Silver Alert!!!!!!
OK so soon after I posted on Saturday night about how much I hated that I was still in the hospital I decided I had had enough and was leaving the hospital wither a doctor signed me out or I signed myself out...
I can't really tell you what the last straw was I just was thinking all these things...like how what the doctor was saying wasn't adding up...how he was making me feel like an idiot when I have been dealing with this illness my whole life...how he's not my doctor and he didn't even act like he cared about me...and how in my eyes he tried to have power and control that really doesn't belong to him...when I say that I mean that I feel he tried to do what a lot of doctors do and that's play the God card...let me explain...I have encountered a lot of doctors and some of them can get a complex...because they have all this knowledge and do all these great things like saving lives some of them begin to think that they are like God and it's in their control wither you live or die...let me tell you...you are not about to play that card with me...EVER...there is only one God and He is in control of each breath I take and He can stop giving me them wither I am laying up in a hospital or not...and when you try to play God in my life you are gonna get shot down because I know who the King of Kings is...I know who sits enthroned above...and it's definitely not any doctor on this Earth who doesn't even have the time of day to treat me with a little respect...
I want to say that the nurses at OSF during this whole thing were incredible...even though I was probably being a bit of a diva they worked with me and my mom and where able to get us signed out of the hospital with doctors consent...so even though I titled this Silver Alert (which in a hospital is when a patient goes MIA) we didn't actually have a silver alert and we left the hospital with the nurses still thinking we are great and wanting to take care of me again when I go back for my transplant...so despite what may have come across as a temper tantrum last night I have been thinking that I should teach a class on how to treat nurses...I think a key thing that people need to remember when dealing with anyone...not just nurses...is you are always first and foremost dealing with another human begin who has emotions and feelings and a life just like you do...that person has value no matter what they are doing...and we need to treat each other with that respect...this week I got to know almost all of the nurses at 2400 (which is the kidney transplant wing at OSF) and the dialysis nurses along with quite a few doctors and transport people...and when I say I got to know them I mean more than recognize their face...I mean know little things about them...facts about them that make them their own person...things like how often they get their hair done or how many kids they have and what they like to do for fun or what makes them laugh...when you treat others with respect they usually will in return treat you with respect and when those are the people taking care of you it's kind of a good idea to have them on your side...
Now what to say about after leaving the hospital...
Well we knew that we were going to head out to camp and make it to the rest of BOND no doubt about it...what happened was we got signed out with the help of the nurses (that whole respect thing worked in our favor since they wanted to work with us even though I probably was being a diva)...then we drove home grabbed a few things a headed out to camp...we got out there at about 10:30 but it was a surprise...only Nicole and Rich knew that we were coming out...we had talked to Nicole multiple times during the day and had been updating her about what was going on...then she was the one that was getting our cabin ready and talking to Rich to try and help us figure out a surprise...what ended up happening was that we got out to camp threw our stuff in the staff cabin and then walked into the dining hall...seeing peoples reactions to us showing up at camp was really great...the excitement the double takes the elation just spread over people's attitudes to see me there and doing well and laughing and loving life...what a good feeling...
We were only at BOND for a short time but the way that God poured down his love was incredible and He never ceases to amaze me...first just in the love of my friends as they surrounded me and wanted to know how I was doing and take care of me and make me laugh...I just keep thinking about how silly it is of me that I ever doubt my place at camp because my family there constantly makes it apparent that I play an irreplaceable role in a great story that God is telling out there in the lives of a lot of people...then today the way things just kept happening...like Linda made homemade mac and cheese which is my favorite and was making it before she even knew I was there...it was weird today while singing my voice kept cracking big time which never happens but I didn't really care cause I'm praising Jesus and He doesn't care...to feel so incredibly good health wise and to feel so clear headed at the same time while praising Jesus was such an indescribable feeling...I feel better than I have in a long time...no headaches or body aches...no high blood pressure and only a little swelling...and to sing at the top of my lungs with my voice cracking "I may be weak but your spirit's strong in me my flesh may fail but my God you never will"...I can not begin to tell you what that meant to me today...to be so surrounded by God's love for me and to get lost in the truth of the goodness of His words after a rough couple of days...God only knows what that means to me...
