Being a Lady
After spending the day in the sun flying kites and chasing my nephews around I am a little sunburned but it feels pretty good.
So update on the health - my surgery went well. No real problems. My doctor got all the polyps out in one surgery since he didn't have to worry about my hemoglobin. Someone asked us how many he removed and mom said, "I don't know he (the doctor) just said I removed one here and here and here and here and so on while pointing at a picture." The only problem was that I threw up a little when we went to Panera to get something to eat. It wasn't a big deal cause I threw up and then felt great and ate some lunch. Then while we were doing that mom was talking to dad about his possible surgery. That ended up happening on Tuesday and only took like five minutes. They just had to clean out the sore on dad's leg. He stayed in the hospital for a few days while they saw what kind of bacteria grew since it was infected. Dad got home on Thursday and he can't put on his leg on for a bit so getting out of the house has been made harder by that. That means that mom didn't really have a break again. She is frustrated and burnt out. I often times feel like she needs prayer more than I do or dad does because caregivers carry a pretty heavy load when taking care of their family.
Something that has been on my mind the past few days has to do with what I have been planning to talk to my girls at camp about. I want to teach them things about being a lady. I joked with my brother that I am teaching these things but I don't always think that I am great at being a lady. I tend to say that I am not a lady and then was told that just like I am a nerd in disguise I am a lady in disguise. See I don't always think I am great at being a lady. Along with that I start to think that I am not a conventional girl. And I have to remind myself that there is no such thing as a conventional girl. And even if there was I am happy being me.
I think mostly those thoughts come from working towards becoming who I want to be and feeling like I fall short. See I keep forgetting that I am an adult. (Not surprising since one of dad's doctors this week thought I was 16 and dad was 90. Which was also very funny.) But I keep forgetting that I am a lady and not a girl. And that the girl that wanted to be a lady with class like Grace Kelly and with moxie like Audrey Hepburn is actively working towards that goal. (Not saying that Grace Kelly didn't have moxie nor that Audrey didn't have class. They were both full of those things and more.) But I don't always believe I am those things. In my doubts I look at my mom and my grandma who have taught me a lot about being a lady. If I turn out to be a lady like them that's ok with me. They are classy ladies who aren't afraid to speak their minds and let their voices be heard. The things that I admire in them are the things I admire in others and are the things I want for myself.
And I want to continue to learn from them because they have taught me to be proud of myself no matter what.
So update on the health - my surgery went well. No real problems. My doctor got all the polyps out in one surgery since he didn't have to worry about my hemoglobin. Someone asked us how many he removed and mom said, "I don't know he (the doctor) just said I removed one here and here and here and here and so on while pointing at a picture." The only problem was that I threw up a little when we went to Panera to get something to eat. It wasn't a big deal cause I threw up and then felt great and ate some lunch. Then while we were doing that mom was talking to dad about his possible surgery. That ended up happening on Tuesday and only took like five minutes. They just had to clean out the sore on dad's leg. He stayed in the hospital for a few days while they saw what kind of bacteria grew since it was infected. Dad got home on Thursday and he can't put on his leg on for a bit so getting out of the house has been made harder by that. That means that mom didn't really have a break again. She is frustrated and burnt out. I often times feel like she needs prayer more than I do or dad does because caregivers carry a pretty heavy load when taking care of their family.
Something that has been on my mind the past few days has to do with what I have been planning to talk to my girls at camp about. I want to teach them things about being a lady. I joked with my brother that I am teaching these things but I don't always think that I am great at being a lady. I tend to say that I am not a lady and then was told that just like I am a nerd in disguise I am a lady in disguise. See I don't always think I am great at being a lady. Along with that I start to think that I am not a conventional girl. And I have to remind myself that there is no such thing as a conventional girl. And even if there was I am happy being me.
I think mostly those thoughts come from working towards becoming who I want to be and feeling like I fall short. See I keep forgetting that I am an adult. (Not surprising since one of dad's doctors this week thought I was 16 and dad was 90. Which was also very funny.) But I keep forgetting that I am a lady and not a girl. And that the girl that wanted to be a lady with class like Grace Kelly and with moxie like Audrey Hepburn is actively working towards that goal. (Not saying that Grace Kelly didn't have moxie nor that Audrey didn't have class. They were both full of those things and more.) But I don't always believe I am those things. In my doubts I look at my mom and my grandma who have taught me a lot about being a lady. If I turn out to be a lady like them that's ok with me. They are classy ladies who aren't afraid to speak their minds and let their voices be heard. The things that I admire in them are the things I admire in others and are the things I want for myself.
And I want to continue to learn from them because they have taught me to be proud of myself no matter what.
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