"How are you feeling?"

I haven't really known how to answer that question recently when people have been asking me about my health...I don't necessarily feel bad but I don't feel good either...but that happens when your kidney doesn't work and you are on a transplant waiting list...your body does all these weird crappy things that hurt...I get these horrible pains at weird times in awkward places...like today in church during a prayer I got this horrible pain in my stomach area that was crampy but also like someone had punched me in the gut...it was bad...luckily we were praying so only my friends noticed me doubled over in pain...things like that though are just things I have to buck up and get used to because they aren't going away until I have a kidney that works...

I can tell you this week I am super sick of dialysis and of getting stuck with needles...so that is a little depressing because that is my life for real right now so I can't do anything about that...

On the positive end of things I am starting to get excited about camp this summer which is good because it is coming up soon...I actually feel good for camp this year so that makes a big difference...also I am excited to counsel with my best friend...we have some pretty sweet ideas for our cabin...feels good to have that stuff together already...

Not much has really happened this week because I have been so tired...my hemoglobin is still good but I am worn out all the time and have been sleeping a lot...but again that happens when your kidney doesn't work...just because my hemoglobin is good doesn't mean any of my other numbers are really that good...but we are doing what I can while I wait for a match...that's what happens when you are on a transplant list....you wait and wait and get worse and wait and that's pretty much it...

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