Craptastic
I guess I should tell you about my doctors appointment but nothing really happened...my doctor just seemed pretty convinced that my mass could be removed with the scope so that I don't have to be cut open...which is nice...and he kept stressing that I really need to the mass removed...which I get because I am the one who is in pain...
I have been trying to get in the Christmas spirit...it works sometimes...at first I was wrapping present but that didn't really work because I wrapped over 30 present...or all the presents under our tree...and I kept thinking about how in the past it seems like I can only wrap the presents wrong...according to some people...so if I hear any complaining this year next year everyone is getting their presents in plastic bags...so that sort of killed my Christmas spirit...then today I made a gingerbread house and couldn't stop laughing the whole time...I also had to remind myself that Christmas is not about what people think about how I wrapped their presents...but instead about the Most High King coming to Earth to have a relationship with me...which is kind of a big deal...
Truthfully though I am still a bit of a moody Mandy...for some reason I keep thinking about some of the dumb things that people have said to me...it's like people think that just because I am having a shit day and I am not afraid to say I am having a shit day that I have forgotten about Jesus or something...so let me clear it up...just because my day is craptastic doesn't mean that I have totally forgotten about who I belong to and what he has done for me...
I think people miss understand me because I don't think life is always hunky dorry like some people seem to think...I see life as full of ups and downs...I am not just going to notice the good times and not the bad...I know that life is rough sometimes but I am going to cling to God in all those circumstances...
I think in general at least in America...we expect things to be good...we don't think bad things should happen to us...but bad things happen to everyone...it's a fact of life...sometimes God even tells us bad things will happen...it makes me think of Isaiah who was told by God I want you to speak to these people but they won't listen to you...that had to be hard and suck...and he even said it was...and there are so many more examples of bad things happening to God's people...but they never gave up on God and he never gave up on them...and those are the stories that change lives...
So yeah you are going to have craptastic days and so am I...and I am going to have plenty more days where I want everyone to leave me alone followed by days where I feel lonely...but that's part of being alive...and feeling those things and saying those things doesn't make me bad...or mean that I have stopped loving Jesus or trusting in him...all it means is that I am having a bad day where I am emotional...and maybe swearing a lot...and crying a lot...but God loves me through those things and doesn't tell me I am wrong for feeling how I feel...he doesn't question my faith in him or tell me that I am not his because I said shit...
Sometimes I think Christians try to put up a front like they are perfect...and the world doesn't know how to relate to that...the truth is that we are not perfect...we serve a perfect God and he loves us through our imperfections...
I have been trying to get in the Christmas spirit...it works sometimes...at first I was wrapping present but that didn't really work because I wrapped over 30 present...or all the presents under our tree...and I kept thinking about how in the past it seems like I can only wrap the presents wrong...according to some people...so if I hear any complaining this year next year everyone is getting their presents in plastic bags...so that sort of killed my Christmas spirit...then today I made a gingerbread house and couldn't stop laughing the whole time...I also had to remind myself that Christmas is not about what people think about how I wrapped their presents...but instead about the Most High King coming to Earth to have a relationship with me...which is kind of a big deal...
Truthfully though I am still a bit of a moody Mandy...for some reason I keep thinking about some of the dumb things that people have said to me...it's like people think that just because I am having a shit day and I am not afraid to say I am having a shit day that I have forgotten about Jesus or something...so let me clear it up...just because my day is craptastic doesn't mean that I have totally forgotten about who I belong to and what he has done for me...
I think people miss understand me because I don't think life is always hunky dorry like some people seem to think...I see life as full of ups and downs...I am not just going to notice the good times and not the bad...I know that life is rough sometimes but I am going to cling to God in all those circumstances...
I think in general at least in America...we expect things to be good...we don't think bad things should happen to us...but bad things happen to everyone...it's a fact of life...sometimes God even tells us bad things will happen...it makes me think of Isaiah who was told by God I want you to speak to these people but they won't listen to you...that had to be hard and suck...and he even said it was...and there are so many more examples of bad things happening to God's people...but they never gave up on God and he never gave up on them...and those are the stories that change lives...
So yeah you are going to have craptastic days and so am I...and I am going to have plenty more days where I want everyone to leave me alone followed by days where I feel lonely...but that's part of being alive...and feeling those things and saying those things doesn't make me bad...or mean that I have stopped loving Jesus or trusting in him...all it means is that I am having a bad day where I am emotional...and maybe swearing a lot...and crying a lot...but God loves me through those things and doesn't tell me I am wrong for feeling how I feel...he doesn't question my faith in him or tell me that I am not his because I said shit...
Sometimes I think Christians try to put up a front like they are perfect...and the world doesn't know how to relate to that...the truth is that we are not perfect...we serve a perfect God and he loves us through our imperfections...
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