I didn't post yesterday because...
I went to church and then I went down by the river with some friends for a little praise and worship and then my family went out to Lowell park for a surprise birthday party for Phil who is our friend and who is married to my cousin Lisa...anyways by the time we got home at like 5:30 I fell asleep and didn't wake up again till 11:30-ish...and then quickly fell back asleep...
It's kind of frustrating that my shots aren't really working but then again I haven't felt like they have really worked like they should on me ever...but now it also seems that getting a blood transfusion doesn't really do anything either...so that's awesome...seeing both the kidney doctor and the transplant doctor in Peoria on Wednesday so I will let you know how that goes...
Before I talk about anything else I want to talk about something that mom and I have become obsessed with...we watch a lot of those dateline and/or 48 hour mystery things...usually when we watch them we take no real interest in the cases afterwards...and we usually think the people that they think are guilty are...last Friday night though was different...we can't stop talking about this case or looking up information about it...we are obsessed...not only that but during the whole show we couldn't believe that the kid they kept saying was convicted of the crime did it...there are so many reasons why like that he matches none of the physical evidence at the crime scene and the eye witnesses say that he's not the guy...but he was convicted on his friends "dreams" about the crime...lame...this guys name is Ryan Ferguson and I can't stop thinking about him and his case...I feel so bad for this guy that he and his family have been fighting for 7 years to get him out of prison and all the evidence they have collected to show that he wasn't there and to show that stories don't match up...and it hasn't been until recently that the courts have decided that sure they will look at the evidence...mom and I are so obsessed with this case that we have written him letters while he is in jail and plan on writing him again...I could probably go into detail about everything and take up this whole post with that but I doubt people read my blog to read about someones life other than mine...but if you want to know more information or want to know why I am so obsessed with this case I will gladly tell you more about it and so will mom...we really don't understand why he was convicted it makes no sense...
On to something else...
I have been thinking a lot this week and last week about how this time last year I was heading off to Arizona...to say I was scared would be an understatement of the situation and of my emotions...what I have been thinking the most about though is the feeling I would get at the airport when I was traveling alone...now let me clarify first that I am glad I went to Arizona and I did learn a lot and make some great friends...but that doesn't compensate for the fact that I am a huge homebody and just want to be home in IL around my family all the time no matter what...I have been think about how when I would get dropped off at the airport...after goodbyes and everyone would leave I would get such a sinking feeling of loneliness...many times I would be sitting in the airport alone thinking don't cry around all these people...suck it up your fine...first because well I hate crying not just in front of people but crying at all...and because at that point I knew once I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop crying...but then when I would get home to the airport and I would see my family in the airport or pull up to pick me up...that was probably the best feeling in the world ever...even though it was the best feeling I am glad that I don't have to deal with that same roll coaster of emotion this year...sure I have another one to deal with as my health goes crazy...but that's totally different and not quite as bad in my opinion...I mean it been quite a few months...since before I got home from Arizona that I called or texted one of my friends to say that I hated my life and was crying like crazy...so that's a plus...
I could talk about other things from this week...like how much fun I had with my friends despite feeling like crap...or tell you how much I laughed with my friends while getting my transfusion in the hospital and how I think even the nurses were surprised we were having so much fun in the hospital...but then this post would go on forever and ever and it would be full on inside jokes that many of you wouldn't understand or be able to understand cause not all my friends know each other or the humor of the different types of people...so instead I think I will quickly talk about my new favorite Steven Curtis Chapman song...first I should tell you buy his new CD Recreation...his last CD Beauty Will Rise was amazing and the songs were full of pain and hurt about what had happened to him and his family...this CD even though some of the songs are old songs "recreated" its full of hope for the future as he looks forward to how God is going to use his family and their story and bring beauty from their pain...my favorite song on the CD is called "Long Way Home"...if you don't know this yet I love talking about and thinking about Heaven...and this song is about Heaven...my favorite lines are when he sings "I got some rocks in my shoes fears I wish I could lose they make the mountains so hard to climb and my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes there's a bag of regrets my should've beens and not yets I keep on dragging around and I can hardly wait for the day I get to lay it all down I that day is coming I know it's gonna be here soon and I won't turn back even if the whole world says I'm going the wrong way cause it's just a long way home...and even on the best days He says to remember we're not home yet so don't get to comfortable cause really all we are is just pilgrims passing through"...for me the weights of life do get heavy and become such a nuisance and I can't wait to finally get home and not have to deal with them anymore...sure they are helping me now glorify God and hopefully show others how great God is despite how messed up life is but when I get to Heaven and don't have to deal with them anymore...well ya'll better be partying with me because me and Jesus are going to be partying for sure...just saying
It's kind of frustrating that my shots aren't really working but then again I haven't felt like they have really worked like they should on me ever...but now it also seems that getting a blood transfusion doesn't really do anything either...so that's awesome...seeing both the kidney doctor and the transplant doctor in Peoria on Wednesday so I will let you know how that goes...
