Won't let You go

First - I am not and have never been a baseball fan. I just think it's a slow moving game. Some people disagree and that's ok. But I am a history fan and so at first on Wednesday I was reading people's posts about game 7. While doing so I laughed at myself that my TV same like ten steps away and not on and about how no matter what this was a historic game. So I got out of bed and caught the last 5 minutes of the game. And I am glad I did and not just because I wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon but because it's one of those events where I thought this story will be told and I was alive during it. I think that a lot because a lot is going on in our world that we are currently alive for. I think that's cool and also sort of a big deal. And it was nice Wednesday for it to be something good and not something tragic as it so often is.

Second - Evidently people don't quite understand what I mean when I say I don't sleep or when I say I have insomnia. What I mean is that most nights I lay awake in bed in the dark unable to fall asleep, unable to get my brain to shut up and my body to stop hurting. I try to lay down by 10:00 because I know that even laying there is resting but most nights I do not fall asleep until sometime after 2:00. It's true that I don't have to be into work until 11:00 but I set my alarm for 8:00 for meany reasons including but not limited to meds. So you would think I would get 6 hours of sleep on a good night. But most nights are not good nights. Most nights consist of waking up multiple times for multiple reasons such as - I have to pee, I have had a nightmare that feels so real that I am scared to fall back asleep, or my favorite because my body have decided that and hour and a half of sleep is enough for now aka I am awake again for no apparent reason. I try not to make a big deal about this because it is my life and complaining about it won't help me sleep better and no one wants to hear someone talk about how tired they are. But if you think about it would you pray for me. Not sleeping is no fun and often leaves me feeling sick and/or emotional.

Not on to what I really want to talk about.

This week I was talking to a dear friend of mine and she is currently regretting some decisions she made over the past year or so. They were and still are good decisions but she lost some friends and now she is wondering if those decisions were right. Doubting those decisions has her doubting a lot of other things in life right now.

I wish I could say I didn't understanding what she is dealing with but I do. And so I am trying to speak into her life some of the things others spoke into mine and some of the tough lessons I learned along the way.

I have been trying to remind her that no matter what she is loved. That we serve a God who never lets us go. Who never loses sight of us. Who is never disgusted with us. Who always extends mercy, grace, and love. Who always calls us his.

I thought that maybe some of you could use that reminder too because life is hard and the father of lies is always fighting to pull us down. He tries to worm his way into very situation and make us feel little and horrible and invaluable. He tries to tell us that there is no way we could ever make things right.

But our God does not call us any of those things. And our God made a way for us.

I feel like Jon Foreman does a better job of speaking to this so I will let him via this song -

"There ain't no strength that's strong enough that could tear this love apart."