Wants and Needs

This week I got to surprise my parents with the news that I hit a girl at a birthday party when I was in middle school. I could have sworn they knew because I always felt guilty and confessed when I did things that were wrong. It's always fun for me when I can surprise them, especially my mom cause she knows a lot about me. After I told them they both started laughing. Then mom made a great comment, she said "Ashley (my sister) hit boys when she was younger and evidently Abby hit girls." Now looking back I do think I could have handled the situation better. I didn't like something my friend at the time had said and it was concerning my brother Mikey. Hitting her was not the logical choice but the easy one. I have had a hard time controlling my anger at times and I have always been fiercely protective of the ones I love. And though I like that I am scrappy and that I fit Shakespeare's line from "Midsummer Night's Dream" that says "find though she is but little, she is fierce" that does not excuse me when I act on my anger. 

Anywho that was just a little side note that made me giggle this week and provided a laugh in the middle of a conversation that was a bit upsetting.

Here's what I really want to talk about. 

My mom and I share a lot about how God can only give good gifts. Usually we reference Luke 11:11-13 when sassy Jesus comes out and says "You guys are idiots but you can give good gifts. If you can give good gifts of course I can." Obviously I am paraphrasing but when I get to Luke 11 sometimes I scan over everything up until that point because I often need that reminder. But I miss a lot when I scan to the parts I want to hear.

Which actually fits really well with what I needed to hear this week.

In Luke 11 starting at verse five through verse eight Jesus tells this story I am coming to love -

Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.' Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is a friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs."

To me the key here is that the one asking gets what they need which is most likely more than what they asked for.

One of the reasons I say I have the best friends in the world is because they know how to give me what I need instead of what I want. When life gets rough and I ask for simple things from them they understand that I need something else on a deeper level. And if my friends understand that of course my relational God gets that.

I have often shared that I find that God gives me what I need instead of what I want. 

See I often don't want to ask for what I need or even see what I really need. The great thing is that my God does. He knows that when I cry out for some relief from my health issues what I really need is a peace within my soul about this life he continually calls me to live. He sees me coming to him with my head and heart full of worries and heartache. He sees my arms full of all the things I think I want. He tells me to let go of all the things I think are important and essential, to lighten my load. Time after time he takes those worries and that pain opening me up to see what is needed. And though I don't always see it right away he still meets my needs.

You see not only did he create me but he takes the time to know me. To know the sound of my heart cry. To know what is  truly going on under all my lame disguises. To see through my wants right into my soul's needs.