Reminders
Hey all,
So first I would like to say that this first week back to work post-vacation has been great. Not really because work has been different - that's been pretty normal - but because I did not realize how much I needed a break from work. In the past week I have been less frustrated and less on edge and it has been incredible. I was expecting that when I got back from vacation I would hopefully feel relaxed but I was not expecting that it would be like a clearing of my mind. While on vacation I didn't worry about work at all and that was very freeing which has made it easier now that I am back at work to worry about things less. And this has been a lesson for myself to use my vacation days and enjoy time away from work. It feels like so much junk that was rattling around in my mind was dumped out somewhere on my vacation and it can stay there.
In other news sometimes on Sundays I think about how much I enjoy the church I am going to here. I don't always make it because well getting out of bed is hard. (Actually sleep problems and chronic kidney disease are linked so getting out of bed will always be hard for me - yay me!) Anyway today while I was getting ready to go to church I was thinking a little about how I would wear crazy, fun outfits to the church I grew up in. Things that made people turn their heads and possibly think I am crazy. But a lot of people also knew I wore those things because I love those things. It was always nice knowing that I could look 100% like me in that way and there would be people at church to support me being me. And today I sort of laughed thinking about how I was wearing overalls again to church here. I think I have mostly worn overalls to church here - hahaha. And that is 100% me too. But at first I was thinking maybe I should dress up more. I am going to church and sometimes people expect you to wear your Sunday best. But I wear dress clothes all week long at work so it often means I just want to wear things that are a bit simpler on the weekends. Well as simple as my clothes get. And at first I was struggling with that. I thought "that is not a good enough reason to wear overalls to church again." But then I was reminded that all going to church is is going to God's house. And just like my friends want me to feel comfortable going over to their house in whatever (mostly sweatpants) God wants me to feel 100% comfortable when I go to his house too. So the overalls it was.
And I have to say it was a good reminder today to remember that I don't have to be anything other than me when I enter God's presence. And I can be me as I sit here writing this in his presence in my home. He loves me 100% as is - the good and the bad. Sure he wants us to work on changing the bad together but he never wants me to feel ashamed when I come to him or feel like I have to hide myself somehow. God wants us to come to him like we would to our best friend. To come without fear of judgement. To come as authentically ourselves as possible.
May that be a freeing reminder for you this week.
So first I would like to say that this first week back to work post-vacation has been great. Not really because work has been different - that's been pretty normal - but because I did not realize how much I needed a break from work. In the past week I have been less frustrated and less on edge and it has been incredible. I was expecting that when I got back from vacation I would hopefully feel relaxed but I was not expecting that it would be like a clearing of my mind. While on vacation I didn't worry about work at all and that was very freeing which has made it easier now that I am back at work to worry about things less. And this has been a lesson for myself to use my vacation days and enjoy time away from work. It feels like so much junk that was rattling around in my mind was dumped out somewhere on my vacation and it can stay there.
In other news sometimes on Sundays I think about how much I enjoy the church I am going to here. I don't always make it because well getting out of bed is hard. (Actually sleep problems and chronic kidney disease are linked so getting out of bed will always be hard for me - yay me!) Anyway today while I was getting ready to go to church I was thinking a little about how I would wear crazy, fun outfits to the church I grew up in. Things that made people turn their heads and possibly think I am crazy. But a lot of people also knew I wore those things because I love those things. It was always nice knowing that I could look 100% like me in that way and there would be people at church to support me being me. And today I sort of laughed thinking about how I was wearing overalls again to church here. I think I have mostly worn overalls to church here - hahaha. And that is 100% me too. But at first I was thinking maybe I should dress up more. I am going to church and sometimes people expect you to wear your Sunday best. But I wear dress clothes all week long at work so it often means I just want to wear things that are a bit simpler on the weekends. Well as simple as my clothes get. And at first I was struggling with that. I thought "that is not a good enough reason to wear overalls to church again." But then I was reminded that all going to church is is going to God's house. And just like my friends want me to feel comfortable going over to their house in whatever (mostly sweatpants) God wants me to feel 100% comfortable when I go to his house too. So the overalls it was.
And I have to say it was a good reminder today to remember that I don't have to be anything other than me when I enter God's presence. And I can be me as I sit here writing this in his presence in my home. He loves me 100% as is - the good and the bad. Sure he wants us to work on changing the bad together but he never wants me to feel ashamed when I come to him or feel like I have to hide myself somehow. God wants us to come to him like we would to our best friend. To come without fear of judgement. To come as authentically ourselves as possible.
May that be a freeing reminder for you this week.
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