blog after a rough very short day a work I talked to my boss the next day. it went well and some of the things I brought up reminded her of things she has been meaning to do to help me but has forgotten about them. So it was nice to come away from that with some solutions of a sort. But better than that was that earlier in the same day I talked to this lady I work with. Well I don't really work with her. She works in a different department but her office area is right around the corner. We see each other a lot throughout the day because she passes my desk a lot. I consider her my work mom because of the care that she shows for me. Anyway it was unplanned that I talked to her first but it was great. She was encouraging and helped clam me down. Also she helped get me thinking about some things a little differently because of the kinds of questions she asked me which was really nice. So overall it was a good day of feeling heard and like I matter as a person and not just a cog in a machine.
Though I don't feel like I can confidently say that I am not still sort of frustrated about some things. I do know that those are my own personal attitude that I am working on changing. But I do feel like I can say that I don't feel as anxious about things.
Also I am so thankful for you all who get how I was feeling. It's nice to know that so many people get that life gets rough and unbearable and can make our frail bodies do crazy things. I know that not everyone has that kind of support system and so I am grateful for you all that you get that anxiety is a real thing that can at times be debilitating.
In other news I got to spend some time with some of my people this week. I headed back to mom and dad's. I think that even if something with my friends wasn't planned this weekend I would have headed to there place because after Monday I needed my mom. But when people were asking why I was in town I kept pointing at my friend Kenny. When he is around I want to be there. Some how after something like 15 years I have not managed to crap up that friendship. So when he plans something I try to make it a priority to be around. I try to do the same if there are family events going on and since he is family I guess you could call the things he plans family events too.
Seeing him is always good for my soul as well. Not just because he makes me laugh but because of the way he cares for those around him. Also because when I am around him I am reminded of God's goodness and how perfect his plans are. I have been friends with Kenny for 15 years not because of my doing - it's no secret that when we met I wanted nothing to do with him - but because God knew that we would lean on each other like we have. It is also nice to think about how we have grown over the years and helped each other grow. Sometimes it strikes me as funny how that young girl I was had no idea what was coming when she met Kenny and of course it is funny too that we were both stubborn (and still are) in our own ways - me not wanting to be involved in things or be friends with him and him wanting to be involved in everything and make friends with everyone including me.
And really I love that God knows us better than we do and knows what and who will be good for us. And I am glad that at the end of the day good or bad He is still there through it all - faithful, unchanging. He's pretty great.
Well if you didn't read last weeks please go back and read that or some of this next stuff might not make sense.
So as mentioned in my last blog after a rough very short day a work I talked to my boss the next day. it went well and some of the things I brought up reminded her of things she has been meaning to do to help me but has forgotten about them. So it was nice to come away from that with some solutions of a sort. But better than that was that earlier in the same day I talked to this lady I work with. Well I don't really work with her. She works in a different department but her office area is right around the corner. We see each other a lot throughout the day because she passes my desk a lot. I consider her my work mom because of the care that she shows for me. Anyway it was unplanned that I talked to her first but it was great. She was encouraging and helped clam me down. Also she helped get me thinking about some things a little differently because of the kinds of questions she asked me which was really nice. So overall it was a good day of feeling heard and like I matter as a person and not just a cog in a machine.
Though I don't feel like I can confidently say that I am not still sort of frustrated about some things. I do know that those are my own personal attitude that I am working on changing. But I do feel like I can say that I don't feel as anxious about things.
Also I am so thankful for you all who get how I was feeling. It's nice to know that so many people get that life gets rough and unbearable and can make our frail bodies do crazy things. I know that not everyone has that kind of support system and so I am grateful for you all that you get that anxiety is a real thing that can at times be debilitating.
In other news I got to spend some time with some of my people this week. I headed back to mom and dad's. I think that even if something with my friends wasn't planned this weekend I would have headed to there place because after Monday I needed my mom. But when people were asking why I was in town I kept pointing at my friend Kenny. When he is around I want to be there. Some how after something like 15 years I have not managed to crap up that friendship. So when he plans something I try to make it a priority to be around. I try to do the same if there are family events going on and since he is family I guess you could call the things he plans family events too.
Seeing him is always good for my soul as well. Not just because he makes me laugh but because of the way he cares for those around him. Also because when I am around him I am reminded of God's goodness and how perfect his plans are. I have been friends with Kenny for 15 years not because of my doing - it's no secret that when we met I wanted nothing to do with him - but because God knew that we would lean on each other like we have. It is also nice to think about how we have grown over the years and helped each other grow. Sometimes it strikes me as funny how that young girl I was had no idea what was coming when she met Kenny and of course it is funny too that we were both stubborn (and still are) in our own ways - me not wanting to be involved in things or be friends with him and him wanting to be involved in everything and make friends with everyone including me.
And really I love that God knows us better than we do and knows what and who will be good for us. And I am glad that at the end of the day good or bad He is still there through it all - faithful, unchanging. He's pretty great.
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