Battles

I feel like I don't quite know how to talk about this week.

I got stressed out and annoyed and I freaked out. Not at anyone not even when anyone was around. But I lost it a bit in my car yelling and then at home yelling some more. Which then translated into crying most of the weekend. Like can't stop having a hard time breathing crying.

I am putting a lot of pressure on myself at work to not mess up and do as much as I can in this project I am working on. Which is then stressing me out. Then because I am stressed out little things are annoying me quickly. Things that I am still learning to deal with and ignore are instead pulling me down with incredible force and weight.

This is also making it easier for the devils lies to seep in and take root which also causes more stress and doubt.

And I gotta be honest fighting all of that daily and even by the hour and minute is wearing me out.

And so at the moment I am more often than I would like to believing the lies because I am so worn out that I feel sometimes like I can't always make sense of what is what.

And that is a really rough place to be.

Also add to that the loneliness of feeling isolated in a place that is still very new to me. A place where I am feeling cut off from my friends and where it has become easy to feel forgotten...more lies that are easy to believe.

If you think about it continue to pray for and encourage me.
If you have someone else in your life who may be feeling this way - encourage them, do battle with them. It's a rough fight but I have found it is made easier when we are not alone.