You know what's weird
When people react in a more extreme way to a situation you personally are dealing with than you do...makes it kind of awkward...and can be really confusing...
Take for example this week...we found out my sister is not a match and therefore not a good candidate to be a donor to give me a kidney...I'm not upset with that because I figure that God has something else planned so this really is no big deal...just because my sister doesn't match doesn't mean that God isn't in control and that He is no longer worthy of the name "healer"...it means that the Healer who is in control is doing something unpredictable that will as always end up great...now I get that and most of my family gets that...but it seems a lot of people aren't as calm about all of this stuff as I am...when they come to me freakin out about it...I feel like I don't know what to do...should I now be upset because they are...this is after all my life they are getting upset about...gosh it can be so confusing...usually I just stick to being chill cause what good does it do me to freak out...I don't have the energy or time for that...but if you do go ahead and be my guest...
I don't really know what else to tell you about this week...it's been pretty slow...I've been sitting around the house doing much of nothing...which gets super boring super fast...and since I know that I can get my homework done in no time and do great on it I usually put that off forever...as always I have been sleeping a lot and trying to get warm since I feel like a popsicle 99.9% of the time...
I had my shot this week...I get it every other week...and it usually makes me feel like crap...this week was no exception...it always seems to hit me a little different though...this week the side effects can within the past few days...really bad last night and today...making me constantly feel like I am going to barf...on top of that my blood pressure has been way up...which has been causing a lot of check pain...so that's not cool...as a result yesterday and today I slept most of the day...I must be finally starting to feel better though since I sort of have an appetite again...the weird thing is that I am craving foods that I don't normally like...for example I normally think eggs are gross...the smell the taste...they gross me out...usually just the smell makes me want to throw up...tonight however scrambled eggs sounded really good to me...so mom made me some and well I ate almost all of them and didn't barf...in other words I feel like there is something way wrong with me right now...but since I haven't eaten much in the past few days I will take it...I need to get something in my body...
Besides my normal do nothing days I think this week has felt so blah is because I am looking forward to Friday Saturday and Sunday so much...on Friday I will head out to camp with mom for BOND...I can't wait...when I was in Arizona This was the weekend I flew home for instead of being home for thanksgiving...that's how much I LOVE it...I look forward to seeing my friends and family that will be there and being surrounded by so much love...I am going to try my best to not over do it...but I know that I will want to be around everyone as much as possible so it will be hard...for those of you who know what the camp looks like and are worried about me getting around...have no fear...I know the chapel is at the top of a huge hill but some of my brothers have already said that they will carry me around...and have been trying to think of other ways to transport me as well...they also know I can be stubborn when it comes to accepting help...but I'm little and easy to pick up so I can really protest if they just pick me up...it also helps that I know without a doubt that all they do for me is out of love because they want to help me out and be there for me and wouldn't have it any other way...though I often feel like I inconvenience people because of how sick I am they never make me feel that way and lovingly put me in my place when I start to question or doubt that...there is so much I am really looking forward to...I am looking forward to hugs and laughter and singing with the band and catching up and simply being able to look around me and see so many of the people that I love near me...I am getting so excited right now and I can't wait...
For those of you looking for an update about donation information now...currently my cousin Randy who lives in Arizona is waiting for stuff to come in the mail from the transplant doctors office...that should be here within this week and then he starts the testing process...yet again we just have to wait and see what happens...can't lie it feels good to have so many people in my life who love me and want to give me such an amazing gift of life...even though I feel pretty gross I think I have been in such good spirits because I keep thinking about how blessed I am in that way...
Take for example this week...we found out my sister is not a match and therefore not a good candidate to be a donor to give me a kidney...I'm not upset with that because I figure that God has something else planned so this really is no big deal...just because my sister doesn't match doesn't mean that God isn't in control and that He is no longer worthy of the name "healer"...it means that the Healer who is in control is doing something unpredictable that will as always end up great...now I get that and most of my family gets that...but it seems a lot of people aren't as calm about all of this stuff as I am...when they come to me freakin out about it...I feel like I don't know what to do...should I now be upset because they are...this is after all my life they are getting upset about...gosh it can be so confusing...usually I just stick to being chill cause what good does it do me to freak out...I don't have the energy or time for that...but if you do go ahead and be my guest...
I don't really know what else to tell you about this week...it's been pretty slow...I've been sitting around the house doing much of nothing...which gets super boring super fast...and since I know that I can get my homework done in no time and do great on it I usually put that off forever...as always I have been sleeping a lot and trying to get warm since I feel like a popsicle 99.9% of the time...
I had my shot this week...I get it every other week...and it usually makes me feel like crap...this week was no exception...it always seems to hit me a little different though...this week the side effects can within the past few days...really bad last night and today...making me constantly feel like I am going to barf...on top of that my blood pressure has been way up...which has been causing a lot of check pain...so that's not cool...as a result yesterday and today I slept most of the day...I must be finally starting to feel better though since I sort of have an appetite again...the weird thing is that I am craving foods that I don't normally like...for example I normally think eggs are gross...the smell the taste...they gross me out...usually just the smell makes me want to throw up...tonight however scrambled eggs sounded really good to me...so mom made me some and well I ate almost all of them and didn't barf...in other words I feel like there is something way wrong with me right now...but since I haven't eaten much in the past few days I will take it...I need to get something in my body...
Besides my normal do nothing days I think this week has felt so blah is because I am looking forward to Friday Saturday and Sunday so much...on Friday I will head out to camp with mom for BOND...I can't wait...when I was in Arizona This was the weekend I flew home for instead of being home for thanksgiving...that's how much I LOVE it...I look forward to seeing my friends and family that will be there and being surrounded by so much love...I am going to try my best to not over do it...but I know that I will want to be around everyone as much as possible so it will be hard...for those of you who know what the camp looks like and are worried about me getting around...have no fear...I know the chapel is at the top of a huge hill but some of my brothers have already said that they will carry me around...and have been trying to think of other ways to transport me as well...they also know I can be stubborn when it comes to accepting help...but I'm little and easy to pick up so I can really protest if they just pick me up...it also helps that I know without a doubt that all they do for me is out of love because they want to help me out and be there for me and wouldn't have it any other way...though I often feel like I inconvenience people because of how sick I am they never make me feel that way and lovingly put me in my place when I start to question or doubt that...there is so much I am really looking forward to...I am looking forward to hugs and laughter and singing with the band and catching up and simply being able to look around me and see so many of the people that I love near me...I am getting so excited right now and I can't wait...
For those of you looking for an update about donation information now...currently my cousin Randy who lives in Arizona is waiting for stuff to come in the mail from the transplant doctors office...that should be here within this week and then he starts the testing process...yet again we just have to wait and see what happens...can't lie it feels good to have so many people in my life who love me and want to give me such an amazing gift of life...even though I feel pretty gross I think I have been in such good spirits because I keep thinking about how blessed I am in that way...
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