Hope

I had an appointment today with my kidney doctor...and well there really isn't anything to report...I mean we did talk about a lot of things but there is nothing new to report...he is happy I am having this thing removed from my stomach because he said swelling can prevent red blood cell growth and he thinks I could be losing blood from it...I also told him that my kidney felt hard and sometimes it hurt...he told me to keep a close eye on that because it could mean rejection...and more problems for me...he told me side effects to be aware of and call them right away about if they happened so that I could get into see one of the surgeons to get my kidney removed...but having my one kidney removed can cause a lot of problems too...I am praying that this kidney can hold out a little longer till we find a match...and would appreciate your prayers for that as well...he seemed really concerned when I told him I was having kidney pain...which makes me feel like I really need to pay attention to how my kidney feels now...

Besides that the trip today was relaxing for me...mom and I talked on the way there as per usual...but then on the way home we cranked the music and had a little bit of praise and worship time...felt good...and we ate supper at Panera..so that was super delish...

Today one of the things that mom and I talked about was me getting into the Masters program...and she had to remind me how smart I am...I told her that the director of the public library who I have talked to a few times and who I think is super smart said she didn't get in the first time she applied...that kind of blew my mind...I keep hearing how hard it is to get into this program and yet I got in...which is still surprising...but it also makes me feel like maybe I can do this...mom keeps telling me that with how nicely everything is working out with the school that obviously God is working it all out and is trying to tell me not to worry...and that I will do great in the program despite all that is going on in my life...which is hard for me to remember...but I am getting more and more excited about my classes all the time...

When we were in the car one of the songs that played was the song "Spring is Coming" by Steven Curtis Chapman...and well I love that song...mainly because I love using spring to describe the way that hope takes root...we know in the midst of winter when everything is dreary and gray that the new life of spring is right around the corner...for me the same is true in the middle of the muck of life...like the words of the song "we planted the seed while the tears of our grief soaked the ground...and my hearts heavy now but I'm not letting go of this hope I have that tells me spring is coming"...for me that seed of hope is planted by God and the promises that he has given me that there is more to life and to me than this sickness that seems to rule everything I do...and oh how powerful that hope is...
 

HOPE is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I ’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me. ~ Emily Dickinson

Does that mean that because hope is so powerful that there aren't dark days...no way...but it means that hope gets me through those days...

So my prayer for you all mirrors that of Paul's...that you would experience that kind of hope yourself 

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13