Before I talk about anything else I want to talk about something that mom and I have become obsessed with...we watch a lot of those dateline and/or 48 hour mystery things...usually when we watch them we take no real interest in the cases afterwards...and we usually think the people that they think are guilty are...last Friday night though was different...we can't stop talking about this case or looking up information about it...we are obsessed...not only that but during the whole show we couldn't believe that the kid they kept saying was convicted of the crime did it...there are so many reasons why like that he matches none of the physical evidence at the crime scene and the eye witnesses say that he's not the guy...but he was convicted on his friends "dreams" about the crime...lame...this guys name is Ryan Ferguson and I can't stop thinking about him and his case...I feel so bad for this guy that he and his family have been fighting for 7 years to get him out of prison and all the evidence they have collected to show that he wasn't there and to show that stories don't match up...and it hasn't been until recently that the courts have decided that sure they will look at the evidence...mom and I are so obsessed with this case that we have written him letters while he is in jail and plan on writing him again...I could probably go into detail about everything and take up this whole post with that but I doubt people read my blog to read about someones life other than mine...but if you want to know more information or want to know why I am so obsessed with this case I will gladly tell you more about it and so will mom...we really don't understand why he was convicted it makes no sense...
On to something else...
I have been thinking a lot this week and last week about how this time last year I was heading off to Arizona...to say I was scared would be an understatement of the situation and of my emotions...what I have been thinking the most about though is the feeling I would get at the airport when I was traveling alone...now let me clarify first that I am glad I went to Arizona and I did learn a lot and make some great friends...but that doesn't compensate for the fact that I am a huge homebody and just want to be home in IL around my family all the time no matter what...I have been think about how when I would get dropped off at the airport...after goodbyes and everyone would leave I would get such a sinking feeling of loneliness...many times I would be sitting in the airport alone thinking don't cry around all these people...suck it up your fine...first because well I hate crying not just in front of people but crying at all...and because at that point I knew once I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop crying...but then when I would get home to the airport and I would see my family in the airport or pull up to pick me up...that was probably the best feeling in the world ever...even though it was the best feeling I am glad that I don't have to deal with that same roll coaster of emotion this year...sure I have another one to deal with as my health goes crazy...but that's totally different and not quite as bad in my opinion...I mean it been quite a few months...since before I got home from Arizona that I called or texted one of my friends to say that I hated my life and was crying like crazy...so that's a plus...
I could talk about other things from this week...like how much fun I had with my friends despite feeling like crap...or tell you how much I laughed with my friends while getting my transfusion in the hospital and how I think even the nurses were surprised we were having so much fun in the hospital...but then this post would go on forever and ever and it would be full on inside jokes that many of you wouldn't understand or be able to understand cause not all my friends know each other or the humor of the different types of people...so instead I think I will quickly talk about my new favorite Steven Curtis Chapman song...first I should tell you buy his new CD Recreation...his last CD Beauty Will Rise was amazing and the songs were full of pain and hurt about what had happened to him and his family...this CD even though some of the songs are old songs "recreated" its full of hope for the future as he looks forward to how God is going to use his family and their story and bring beauty from their pain...my favorite song on the CD is called "Long Way Home"...if you don't know this yet I love talking about and thinking about Heaven...and this song is about Heaven...my favorite lines are when he sings "I got some rocks in my shoes fears I wish I could lose they make the mountains so hard to climb and my heart gets so heavy with the weight of the world sometimes there's a bag of regrets my should've beens and not yets I keep on dragging around and I can hardly wait for the day I get to lay it all down I that day is coming I know it's gonna be here soon and I won't turn back even if the whole world says I'm going the wrong way cause it's just a long way home...and even on the best days He says to remember we're not home yet so don't get to comfortable cause really all we are is just pilgrims passing through"...for me the weights of life do get heavy and become such a nuisance and I can't wait to finally get home and not have to deal with them anymore...sure they are helping me now glorify God and hopefully show others how great God is despite how messed up life is but when I get to Heaven and don't have to deal with them anymore...well ya'll better be partying with me because me and Jesus are going to be partying for sure...just saying
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