Just goes to show yet again that despite how insane and upsetting this week was God is still good and God is still in control...and I will continue to praise Jesus Christ the Savior of the world crying out "give me faith to trust what you say that you're good and your love is great I'm broken inside I give you my life"
I can't really tell you what the last straw was I just was thinking all these things...like how what the doctor was saying wasn't adding up...how he was making me feel like an idiot when I have been dealing with this illness my whole life...how he's not my doctor and he didn't even act like he cared about me...and how in my eyes he tried to have power and control that really doesn't belong to him...when I say that I mean that I feel he tried to do what a lot of doctors do and that's play the God card...let me explain...I have encountered a lot of doctors and some of them can get a complex...because they have all this knowledge and do all these great things like saving lives some of them begin to think that they are like God and it's in their control wither you live or die...let me tell you...you are not about to play that card with me...EVER...there is only one God and He is in control of each breath I take and He can stop giving me them wither I am laying up in a hospital or not...and when you try to play God in my life you are gonna get shot down because I know who the King of Kings is...I know who sits enthroned above...and it's definitely not any doctor on this Earth who doesn't even have the time of day to treat me with a little respect...
I want to say that the nurses at OSF during this whole thing were incredible...even though I was probably being a bit of a diva they worked with me and my mom and where able to get us signed out of the hospital with doctors consent...so even though I titled this Silver Alert (which in a hospital is when a patient goes MIA) we didn't actually have a silver alert and we left the hospital with the nurses still thinking we are great and wanting to take care of me again when I go back for my transplant...so despite what may have come across as a temper tantrum last night I have been thinking that I should teach a class on how to treat nurses...I think a key thing that people need to remember when dealing with anyone...not just nurses...is you are always first and foremost dealing with another human begin who has emotions and feelings and a life just like you do...that person has value no matter what they are doing...and we need to treat each other with that respect...this week I got to know almost all of the nurses at 2400 (which is the kidney transplant wing at OSF) and the dialysis nurses along with quite a few doctors and transport people...and when I say I got to know them I mean more than recognize their face...I mean know little things about them...facts about them that make them their own person...things like how often they get their hair done or how many kids they have and what they like to do for fun or what makes them laugh...when you treat others with respect they usually will in return treat you with respect and when those are the people taking care of you it's kind of a good idea to have them on your side...
Now what to say about after leaving the hospital...
Well we knew that we were going to head out to camp and make it to the rest of BOND no doubt about it...what happened was we got signed out with the help of the nurses (that whole respect thing worked in our favor since they wanted to work with us even though I probably was being a diva)...then we drove home grabbed a few things a headed out to camp...we got out there at about 10:30 but it was a surprise...only Nicole and Rich knew that we were coming out...we had talked to Nicole multiple times during the day and had been updating her about what was going on...then she was the one that was getting our cabin ready and talking to Rich to try and help us figure out a surprise...what ended up happening was that we got out to camp threw our stuff in the staff cabin and then walked into the dining hall...seeing peoples reactions to us showing up at camp was really great...the excitement the double takes the elation just spread over people's attitudes to see me there and doing well and laughing and loving life...what a good feeling...
We were only at BOND for a short time but the way that God poured down his love was incredible and He never ceases to amaze me...first just in the love of my friends as they surrounded me and wanted to know how I was doing and take care of me and make me laugh...I just keep thinking about how silly it is of me that I ever doubt my place at camp because my family there constantly makes it apparent that I play an irreplaceable role in a great story that God is telling out there in the lives of a lot of people...then today the way things just kept happening...like Linda made homemade mac and cheese which is my favorite and was making it before she even knew I was there...it was weird today while singing my voice kept cracking big time which never happens but I didn't really care cause I'm praising Jesus and He doesn't care...to feel so incredibly good health wise and to feel so clear headed at the same time while praising Jesus was such an indescribable feeling...I feel better than I have in a long time...no headaches or body aches...no high blood pressure and only a little swelling...and to sing at the top of my lungs with my voice cracking "I may be weak but your spirit's strong in me my flesh may fail but my God you never will"...I can not begin to tell you what that meant to me today...to be so surrounded by God's love for me and to get lost in the truth of the goodness of His words after a rough couple of days...God only knows what that means to me...
Just goes to show yet again that despite how insane and upsetting this week was God is still good and God is still in control...and I will continue to praise Jesus Christ the Savior of the world crying out "give me faith to trust what you say that you're good and your love is great I'm broken inside I give you my life"
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