Have I mentioned I don't sleep
One of the many side effects of having a jacked up kidney...BUT last night happened to be one of those rare occasions where I did sleep...so I took advantage of it...which is really only one of the reasons I didn't do my normal Sunday night post...another one being I was spending time watching old Disney movies with Nicole and Kristin...also I was super proud of my last post and feels so good about it...whenever I have a post like that I don't want to post afterwards because I feel like every time just sounds lame after that...I feel like I need to come up with some other awesome idea to post about...sadly words don't always come that easily and the majority of the ideas rolling around in my head are not as good as that...or at least not as developed...
I will say that I had a doctors appointment this last week...I didn't mention it because well nothing really happened...I'm doing good and the doctor thinks so too...so no new meds...no news on the transplant testing...nothing really...the only thing that did happen is that he challenged me to get out more and do more...I told him I would but that if I ended up back in the hospital I was blaming him...and he was fine with that...even though I know I won't end up in the hospital I am still nervous about this...I'm nervous because I already hear myself doing the same things I used to do that aided in me almost dying twice last year...I tell myself over and over again that I am fine...even when I am not...mind you it is not that bad...I'm not going to be rushed to the hospital anytime soon that I know of...but I try to cover up what is really going on with me...it's like I try to hide it from myself...lying to myself that I feel great even when I don't...that I can do all these things that I really can't and shouldn't do...It really is a problem...and I need to work on that...so I guess that is my challenge to myself...to follow the doctors orders but still take care of myself and not lie about how I feel...
On another note today was dad's first day going out to the store...he has already been to church and out to a friends house but today was his first time grocery shopping...and as always when you live in a small town we saw people we knew that we had to stop and talk too...so that was nice...I think people like seeing dad for themselves...to see him up and about it makes them feel like he really is ok and is going to be fine...now he is getting a taste of what the past 20 years has been like for me too...the endless questions that you don't know the answers to...the way people talk to you in general...some are better than others...my favorites (not) are the ones who are overly positive about everything..."oh you haven't heard any news about your transplant I guess no news is good news"...in my head I'm thinking shut up or I'mma punch you...dad also gets to experience having enough meds to stock up a pharmacy...endless body aches all over and everything making you tired...and so many more fun things that come with being sick and healing...it's a long process and sometimes you wish it would just be over already...
One last quick note...I am so stinkin proud of my family...I know I have boasted before about my friends and my family but I'm going to do it again...we have been through a lot but we are still here and most days still positive and ready to see what else life has for us...each day is a blessing and I am beyond blessed to have the people in my life that I do...
I will say that I had a doctors appointment this last week...I didn't mention it because well nothing really happened...I'm doing good and the doctor thinks so too...so no new meds...no news on the transplant testing...nothing really...the only thing that did happen is that he challenged me to get out more and do more...I told him I would but that if I ended up back in the hospital I was blaming him...and he was fine with that...even though I know I won't end up in the hospital I am still nervous about this...I'm nervous because I already hear myself doing the same things I used to do that aided in me almost dying twice last year...I tell myself over and over again that I am fine...even when I am not...mind you it is not that bad...I'm not going to be rushed to the hospital anytime soon that I know of...but I try to cover up what is really going on with me...it's like I try to hide it from myself...lying to myself that I feel great even when I don't...that I can do all these things that I really can't and shouldn't do...It really is a problem...and I need to work on that...so I guess that is my challenge to myself...to follow the doctors orders but still take care of myself and not lie about how I feel...
On another note today was dad's first day going out to the store...he has already been to church and out to a friends house but today was his first time grocery shopping...and as always when you live in a small town we saw people we knew that we had to stop and talk too...so that was nice...I think people like seeing dad for themselves...to see him up and about it makes them feel like he really is ok and is going to be fine...now he is getting a taste of what the past 20 years has been like for me too...the endless questions that you don't know the answers to...the way people talk to you in general...some are better than others...my favorites (not) are the ones who are overly positive about everything..."oh you haven't heard any news about your transplant I guess no news is good news"...in my head I'm thinking shut up or I'mma punch you...dad also gets to experience having enough meds to stock up a pharmacy...endless body aches all over and everything making you tired...and so many more fun things that come with being sick and healing...it's a long process and sometimes you wish it would just be over already...
One last quick note...I am so stinkin proud of my family...I know I have boasted before about my friends and my family but I'm going to do it again...we have been through a lot but we are still here and most days still positive and ready to see what else life has for us...each day is a blessing and I am beyond blessed to have the people in my life that I do...
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