You might have heard this week has been a little crazy...
I had to go to the hospital yesterday to get a blood transfusion whwn I was nine days away from my six week mark from my last transfusion...I had to deal with Dr. Bruha from Peoria again....and a nurse that worked with him...both of them were difficult...Friday night Dr. Bruha wanted me to go to Peoria and be admitted to the hospital when all I needed was a blood transfusion...when I said I wasn't going to do that instead I would go to the local hospital thats close to my house to get a transfusion in the morning since I wasn't about to leave my friends wedding to go to the hospital...the nurse continued to talk to me like I was an idiot...then in the morning when on the way to the hospital the same nurse called me agian and said Dr. Bruha really wanted me to go to Peoria to be admitted...when I said no yet again she said that Dr. Bruha wasn't going to send orders to my local hospital...so then I told her I would get a doctor from Dixon to write an order...so we had to figure that out yesterday once we were at the hospital and then get the transfusion eventually...I went to the hospital at about 9 in the morning and didn't get home till about 8:30...and then I still had to do dialysis...so mom and I didn't get to bed till about midnight...which sucked...
When it came to my blood I decided to have mom draw my blood to be tested anyways since there was a place on the sheet I had to send in with the blood that I had to put the date of my last transfusion on...I figured why not send my blood in...they will see when my last transfusion was and they can decided if they think it is ready to be tested against Randy's or not since some medical professional people have said six weeks is what you have to do while others have said you don't have to do six weeks...so I guess we will see...I am just ready for this to be over...I am ready to have a transplant and be done with dealing with the testing and transfusions and dialysis...its wearing on me a lot and I am finding it harder and harder to control my emotions...which is no fun since I hate crying and I find myself crying more and more...
On the bright side a lady that works at Walmart made my week this week...here's the story...mom and I when we go to Walmart and go to check out we always look for people we sort of know...we have gotten to know people because we looked for the same people after a while that were friendly or packed our reusable bags really full...well this lady Lori is both of those and she is a lot of fun...one time when we were in there and she was checking our stuff out we got to talking to her about my health and how I need a kidney transplant...from then on she keeps offering to give me a kidney...this past week when we went in there on Wednesday we went to her as always and got talking a little about my health again because she had noticed we hadn't been in a while and missed us so we talked about how I was in Peoria and had been really sick...then as she talked about this next thing she was almost crying and then mom and I were almost crying...she was telling us that she had dream about me that she was a match for me to be a donor and then later she told her husband about her dream and about me...when she told him that she would donate a kidney to me if I needed it she said her husband was crying a little...and he said would you really do that...to which she said yeah I would this girl is so sweet and so nice she doesn't deserve this...and she just kept going on and on about how nice I am...and I was standing there listening to her and I thought this lady doesn't even really know me and she is going on and on about how nice I am...plus it was also weird to me and made me want to cry that here is this lady that doesn' know that I am having some really crap days and she is encouraging me more than some of my friends who know I have been having a hard time right now...so it was good and bad all at the same time but I am glad it happened...I could still use some more encouraging though and really so could my whole family...yes we talk about how this is my life but that doesn't mean it isn't still hard and that doesn't mean it doesn't wear on us at times...so encouragement right now would be more than welcomed...
On a whole different note...in church today pastor talked about a few of these verses...I thought of something else about them thought that I thought I would share...he shared Phil 4:6&7 which says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." when I read this today it made me think about how have told me and my family in the past that they don't know how we do it...they don't know how we deal with all these health issues and how I can at times still be so upbeat about life...though I am not saying I do this perfectly I am saying those verses explain why...and at times I don't even get it because really it transcends my understanding....all I know is I have given my life to God...He is in charge to do what He wants so I try not to be anxious about things and I try to be thankful with what I have been given and the rest really is up to Him...and that does leave me with a peace that I can't really explain to people and that people don't always get...
