Something I love to do...
Is read the thanks you that artists write in their CDs...I always have...sometimes they say really cool and profound things...so when I bought Matt Maher's new CD The Love in Between I popped it in the player and flipped the booklet open to the thank yous like I always do...and I must say Matt Maher did not dissappoint...here's what he opened with...
"One thing I notice as time goes by in life...you really wannna say as mush as possible and use as few words as possible. When you consider that God, who is infinite, summarized Himself in a finite book, it makes you realize how maybe, just because we can communicate, or rather, because we can, means we should be intentional with not only what we say but how we say it."
With that being said I am going to try to keep this note short...
Though it has been a good week for me physically mentally I am drained...I'm having many mixed emotions about many things...mainly dialysis...I know starting it will help my body but I really just don't want to do it at all...no part of me desires that...and thinking about being on dialysis makes me want to cry...not even having another transplant does that to me if that tells you anything about how much I hate dialysis...I hate how it prolongs things...even though there will be another transplant in my future I look at dialysis as a type of slow painful death...and that makes me hate my life...
I also have been having a lot of mixed emotions because I am tired of all the pain and heartache that comes with being sick...not only my pain and heartache but that of my friends and family as well...I know that it's not really me causing them to have to deal with this but the sickness in me...but that doesn't make this process or going through it with them any easier...sickness can't comfort us...pain can't wipe away the tears...instead it just destroys the body leaving you and your loved ones to clean up the mess it's made...
Now I feel I have to say this for my own sanity and if I come across mean or harsh well then put yourself in my shoes and think about how dealing with this feels...if you can't even begin to imagine this life then don't say anything because that means you really don't know what to say and I would rather you not give me your cliches because they are just that and they are not helpful...
"One thing I notice as time goes by in life...you really wannna say as mush as possible and use as few words as possible. When you consider that God, who is infinite, summarized Himself in a finite book, it makes you realize how maybe, just because we can communicate, or rather, because we can, means we should be intentional with not only what we say but how we say it."
With that being said I am going to try to keep this note short...
Though it has been a good week for me physically mentally I am drained...I'm having many mixed emotions about many things...mainly dialysis...I know starting it will help my body but I really just don't want to do it at all...no part of me desires that...and thinking about being on dialysis makes me want to cry...not even having another transplant does that to me if that tells you anything about how much I hate dialysis...I hate how it prolongs things...even though there will be another transplant in my future I look at dialysis as a type of slow painful death...and that makes me hate my life...
I also have been having a lot of mixed emotions because I am tired of all the pain and heartache that comes with being sick...not only my pain and heartache but that of my friends and family as well...I know that it's not really me causing them to have to deal with this but the sickness in me...but that doesn't make this process or going through it with them any easier...sickness can't comfort us...pain can't wipe away the tears...instead it just destroys the body leaving you and your loved ones to clean up the mess it's made...
Now I feel I have to say this for my own sanity and if I come across mean or harsh well then put yourself in my shoes and think about how dealing with this feels...if you can't even begin to imagine this life then don't say anything because that means you really don't know what to say and I would rather you not give me your cliches because they are just that and they are not helpful...
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