Sometimes you just need to blast Florence + the Machine "Shake it Out"
I'll get back to why...but maybe first some fun things...
Like my story from yesterday morning...I had just gotten up and I was getting my meds ready while singing to myself...normal morning stuff around here and for some reason both mom and dad were gone...but I started thinking how funny it would be if Zachary Levi knocked on my door...and then someone knocked on the door...so I jokingly was like "God, is that him?"...but instead it was a Jehovah witness...mind you she was really nice but still a Jehovah witness none the less...so after she left I was like gosh I should have stayed in bed for another half an hour...or not messed around so much and gotten in the shower sooner...or not have been day dreaming about Zachary Levi showing up and I wouldn't have answered the door...I blame him for the Jehovah witness at my door...
What else has happened this week...I went to my brother Kenny's open house...and we made him some fun house warming presents...like a poop sign...and a barn star...and I got some blood this week finally...but I think I already posted about that...my hemoglobin was 5.6 when I got blood...no wonder all I wanted to do was sleep all day...
As some of you have seen on facebook I have been going through our pictures and scanning some old family photos...it's kind of time consuming because we have a lot of photos...and I am not about to scan all of them...so I go through and pick out the ones I like...and it takes a while...I was telling my mom the other day sometimes I go through the photos and I just laugh and laugh thinking of all the fun we had doing different things...or how silly we look in some of the pictures...and then other times I just want to cry because there are a lot of times when I was in the hospital over holidays or birthdays...like I recently came across some of the pictures from when we went to Disneyland with my cousins and grandparents...and well I was throwing up every night but didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want to ruin the trip...and I figured it would pass...but it didn't and then I was in the hospital in Arizona over Easter...and a total grouch...and then when I got home about a month later I was in the hospital again with shingles for the first time...and I think about times like that and I feel bad that everyone had to come see me in the hospital because we couldn't do our normal thing because I was sick...and I feel bad that my brother Mikey had to spend like his whole vacation in the hospital too because Bumpa and GG wanted to be there with me...so I was looking through these pictures with mixed feelings thinking about how fun my life was but also how sick I have been and that's kind of a downer...mom though has been telling me to focus on the positive...so I have been trying to...like laughing about all my mismatched outfits because I always wanted to dress myself and I always looked crazy...or the weird trips to the middle of no where that our grandparents would take us on as we went stir crazy in the car...it really has been a full life already...
Now on to why I am listening to Florence...I feel like crap...and I am having one of those days when I just want to cry because I don't feel good...I have been having a lot of those this week...I'm still worn out even though I got that blood...I mean I'm not feeling like I am going to pass out nor do I have the shakes anymore...but I do still want to sleep all the time...and last night and pretty much all day today it has felt like I am just getting stabbed over and over again in the side where my kidney is...worst pain ever...and I would love to just shake off this bad feeling like Florence does in her video but if I were to move like that it would probably hurt a lot since everything else hurts...I hurt so much I went to church in my sweatpants...for realsies guys...and I probably swore under my breathe a few times at my kidney for being a diva since I have at home but whatever...God knows I'm in pain...I'm glad no one said anything about it to me because I was not in the mood either...I probably would have been like "go away before I hit you"...since I did tell mom that if Kevin (my friend and our worship leader) kept talking about heaven I was going to hit him...don't really want to have another reason to cry...and wanting to be in heaven instead of here in this jacked up body is definitely something that can get me crying...
So thank you church people for accepting my sweatpants...you got to see me today how I look pretty much every other day...because I'm super sick...
During church mom asked...do you need to go home...no...do we need to take you to the hospital...no they will just tell me I have kidney failure and that kidney pain comes with that which I already know...seriously though feeling your body fall apart is no fun at all...no wonder I don't ever want to get out of my bed...
Like my story from yesterday morning...I had just gotten up and I was getting my meds ready while singing to myself...normal morning stuff around here and for some reason both mom and dad were gone...but I started thinking how funny it would be if Zachary Levi knocked on my door...and then someone knocked on the door...so I jokingly was like "God, is that him?"...but instead it was a Jehovah witness...mind you she was really nice but still a Jehovah witness none the less...so after she left I was like gosh I should have stayed in bed for another half an hour...or not messed around so much and gotten in the shower sooner...or not have been day dreaming about Zachary Levi showing up and I wouldn't have answered the door...I blame him for the Jehovah witness at my door...
What else has happened this week...I went to my brother Kenny's open house...and we made him some fun house warming presents...like a poop sign...and a barn star...and I got some blood this week finally...but I think I already posted about that...my hemoglobin was 5.6 when I got blood...no wonder all I wanted to do was sleep all day...
As some of you have seen on facebook I have been going through our pictures and scanning some old family photos...it's kind of time consuming because we have a lot of photos...and I am not about to scan all of them...so I go through and pick out the ones I like...and it takes a while...I was telling my mom the other day sometimes I go through the photos and I just laugh and laugh thinking of all the fun we had doing different things...or how silly we look in some of the pictures...and then other times I just want to cry because there are a lot of times when I was in the hospital over holidays or birthdays...like I recently came across some of the pictures from when we went to Disneyland with my cousins and grandparents...and well I was throwing up every night but didn't want to tell anyone because I didn't want to ruin the trip...and I figured it would pass...but it didn't and then I was in the hospital in Arizona over Easter...and a total grouch...and then when I got home about a month later I was in the hospital again with shingles for the first time...and I think about times like that and I feel bad that everyone had to come see me in the hospital because we couldn't do our normal thing because I was sick...and I feel bad that my brother Mikey had to spend like his whole vacation in the hospital too because Bumpa and GG wanted to be there with me...so I was looking through these pictures with mixed feelings thinking about how fun my life was but also how sick I have been and that's kind of a downer...mom though has been telling me to focus on the positive...so I have been trying to...like laughing about all my mismatched outfits because I always wanted to dress myself and I always looked crazy...or the weird trips to the middle of no where that our grandparents would take us on as we went stir crazy in the car...it really has been a full life already...
Now on to why I am listening to Florence...I feel like crap...and I am having one of those days when I just want to cry because I don't feel good...I have been having a lot of those this week...I'm still worn out even though I got that blood...I mean I'm not feeling like I am going to pass out nor do I have the shakes anymore...but I do still want to sleep all the time...and last night and pretty much all day today it has felt like I am just getting stabbed over and over again in the side where my kidney is...worst pain ever...and I would love to just shake off this bad feeling like Florence does in her video but if I were to move like that it would probably hurt a lot since everything else hurts...I hurt so much I went to church in my sweatpants...for realsies guys...and I probably swore under my breathe a few times at my kidney for being a diva since I have at home but whatever...God knows I'm in pain...I'm glad no one said anything about it to me because I was not in the mood either...I probably would have been like "go away before I hit you"...since I did tell mom that if Kevin (my friend and our worship leader) kept talking about heaven I was going to hit him...don't really want to have another reason to cry...and wanting to be in heaven instead of here in this jacked up body is definitely something that can get me crying...
So thank you church people for accepting my sweatpants...you got to see me today how I look pretty much every other day...because I'm super sick...
During church mom asked...do you need to go home...no...do we need to take you to the hospital...no they will just tell me I have kidney failure and that kidney pain comes with that which I already know...seriously though feeling your body fall apart is no fun at all...no wonder I don't ever want to get out of my bed...
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