Oh my goodness

So much is going on at our house...

Dad is home so that is a pretty big deal...yesterday when he came home there was a welcome party here for him...made up mainly of church people...I think it was good for him to see how much he is loved and was missed...and then the twins got us lunch at Arthurs...so that was fun...other people have been visiting today as well helping out around the house and with him...that has meant a lot to me...things can get kind of overwhelming around here especailly for mom as she has both me and dad to look after here...it is a little weird to try and find a new routine while we are trying to get some other stuff done as well...still sometimes pretaining to the accident...not gonna lie...its rough and there has already been a lot of crying going on in this household...and mom is already feeling pretty worn out...she napped today almost the whole time I was on dialysis and she almost never naps for that long...its a little alarming to think about what life will be like as we get used to this new life and transfer into it...I have this feeling things will get rougher and more crazy before they start to calm done at all...on the bright side though Mike and Shelia brought over the boys last night and they were excited to have papa home...Jeremiah grinned really big when he saw him...Matthew seems like he is not sure what to do yet but he's young and he will warm up to the new changes...we had a good time last night eating Salamandra's and spending time with eachother having dad home...

On another note I have been thinking even more about camp...I am still unsure that I was usefull at all even though some of my campers have told me I was...those fears and doubts that kicked in big time before camp still linger after camp...

But it was great to be able to spend so much time with so many people that I love...

Like these girls...

who were in my cabin

and this girl who couldn't make it to banquet

and my best friend who was a great co-counselor

And I got to spend time with my brothers...

like this one that I have known for 10 years

And this one who is a man now

and this one who is a lot like me

And this one who I spend a lot of time with

and these guys who think they are cool

and this one who loves it when I pick on him

and this one who is a newer addition

Needless to say I have a lot of brothers...and this isn't even all of them....but they were a great encouragment to me during camp making sure I was ok and healthy and such...basically I am super blessed...it's nice to know that even if I don't feel like I did anything good these guys were around to love on me and assure me that I have done good things in the lives of people before...

I guess I can't question myself too much though since this happened in my cabin...

We were praying for real...we liked to switch it up and instead of holding hands all the time decided to do a hands in the middle huddle time of thing...I feel like this too should make me feel like I did a good work at Senior Camp...but the doubts still linger...I wonder if the things I shared were things they needed to hear...I wonder if we should have talked about other things...I wonder if I was open enough to them and to the spirit moving...I wonder if they felt comfortable enough around me to share their lives with...I wonder if I was able to help them in their situations at all...I wonder if they truly understand from what we talked about that they are really princesses...they are the daughters of the most high King...and I wonder if they know how much He loves them and how much I love them...