Pastor also read Romans 12:15&18 this morning but didn't really touch on 15 much but that's more of where I want to focus...Romans 12:15&18 says "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn...If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." for some reason when I was reading this today...verses that I have read a million times I thought whoa...here's why...in verse 15 to me he is saying if someone is crying cry with them comfort them...don't tell them how you understand...don't give them empty words that could be found inside multiple hallmark cards...really feel their pain...just like if they are celebrating...don't belittle what is going on in their lives in anyway no matter what but feel it with them...which to me ties into verse 18 because if we are being that true friend who really is there for our friends wither it be in the trenches or on mountain tops peace will come naturally because there is no reason for discord...I just thought that was kind of cool and pretty true as well...cause think about it...when your friends are doing something awesome you have no reason to complain about them or talk about them badly behind their back because they are being real friends...it is when they aren't good friends that we all complain...just something to think about about maybe work on a little...I know that I all to often don't really take the time to really mourn or to really celebrate with my friends because I am caught up in my own life and my own agenda...that doesn't help them or me out but hurts our friendship...
When it came to my blood I decided to have mom draw my blood to be tested anyways since there was a place on the sheet I had to send in with the blood that I had to put the date of my last transfusion on...I figured why not send my blood in...they will see when my last transfusion was and they can decided if they think it is ready to be tested against Randy's or not since some medical professional people have said six weeks is what you have to do while others have said you don't have to do six weeks...so I guess we will see...I am just ready for this to be over...I am ready to have a transplant and be done with dealing with the testing and transfusions and dialysis...its wearing on me a lot and I am finding it harder and harder to control my emotions...which is no fun since I hate crying and I find myself crying more and more...
On the bright side a lady that works at Walmart made my week this week...here's the story...mom and I when we go to Walmart and go to check out we always look for people we sort of know...we have gotten to know people because we looked for the same people after a while that were friendly or packed our reusable bags really full...well this lady Lori is both of those and she is a lot of fun...one time when we were in there and she was checking our stuff out we got to talking to her about my health and how I need a kidney transplant...from then on she keeps offering to give me a kidney...this past week when we went in there on Wednesday we went to her as always and got talking a little about my health again because she had noticed we hadn't been in a while and missed us so we talked about how I was in Peoria and had been really sick...then as she talked about this next thing she was almost crying and then mom and I were almost crying...she was telling us that she had dream about me that she was a match for me to be a donor and then later she told her husband about her dream and about me...when she told him that she would donate a kidney to me if I needed it she said her husband was crying a little...and he said would you really do that...to which she said yeah I would this girl is so sweet and so nice she doesn't deserve this...and she just kept going on and on about how nice I am...and I was standing there listening to her and I thought this lady doesn't even really know me and she is going on and on about how nice I am...plus it was also weird to me and made me want to cry that here is this lady that doesn' know that I am having some really crap days and she is encouraging me more than some of my friends who know I have been having a hard time right now...so it was good and bad all at the same time but I am glad it happened...I could still use some more encouraging though and really so could my whole family...yes we talk about how this is my life but that doesn't mean it isn't still hard and that doesn't mean it doesn't wear on us at times...so encouragement right now would be more than welcomed...
On a whole different note...in church today pastor talked about a few of these verses...I thought of something else about them thought that I thought I would share...he shared Phil 4:6&7 which says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." when I read this today it made me think about how have told me and my family in the past that they don't know how we do it...they don't know how we deal with all these health issues and how I can at times still be so upbeat about life...though I am not saying I do this perfectly I am saying those verses explain why...and at times I don't even get it because really it transcends my understanding....all I know is I have given my life to God...He is in charge to do what He wants so I try not to be anxious about things and I try to be thankful with what I have been given and the rest really is up to Him...and that does leave me with a peace that I can't really explain to people and that people don't always get...
Pastor also read Romans 12:15&18 this morning but didn't really touch on 15 much but that's more of where I want to focus...Romans 12:15&18 says "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn...If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." for some reason when I was reading this today...verses that I have read a million times I thought whoa...here's why...in verse 15 to me he is saying if someone is crying cry with them comfort them...don't tell them how you understand...don't give them empty words that could be found inside multiple hallmark cards...really feel their pain...just like if they are celebrating...don't belittle what is going on in their lives in anyway no matter what but feel it with them...which to me ties into verse 18 because if we are being that true friend who really is there for our friends wither it be in the trenches or on mountain tops peace will come naturally because there is no reason for discord...I just thought that was kind of cool and pretty true as well...cause think about it...when your friends are doing something awesome you have no reason to complain about them or talk about them badly behind their back because they are being real friends...it is when they aren't good friends that we all complain...just something to think about about maybe work on a little...I know that I all to often don't really take the time to really mourn or to really celebrate with my friends because I am caught up in my own life and my own agenda...that doesn't help them or me out but hurts our friendship...
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