Dang
So I'm a homeowner. How weird is that? In like a cool way. Ha. It's a little crazy.
And I have been doing good I think about not getting to freaked out about things. I have been just trying to work on things when I can and the things that I can. It's exciting that the house is mine. And that alone does have me feeling less anxious because I can go check on things after a big storm. And I mean go check on things because I don't live there yet. I decided that since my rent was due a few days before my house closing I would take the month to try to get some things done before moving in. I live close though so that is nice. Anyway I have been trying to just work and not get overwhelmed or frustrated but it is obvious I have been since I freaked out a little today. And as per usual it was after noticing something else that was done wrong that is an easy fix. Also as per usual it wasn't actually about the thing that was noticed. And also as per usual it is because I am putting a lot of needless pressure on myself because this is freaky and I want to get everything right.
But my parents were there to calm me down and crack jokes today. And it is nice that I can no longer say "I bought a house and my parents haven't even seen it yet." Because mom was here closing day since she took me to see the GI. (I have an ulcer in my stomach but it isn't bleeding so we are treating it right now with a medicine that coats the lining of my esophagus and stomach so the ulcer doesn't get an irritated when I do things like eat so that it can heal itself. And I have a small polyp in my throat that has been removed and like the others will be tested to make sure nothing bigger is going on.) And dad saw it today because Mom and Dad decided to drive my way after the wedding we all went to this weekend. And Josie road tripped with them so she saw it too. It feels good to think that my parents have seen my house and like it and are proud of me. I mean they were before they saw it but it is just oddly comforting to me that they have seen it and think it will be a good home for me.
And yesterday my brother Gar got married. And for those of you who don't know Gar is not what would be considered blood related to me nor are we step siblings. I always figure though saying we are not blood related is not true because we are blood related, Jesus' blood. And we did at camp easily convince campers that we are brother and sister. And there were some people in our high school that thought we really were brother and sister. Anyway I digress. To me Gar is my brother just like my other brothers. I love them the same as I love my brother from my mother's womb. And many of them have been there for me and with me through the thick shit of life. Gar was one that sat with me while I was on dialysis multiple times including in the hospital when we got the dialysis nurses to allow him in the dialysis room by telling them he is my brother. He is steadfast and a man of his word with a deep, caring well of a heart. And I can't lie I cried a lot at his wedding. Good, joyful tears. One because of my love for him. Two because he was there when we weren't sure I would live and I did and now I get to celebrate things like seeing him get married. Three because I cry when other people cry and his and others tears of joy undid me. I love seeing the people I love indescribably happy. And I love that Alaina knows him and loves him. And it has been nice that she not only understands the relationship Gar and I have but also appreciates and includes me as his sister. Just thinking about that has me crying again now. I mean it was an emotional day all around because I got to see Cory and Taylor (one of my brothers and a life long friend whose wedding I also crazy, joyful cried at.) who I haven't seen in forever and it make my heart ache. Really I could go on and on with reasons.
It was a simply a beautiful day filled with the glorious love of our Abba father, Jesus and that alone can undo me.
May you experience the surpassing greatness of his unfailing love this week in a way that reminds you that you are fully known and deeply loved.
And I have been doing good I think about not getting to freaked out about things. I have been just trying to work on things when I can and the things that I can. It's exciting that the house is mine. And that alone does have me feeling less anxious because I can go check on things after a big storm. And I mean go check on things because I don't live there yet. I decided that since my rent was due a few days before my house closing I would take the month to try to get some things done before moving in. I live close though so that is nice. Anyway I have been trying to just work and not get overwhelmed or frustrated but it is obvious I have been since I freaked out a little today. And as per usual it was after noticing something else that was done wrong that is an easy fix. Also as per usual it wasn't actually about the thing that was noticed. And also as per usual it is because I am putting a lot of needless pressure on myself because this is freaky and I want to get everything right.
But my parents were there to calm me down and crack jokes today. And it is nice that I can no longer say "I bought a house and my parents haven't even seen it yet." Because mom was here closing day since she took me to see the GI. (I have an ulcer in my stomach but it isn't bleeding so we are treating it right now with a medicine that coats the lining of my esophagus and stomach so the ulcer doesn't get an irritated when I do things like eat so that it can heal itself. And I have a small polyp in my throat that has been removed and like the others will be tested to make sure nothing bigger is going on.) And dad saw it today because Mom and Dad decided to drive my way after the wedding we all went to this weekend. And Josie road tripped with them so she saw it too. It feels good to think that my parents have seen my house and like it and are proud of me. I mean they were before they saw it but it is just oddly comforting to me that they have seen it and think it will be a good home for me.
And yesterday my brother Gar got married. And for those of you who don't know Gar is not what would be considered blood related to me nor are we step siblings. I always figure though saying we are not blood related is not true because we are blood related, Jesus' blood. And we did at camp easily convince campers that we are brother and sister. And there were some people in our high school that thought we really were brother and sister. Anyway I digress. To me Gar is my brother just like my other brothers. I love them the same as I love my brother from my mother's womb. And many of them have been there for me and with me through the thick shit of life. Gar was one that sat with me while I was on dialysis multiple times including in the hospital when we got the dialysis nurses to allow him in the dialysis room by telling them he is my brother. He is steadfast and a man of his word with a deep, caring well of a heart. And I can't lie I cried a lot at his wedding. Good, joyful tears. One because of my love for him. Two because he was there when we weren't sure I would live and I did and now I get to celebrate things like seeing him get married. Three because I cry when other people cry and his and others tears of joy undid me. I love seeing the people I love indescribably happy. And I love that Alaina knows him and loves him. And it has been nice that she not only understands the relationship Gar and I have but also appreciates and includes me as his sister. Just thinking about that has me crying again now. I mean it was an emotional day all around because I got to see Cory and Taylor (one of my brothers and a life long friend whose wedding I also crazy, joyful cried at.) who I haven't seen in forever and it make my heart ache. Really I could go on and on with reasons.
It was a simply a beautiful day filled with the glorious love of our Abba father, Jesus and that alone can undo me.
May you experience the surpassing greatness of his unfailing love this week in a way that reminds you that you are fully known and deeply loved.
Comments
Post a Comment