I think I should warn you
That I am super grouchy...so I am going to try to not be a negative Nancy but that might be hard...
Can I just say you guys cracked me up with your use of amaze-balls...too fun...I loved it so much and it was making me laugh so much...definitely the pick me up I needed...If you don't know what I am talking about then you missed Thursday's post...which means you should check it out because I talked about my doctor's appointment from this past week...
Also we are getting ready to order shirts...we only had one person pre-order a kids shirt so we probably aren't going to order any...but again if you want a shirt let me know...
Another quick note...I have an appointment with my GI this week...so that should be fun...it's on Thursday and I have to leave the house pretty early to be there on time...I am sort of not looking forward to it because it will be early...but also looking forward to it because I can ask him questions about my surgery...so that should be nice...
I guess maybe too I should share why I am so grouchy...I am on day four of no napping...while trying to get my body back into a more normal sleep schedule...and it's taking forever...I still have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep...so I feel a little like I am not sleeping at all...which sucks normally but when your hemoglobin is below 7 and you don't feel good makes it even worse...I'm having one of those times where I wish my body would behave and let me sleep at night when I am tired...but that's not really happening...all that's happening is that I think I am hard to be around because I get upset easier and about the dumbest stuff too...so if I have gotten upset with you over something dumb in the past few days I am sorry...not napping is not fun...and on top of that I am not really supposed to have Dr. Pepper which is like the only caffeinated thing I drink...so that is putting me on edge too...it's hard to work yourself off of naps and caffeine...I'm not doing so good at it...
Something else I am not so good at is remembering...oftentimes when I read the Bible I feel like I can relate well to the Israelites because like them I forget everything even when it is right in front of me...like I forget how good God has been to me...I forget about the things he has brought me through and I forget the people he has brought into my life and I forget the experiences I have been blessed to have...the Israelites get criticized a lot for forgetting about God's goodness when he delivered them from slavery in Egypt or because they had the pillar of smoke and the pillar of fire to lead them yet still turned away from God...or even because they had all these rituals to follow that when we hear of them we think of I wouldn't forget if I had to do those things...but the thing is we are a forgetful people...I don't know about you but most of the time I forget just about everything...I can tell my mom the same things 3 times in an hour and forget each time that I have already told her about that...and I am even worse when it comes to God...I feel like oftentimes I try to remember those times when I have been overwhelmed by God's goodness and "write them on my heart" but I find that I still forget...
So lately I have been trying to remember...and it's hard...I am thankful I wrote down some of those things...some on here...other memories in different places...but I think we all need that reminder from time to time...maybe me most of all...
Because lately it has felt like a lot of people around me who were sick or hurt are getting better...and yet here I am still sick just as I have always been my whole life...sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow...sometimes I feel like "when is it my turn?"...when am I going to be the one who feels better...when am I going to get a new kidney...when am I going to get to say I am off dialysis...or off a medication...
That's a tough thing to handle sometimes and that's why I need to remember what God has done for me...what he has brought me through and what he has brought me too...the funny thing that I have noticed while looking back is that sometimes the things that seemed bad at the time turned into a blessing and have made me feel like I have been doing a good job of following the line in the song that says "all of my life in every season you are still God and I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship"...because the truth of it is that even though life is sucky my God is not...
Can I just say you guys cracked me up with your use of amaze-balls...too fun...I loved it so much and it was making me laugh so much...definitely the pick me up I needed...If you don't know what I am talking about then you missed Thursday's post...which means you should check it out because I talked about my doctor's appointment from this past week...
Also we are getting ready to order shirts...we only had one person pre-order a kids shirt so we probably aren't going to order any...but again if you want a shirt let me know...
Another quick note...I have an appointment with my GI this week...so that should be fun...it's on Thursday and I have to leave the house pretty early to be there on time...I am sort of not looking forward to it because it will be early...but also looking forward to it because I can ask him questions about my surgery...so that should be nice...
I guess maybe too I should share why I am so grouchy...I am on day four of no napping...while trying to get my body back into a more normal sleep schedule...and it's taking forever...I still have a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep...so I feel a little like I am not sleeping at all...which sucks normally but when your hemoglobin is below 7 and you don't feel good makes it even worse...I'm having one of those times where I wish my body would behave and let me sleep at night when I am tired...but that's not really happening...all that's happening is that I think I am hard to be around because I get upset easier and about the dumbest stuff too...so if I have gotten upset with you over something dumb in the past few days I am sorry...not napping is not fun...and on top of that I am not really supposed to have Dr. Pepper which is like the only caffeinated thing I drink...so that is putting me on edge too...it's hard to work yourself off of naps and caffeine...I'm not doing so good at it...
Something else I am not so good at is remembering...oftentimes when I read the Bible I feel like I can relate well to the Israelites because like them I forget everything even when it is right in front of me...like I forget how good God has been to me...I forget about the things he has brought me through and I forget the people he has brought into my life and I forget the experiences I have been blessed to have...the Israelites get criticized a lot for forgetting about God's goodness when he delivered them from slavery in Egypt or because they had the pillar of smoke and the pillar of fire to lead them yet still turned away from God...or even because they had all these rituals to follow that when we hear of them we think of I wouldn't forget if I had to do those things...but the thing is we are a forgetful people...I don't know about you but most of the time I forget just about everything...I can tell my mom the same things 3 times in an hour and forget each time that I have already told her about that...and I am even worse when it comes to God...I feel like oftentimes I try to remember those times when I have been overwhelmed by God's goodness and "write them on my heart" but I find that I still forget...
So lately I have been trying to remember...and it's hard...I am thankful I wrote down some of those things...some on here...other memories in different places...but I think we all need that reminder from time to time...maybe me most of all...
Because lately it has felt like a lot of people around me who were sick or hurt are getting better...and yet here I am still sick just as I have always been my whole life...sometimes that's a hard pill to swallow...sometimes I feel like "when is it my turn?"...when am I going to be the one who feels better...when am I going to get a new kidney...when am I going to get to say I am off dialysis...or off a medication...
That's a tough thing to handle sometimes and that's why I need to remember what God has done for me...what he has brought me through and what he has brought me too...the funny thing that I have noticed while looking back is that sometimes the things that seemed bad at the time turned into a blessing and have made me feel like I have been doing a good job of following the line in the song that says "all of my life in every season you are still God and I have a reason to sing I have a reason to worship"...because the truth of it is that even though life is sucky my God is not...
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