I knew this week was going to be hard
After the last couple days I am frustrated upset with life and pissed about a lot of things...I can't really speak for my family but I am pretty sure mom and dad are pretty frustrated and annoyed by this all too...I don't know about them but that leaves me with little patience in dealing with anything or anyone right now...
We really don't know anything much right now...all that happened the other day to send me in this downward tailspin of emotions is that I got a call from the transplant offices saying that because of my low hemoglobin and my recent ulcer they were putting my transplant status as on hold until that all was under control...right after telling me this she asked me if I had any questions and at that moment I didn't because I was just in shock...we haven't been able to ask the millions of questions that we have so there is no way we will be able to answer your questions either...so if we don't give you information we are not trying to be rude we just don't know anything...so since there is nothing to tell we can't really say anything...
Today when I talked to my nurse Kathy I started to ask her about it but she is a dialysis nurse and didn't know...she said transplant offices only ever call them to tell them someone had a transplant...she said she would have to ask Dr Sader but it might be easier for us to ask him when we see him so we can understand from him what is going on...she said she thought he already knew though and was already upset with that and trying to fight it...she said when she called him to tell him my hemoglobin was 6.2 she said he cussed...which is not very Dr Sader like so he must be upset about all this too which makes me feel a little better...
Right now I am at KSB for a blood transfusion...probably be here all day...might get bored...gonna try to do some homework...idk...
Emotionally right now I am mainly just pissed...I am trying to not be too emotion because I don't know how much good it will do me...but I am human so those emotions are normal...I also get really frustrated...been telling God how jacked up this all is...and that I am having a hard time with seeing how this is good and seeing how he is good right now...lucky he doesn't change with my emotions...I also told him he owed me...cause I am tired of going along with all this and only ever get bad news all the time...sucks big time...I don't just want but need something super good to bright my mood and my outlook on life right now...
On the bright side my nurse got the IV in on her first try...love not having to be poked a million times...and I have also decided that I am gonna do whatever I want...I have been trying so hard to take it easy and not do more than I should but I still end up sick anyways and needing blood anyways so I might as well live my life a little...so I may start proposing to do more things like go to the movies or something so I don't have to sit around the house all the time anymore...I'm sick of feeling like I am waiting for my life to start again...
We really don't know anything much right now...all that happened the other day to send me in this downward tailspin of emotions is that I got a call from the transplant offices saying that because of my low hemoglobin and my recent ulcer they were putting my transplant status as on hold until that all was under control...right after telling me this she asked me if I had any questions and at that moment I didn't because I was just in shock...we haven't been able to ask the millions of questions that we have so there is no way we will be able to answer your questions either...so if we don't give you information we are not trying to be rude we just don't know anything...so since there is nothing to tell we can't really say anything...
Today when I talked to my nurse Kathy I started to ask her about it but she is a dialysis nurse and didn't know...she said transplant offices only ever call them to tell them someone had a transplant...she said she would have to ask Dr Sader but it might be easier for us to ask him when we see him so we can understand from him what is going on...she said she thought he already knew though and was already upset with that and trying to fight it...she said when she called him to tell him my hemoglobin was 6.2 she said he cussed...which is not very Dr Sader like so he must be upset about all this too which makes me feel a little better...
Right now I am at KSB for a blood transfusion...probably be here all day...might get bored...gonna try to do some homework...idk...
Emotionally right now I am mainly just pissed...I am trying to not be too emotion because I don't know how much good it will do me...but I am human so those emotions are normal...I also get really frustrated...been telling God how jacked up this all is...and that I am having a hard time with seeing how this is good and seeing how he is good right now...lucky he doesn't change with my emotions...I also told him he owed me...cause I am tired of going along with all this and only ever get bad news all the time...sucks big time...I don't just want but need something super good to bright my mood and my outlook on life right now...
On the bright side my nurse got the IV in on her first try...love not having to be poked a million times...and I have also decided that I am gonna do whatever I want...I have been trying so hard to take it easy and not do more than I should but I still end up sick anyways and needing blood anyways so I might as well live my life a little...so I may start proposing to do more things like go to the movies or something so I don't have to sit around the house all the time anymore...I'm sick of feeling like I am waiting for my life to start again...
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