Week Two

I survived week two!

I still love my job and I am so thankful for a job that I love and for all the moments I have had where I have felt like "this is why I was hired."

But it has been overwhelming - to quickly move, to quickly start a new job, to train in something new everyday. Tomorrow I start my normal hours of working the "late shift" which is another way that this job is perfect for me. But tomorrow I also start training with tech help and I am so nervous. This is that part of the job that I am not sure I can do. I know that's why I have training but it is still really nerve wracking.

Besides that I am realizing that I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself to get everything right right away when no one else expects that of me. I get mad when I make mistakes but I've only worked for the school two weeks so of course I am going to make mistakes. I have to remind myself of that a lot.

It's like I feel like I want to show that they made the right decision in hiring me and wanting me. Which is ridiculous because I have already been told that they were so happy when I accepted the position because that is how badly they wanted me. Even more ridiculous that I have been trying to prove myself when I don't have to because they already love things about me like that I grew up reading comic books, that I am not afraid to ask questions, that I have ideas for things, and that I have been able to fix some different things. I mention the thing about comic books because this week I became the resident expert and one of the advocates for the graphic novel/comic book collection in our library - this is why I was hired.

On the bright side I really enjoy the majority of the people I work with. The guys in tech help like me and think I am funny. My supervisor and the librarian love having me and we already have been side tracked talking about non-work things because we all have similar interests. There are a few people that we don't see eye to eye on how to behave in a work environment but I know I would have that anywhere. So I am trying to learn to not let their actions and moods effect mine.

Even though I haven't been out and about in my town that much it does already feel a bit like home. I love coming back to my house at the end of the day. I love my quiet neighborhood. I have been back in Dixon every weekend so far but I have had things going on that I need to take care of or that we already had planned like Gardenstock. Even though it was hot and the heat eventually drove us to leave I had a lot of fun.

I am still trying to find a church but I am sure something will eventually be right. God already blew my mind with a job so I have no doubt that he will blow my mind with a wonderful church family here.

If you think about it this week I would love if you would pray for me to be calm and give myself a break.
If you find yourself in similar shoes - I'll be taking a deep, calming breath with you often.