day late
Do you ever have times when your mind feels so crammed full of a million thoughts its like your mind is blank? I know that probably makes no sense but that's how my head feels right now. Like it's racing so much that I can't focus on anything and it makes me feel a like I am constantly staring off into space trying to find some peace in the choas in my mind. I think a big part of that is that this week has felt so long and crazy and my emotions have been everywhere that I'm still processing everything.
I sort of just have felt like everyday there has been something going on to keep me busy or to push my limits and challenge me. Thinking about my week I know I haven't actually done that much but I have this uneasy overwhelming feeling covering me that makes me feel like I am just going to lose it crying at any second. Sort like you get when you are really busy and you know you have taken on too much and you feel like you can't catch your breath. That's how I feel right now. Even though I have been my normal have no energy to do anything self I think I am feeling so out of it because I have been pretty sick and yet trying to pretent I am not so that I can celebrate the things of this week like my anniversary or Mountian of Praise this weekend.
Speaking of Mountian of Praise (MOP) it was great as per usual. It's funny it's a music festival and I do enjoy going and listening to some of the bands play but I really go to see the people that I know. I feel like it's a family reunion and I love it. This weekend we cried a lot at our faI mily reunion of sorts. It's weird usually this is our once a year catch up and love on eachother time but this year for some reason felt different in a good way. Different like better. From what I saw and felt it was like we all needed eachother and wanted to be around eachother more than ever. Like we all saw just how important our relationships are and how much we all mean to eachother. That to me felt really good. I needed that and needed to feel all that love.
I have to say that I am blessed to have so many people in my life that love me and want to take care of me. When you are a moody Mandy having people that still want to be around you is amazing. Then add to that the fact that I can't really do much of anything and yet still having my personality of wanting to be busy busy busy makes it hard. As I have said before it makes me feel pretty useless at times.
I don't know I still feel like everything in me is all jumbled up and like I just need to cry or sleep. Sometimes life can just be frustrating and feel like it's to much and right now that's how it feels.
I sort of just have felt like everyday there has been something going on to keep me busy or to push my limits and challenge me. Thinking about my week I know I haven't actually done that much but I have this uneasy overwhelming feeling covering me that makes me feel like I am just going to lose it crying at any second. Sort like you get when you are really busy and you know you have taken on too much and you feel like you can't catch your breath. That's how I feel right now. Even though I have been my normal have no energy to do anything self I think I am feeling so out of it because I have been pretty sick and yet trying to pretent I am not so that I can celebrate the things of this week like my anniversary or Mountian of Praise this weekend.
Speaking of Mountian of Praise (MOP) it was great as per usual. It's funny it's a music festival and I do enjoy going and listening to some of the bands play but I really go to see the people that I know. I feel like it's a family reunion and I love it. This weekend we cried a lot at our faI mily reunion of sorts. It's weird usually this is our once a year catch up and love on eachother time but this year for some reason felt different in a good way. Different like better. From what I saw and felt it was like we all needed eachother and wanted to be around eachother more than ever. Like we all saw just how important our relationships are and how much we all mean to eachother. That to me felt really good. I needed that and needed to feel all that love.
I have to say that I am blessed to have so many people in my life that love me and want to take care of me. When you are a moody Mandy having people that still want to be around you is amazing. Then add to that the fact that I can't really do much of anything and yet still having my personality of wanting to be busy busy busy makes it hard. As I have said before it makes me feel pretty useless at times.
I don't know I still feel like everything in me is all jumbled up and like I just need to cry or sleep. Sometimes life can just be frustrating and feel like it's to much and right now that's how it feels.
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