to my momma, on your birthday

You've been telling us recently that you don't want any gifts for holidays or birthdays instead you want us to write something for you...like a favorite memory or a poem or anything really...you would think as someone who wants to be a writer this tasks wouldn't be daunting to me...but it is...because I do I pick out just one memory out of all the good ones I have...and how do I write something like this without crying...

For all these years you have been by my side showing me what love and sacrifice looks like as you have sat by my hospital bed, slept in uncomfortable places, gone on long car rides, and spend countless hours in doctor's waiting rooms...all to make sure that I was ok or that I would be ok...and now you have learned a whole new machine and routine that takes up pretty much all of your free time just so I can be more comfortable...

I have loved our talks as we drive to see the doctor or even the times I would call you from Arizona because I was freaking out and you patiently listened...I love how you always seem to know how to make staying in the hospital not so bad by playing silly games and befriending everyone we meet..or how you let me eat whatever I want when I am having a bad day reminding me that life should be good even when it feels sucky...I love that with you it feels like everything turns into some sort of adventure whether it is just singing a long to the songs in the car or talking about the houses that we pass on the way to Peoria...

Thank you for all the things you don't have to do...like fast when I have to...and then put up with how cranky I get when I haven't eaten in what feels to my stomach like forever...or all the silly things I want to do...like go to the zoo a million times or find a Quiznos or name the Jesus statues at the hospital...

I can't deny that this past year has been rough because your medical bills prove that...but it's not just the bad things I will remember but the good things that you taught me through it all...like letting other people say the nice things they think works so that they at least can feel better even if you don't...or being honest enough to say that things are sucky...and to speak up when I don't feel good or feel like I need some lovin too...and how to slowly but sure take the good days and the bad days one day at a time knowing that God only gives good gifts whether the days holds a lot of tears or a lot of laughter...you teach me endless amounts of patience and strength and sacrifice and love simply by being my mom...

Happy Birthday to the best woman I know...

I love you

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