in 10 days it will offically be 20 years since I first got sick
I'm not quite sure how to start this blog...not that I don't feel like I have anything to say I just don't know where to start...normally I say something about my week...and I did have a good week...I got to spend a lot of time with my friends...but I have already said a million times how much I love my friends and how much they mean to me...
I will say that I like to think my friends are way better than Job's friends from the Bible...I was reading a little bit in Job the other day and even though I think is friends end up being pretty crappy friends I have to admit that at first they do the right thing...in Job 2:13 the Bible says "Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was."...I love that...they saw how great his suffering was a sat in silence with him...they didn't try to solve his pain...they sat with him in the ashes while he picked at his scabs with pieces of pottery...they understood at first that their words no matter if they were in love or wisdom or what that they would be no good...so they sat with him in silence experiancing his pain with him for seven days...how often do we take the time to even sit with someone for even a few mintues in silence...all to often we are people who want solve problems or fill the silence so that we don't have to feel uncomfortable...I'm guilty of this...I don't take the time to see the true depth of peoples pain...I don't take the time to sit in silence with them trying to understoand their pain or where they are coming from...I often times don't even stick around if people start crying because I get uncomfortable...not saying I want to totally be like Job's friends though because they end up being condemming but I do want to learn to better see peoples true pain...and be whatever they need from me even if that means sitting with them in silence for what feels like forever...
for me sometimes that exactly what I need...I rarely need to be reminded of God's goodness but I do need to be reminded that people love me and care about me and are glad to see me even if I am feeling like crap...a lot of different things have been said and done for me in the past and even today...I can't tell you waht has ment the most to me or what has been the best...but I can tell you that today when someone quickly put their arm around my shoulder and "said we'll be thinking about you and praying for you tomorrow" and then walked away...that ment more to me than anything else...it wasn't big or showy or really that specail...it was simple but made me know that I was cared about and loved...that was all I needed...
something that I have been thinking about a lot this week is how frustrated I get with people who seem to waste their lives and who don't see how good they have it...Job says in 3:20-23 "Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul, to those who long for death that does not come, who search for it more than for hidden treasure, who are filled with gladness and rejoice when they reach the grave? Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?"...sometimes I get around people and I get more salty (moody) than I was before because I hear people complain about the dumbest things or I see how they take advantage of their bodies and don't take care for themselves...it makes me mad...I try to take care of my body and yet no matter what I do I am still sick and getting sicker by the day...there is nothing I can do about that...I have no control...so then when I see people overeating or not exercising or not watching what they eat or anything else that is obviously damaging to their bodies it drives me a little crazy...I wish I had the option to feel good with or without taking care of myself bt I don't because most of the time I don't even feel good when I do take care of myself...to me I feel like I see how good life can and could be and yet I can't fully experiance it because I am limited by my health...yet others who aren't limited don't see how truly great this life could be...I don't know I just get so moody about so many things when I don't feel good and I feel bad about that...my moodiness is one of the reasons I don't go out mch...I don't want to be snapping at people for things that aren't their fault or because I am frustrated with my own life that day...especailly because knowing how fast my mood changes I will go through the cycle of hating my life then loving my life twenty times over in a minute...
I will say that I like to think my friends are way better than Job's friends from the Bible...I was reading a little bit in Job the other day and even though I think is friends end up being pretty crappy friends I have to admit that at first they do the right thing...in Job 2:13 the Bible says "Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was."...I love that...they saw how great his suffering was a sat in silence with him...they didn't try to solve his pain...they sat with him in the ashes while he picked at his scabs with pieces of pottery...they understood at first that their words no matter if they were in love or wisdom or what that they would be no good...so they sat with him in silence experiancing his pain with him for seven days...how often do we take the time to even sit with someone for even a few mintues in silence...all to often we are people who want solve problems or fill the silence so that we don't have to feel uncomfortable...I'm guilty of this...I don't take the time to see the true depth of peoples pain...I don't take the time to sit in silence with them trying to understoand their pain or where they are coming from...I often times don't even stick around if people start crying because I get uncomfortable...not saying I want to totally be like Job's friends though because they end up being condemming but I do want to learn to better see peoples true pain...and be whatever they need from me even if that means sitting with them in silence for what feels like forever...
for me sometimes that exactly what I need...I rarely need to be reminded of God's goodness but I do need to be reminded that people love me and care about me and are glad to see me even if I am feeling like crap...a lot of different things have been said and done for me in the past and even today...I can't tell you waht has ment the most to me or what has been the best...but I can tell you that today when someone quickly put their arm around my shoulder and "said we'll be thinking about you and praying for you tomorrow" and then walked away...that ment more to me than anything else...it wasn't big or showy or really that specail...it was simple but made me know that I was cared about and loved...that was all I needed...
something that I have been thinking about a lot this week is how frustrated I get with people who seem to waste their lives and who don't see how good they have it...Job says in 3:20-23 "Why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter of soul, to those who long for death that does not come, who search for it more than for hidden treasure, who are filled with gladness and rejoice when they reach the grave? Why is life given to a man whose way is hidden, whom God has hedged in?"...sometimes I get around people and I get more salty (moody) than I was before because I hear people complain about the dumbest things or I see how they take advantage of their bodies and don't take care for themselves...it makes me mad...I try to take care of my body and yet no matter what I do I am still sick and getting sicker by the day...there is nothing I can do about that...I have no control...so then when I see people overeating or not exercising or not watching what they eat or anything else that is obviously damaging to their bodies it drives me a little crazy...I wish I had the option to feel good with or without taking care of myself bt I don't because most of the time I don't even feel good when I do take care of myself...to me I feel like I see how good life can and could be and yet I can't fully experiance it because I am limited by my health...yet others who aren't limited don't see how truly great this life could be...I don't know I just get so moody about so many things when I don't feel good and I feel bad about that...my moodiness is one of the reasons I don't go out mch...I don't want to be snapping at people for things that aren't their fault or because I am frustrated with my own life that day...especailly because knowing how fast my mood changes I will go through the cycle of hating my life then loving my life twenty times over in a minute...
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